Dear Ileana, You broke my heart.  Why?  I went out tonight for Carmen's birthday.  There were other people from work there.  I got the impression at one point that you would've joined us, but you decided not to because I was there.  Was I so bad to you that you don't even want to see me?  I don't understand.  What did I do to you?  It really sucks.  There were at least two girls tonight that I'm sure liked me.  Why don't you like me?  If you had the chance, would you tell those two girls how bad and terrible I am?  Would you tell them all the reasons why they should pass me by for a dj or a rock band singer or an artist instead?  Do those titles make those guys better than me?  What makes me such a terrible guy in your eyes?  Why do you avoid me?  Why do you put up wall after wall between us?  I don't understand.  People like me, yet you don't.  I don't get it.  I've always wanted to be an intelligent, athletic, and kind person.  Have I failed?  Compared to all the other guys in Philadelphia or in the whole world, am I really that undesirable?  Why couldn't you be honest with me about your reason for leaving me?  You lied to me until the very end.  Why did you lie?  How could you lie to my face?  Did I not deserve the respect of honesty?  Was I that unworthy, to be dealt lies?  You make me feel like shit.  You make me feel like a bad person.  You make me feel like I'm lacking something.  You make me feel like less than a man.  You've destroyed my confidence.  You've bruised my ego.  You've killed my spirit.  Why have you done all these things to me?  Do I deserve all these things?  Please tell me the truth.  Love,