Dear Ileana, I had a missed call from you earlier today, just past 3:30pm.  I didn't realize the phone was ringing, and I'm glad I didn't realize it.  My theory is that you were probably deleting my number from your contacts, and you accidentally dialed me, then when you realized that you were calling me, you immediately hung up, then promptly deleted my number.  This is a pretty reasonable theory, considering you've cut me off in almost every other possible way.  Plus, I can't imagine why you'd actually want to call me at 3:30pm on a Saturday.  I'm guessing you already had plans tonight to hang out with some guy.  And how can I compete with any of these guys?  I'm not full-blooded Latino.  I'm not an artist.  I'm not a dj.  I'm not the lead singer in a rock band.  I don't have a Latino last name.  You don't have a crush on me.  I don't have groupies.  All I am is a guy who's dedicated his life to those who are less fortunate.  I've asked God, years ago, to use me and my skills to fight for the rights of those who don't have a voice.  Although I have the ability to make a lot of money, to this point I've forsaken that to serve those who are underprivileged.  I'm a humble man with considerable skill and the willingness to fight anyone.  But I get the feeling that, in your eyes, I'm a nobody, none of that means anything.  I'm not famous.  And you are a beautiful, intelligent Latina that deserves more than a man who fits my profile.  Isn't that right?  And so, earlier today, you were probably deleting my number, to psychologically move on from me, and to make room for your new love interest or crush, but you accidentally called me.  Oh well.  Love,