Dear Ileana, I'm so sad.  My life feels so empty without you in it.  Yeah, I've got a great network of friends and people that care about me.  And I thank God for those people because I don't know where I'd be or how I'd feel without them and their support.  But Ileana, no one can replace you.  I don't believe there's a single person in this world that could ever replace you.  I miss you so much it hurts.  Then I wonder, have I depended on you too much for my happiness?  If so, that's a problem, and it explains how I'm feeling now.  And it makes sense that maybe you did the same with me.  And if that's so, then that was a form of pressure that we put on each other.  And that makes sense too.  Looking back, and not even that far, I should've encouraged you and made sure, for example, that you went to that all-day panel at Taller just a month or so ago.  And you should've encouraged me to buy a bicycle and start riding it regularly.  We both should've pushed each other to follow-through on private salsa lessons: it would've been fun and it would've brought us closer together.  I think we both unintentionally fell into the trap of our daily routines.  This is a big lesson we both need to learn, and hopefully God willing, with each other.  I hope you know, Ileana, that I didn't intend for you to feel in "handcuffs," like you said in our last conversation.  You should know that because I've always been one to go out, to party, to eat, to walk, to go on adventures, etc., and you know that because we've done all of those things together.  I wanna do those things with you again: I want to travel to new places, I want to go dancing frequently (so I get better too!), I want to go on random, spontaneous adventures within and outside the city, I want to try new activities that we've never done.  In a nutshell, I want to live life, deeply and happily, with you Ileana.  I want no one else but you and I know we can do this. Love,