Dear Ileana, I cried again tonight because I miss you so much.  I'm not sure what else to say right now.  I'm writing all these letters because I want you to see, know, and believe some day when you read them that I really, truly do love you, and I don't want to be with anyone but you.  But then I wonder: has there ever been a question that I love you?  For the most part I think: not really.  Then I think that if you focus on my biggest mistakes, my most hurtful moments towards you, then I think that maybe you have questioned my love for you.  And my response to that is: I love you with my whole heart and soul, so much so that, if I can't be with you, I prefer to be alone.  I love you so much that I am willing to wait for you.  My mistakes were moments of weakness, and very hard lessons learned, of what never to do again, words and deeds for which I have prayed for God's forgiveness, and for which I beg for your forgiveness.  My love for you is so great that I am committed to accepting responsibility for those mistakes and making change to be a better man.  I believe I've been doing that and I'll keep doing that.  But anyway, I'm kinda getting off track, because I believe you already know that I love you; at least I hope so.  If I understand our break-up, then I think the true question is whether you love me.  And I think you need time and space apart from me to discover the answer.  In my heart, I believe you love me, but you've been hurt by me, and you reacted to that hurt in ways that you now feel guilty about, which makes it even more difficult to both give and receive love.  That's my opinion, and I pray to God that I'm right, because if I am, then ultimately, at our core, we both love each other deeply.  And if that is true, then we will be together again, according to God's will.  I have faith (that's definitely being tested) that this break will allow negativity to dissipate and go away, to be replaced by forgiveness, and finally true love.  Love,