Dear Ileana, I really miss you a lot.  I think you're an amazing young woman, both intelligent and beautiful.  You're a rare breed and I'm sure you know it.  I really miss our time together.  I thought we had a good thing, but I guess you don't agree.  And as attracted as I am to you, I guess you don't feel the same way about me.  I don't understand why you moved in with me.  I don't understand why you came back to me in January and February.  I don't understand why you promised to be exclusive.  I don't understand why you started dating me at all.  I don't think you ever loved me, not for one day, not even for one minute.  I don't even think you ever liked me.  So why did you start dating me?  Is it because you wanted to teach a lesson to Stefan: that he was making a mistake by leaving you for Brazil?  Do you think you were successful at teaching him that lesson?  Do you realize that you did it at the expense of a man's heart and over two years of a man's mortal life?  You used me as an instrument.  You used me.  Put yourself in my shoes, in my head, and in my heart.  How do you think I feel?  Despite all the hurt you've put me through, I still love you.  And that's the really hard thing to deal with right now.  You dragged me along, not realizing that my love for you kept getting deeper and deeper.  Its hard for me to imagine my life without you, yet that's exactly what's been forced on me.  I guess I should start thinking of moving on.  But each and every day is a struggle.  I think of you non-stop.  You're still in my heart.  But what choice do I have?  I just wish you had been honest with me all along, but most especially at the end.  I don't think you were.  In fact, I know you weren't, because your words and actions were so wildly inconsistent that something, some parts of that, had to have been a fraudulent act.  Why?  Love,