Dear Ileana, My hope for us is starting to fade.  I know how I feel and I love you.  But I just don't have a lot of faith that you love me.  Maybe I'm not giving you enough credit or maybe I'm just scared.  Or maybe you really don't love me.  I have no way, right now, of knowing for sure.  So I can only guess, and that means falling prey to the ups and downs of my daily hopes and fears.  I know that there are several things that I will never do in any relationship with any woman in the future, including and especially you, if I get that opportunity.  These are lessons learned from my relationship with you, and understanding that I did things that really harmed the relationship and that really hurt your feelings.  I'm still very sorry for these mistakes and I will continue to pray for your forgiveness.  I love you, Ileana, please believe me.  That's why I feel so badly that I gave in to impulses and immature reactions that sent you a message other than love.  These are my promises to myself and my future, and if you can forgive me, to you too: I will never cheat again, never, its not worth it, and its so dishonorable; I will never hit a woman, never ever, its also not worth it, its reactionary and undignified for a man to do that to a woman; I will speak kindly to my woman, in other words I will be aware of how my words affect other people, especially those who love me and deserve my positive, reassuring support; I will make my woman my number one priority, meaning that although I will be responsible to my job and work responsibilities, whenever reasonably possible, I will make time to be with my woman, I want her to be the center of my world, not just as a cliche, but in my everyday choices in life, including compromising and doing things that she wants to do, especially with her friends too.  These are four huge lessons that I have learned.  I wonder if I'll be able to show you.  I wonder if you love me.  I wonder if I'll be with you again.  Love,