Dear Ileana, I just got done crying for a while.  My heart hurts so much.  You were like family to me, and I've lost you.  You were my best friend, and I've lost you.  When I envisioned my future, I saw you there with me, but it seems I've lost you.  I'm so sad.  I feel so hurt.  I think that, by this point, you've almost certainly kissed another guy or guys.  That hurts me deeply to think of that.  I think that it's even possible that you may have had sex with another guy or guys.  That thought kills me.  I still love you Ileana, so to think of you with anyone else hurts me and pierces me to my core.  Do you even know how I feel?  Do you not love me at all?  My life feels so empty without you.  I think of you every single day, yet you're not here.  This hurts so badly.  It doesn't seem fair.  Stefan left for Brazil and at some point in the few months he was there he found a girlfriend, who he brought back to Philly and he's still with, if I remember correctly.  That proves right there that his feelings for you were not true love.  And yet my instinct tells me that your feelings for him, even after all this time, are stronger than your feelings for me.  Yet I'm the one that cries for you, I haven't left you for anyone, my heart belongs to you, I've admitted my mistakes, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove my love to you.  But you turn your back to me and walk away from my true, sincere love.  Why?  You've never told me the real reason.  Why did you leave me?  I still love you Ileana and I will continue to love you, because love is not a switch to be turned on and off, and if its real, it will live on, despite any obstacles or challenges.  There is no force in the universe more powerful than love.  I love you Ileana for everything you are and I will, no matter what.  Love,