Dear Ileana, I love you with my whole heart and soul.  It's been 30 days since I last saw you face-to-face.  Only God knows how many more days until I see you again.  It's been tremendously difficult to be apart from you.  When I think back on our relationship, I wish it had been different.  Knowing how I feel today, I wish I had done things differently to avoid getting to this point.  I wish we could start all over.  And maybe that's the point of where we're at right now, to be apart for a while, so that we can start all over again in the future, but this time with the lessons learned from the first go-around.  But I know there are no guarantees.  And I really don't know how you feel today or how you'll feel in the future.  That's the hard part for me right now: not knowing if you think of me, not knowing if you miss me, not knowing if you love me.  This is fast becoming one of the most challenging periods of my life.  But I'm willing to take it on.  The only thing I have control over is learning my lessons, so I'm a better man as a result.  I want to be a better boyfriend to you.  I want to be a better man for me and for you.  I want to make you happy.  I want you to feel safe with me.  I want you to have fun with me.  I want you to trust me.  I want you to feel thrilled to be with me.  I want to make you laugh.  I want you to feel proud to be with me.  All those things can only happen if I feel good about myself, if I'm happy, and if I've learned from my mistakes.  All those things can only happen if I treat you like the most special woman in the world, as the beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman that you are, at all times every day.  I will do so, if it's God's will that we be together again some day.  My attraction to you was instantaneous, but my love for you took root over the entire course of our relationship.  I accept that that was God's will.  But now that my love is present I don't want to do anything, in word or in deed, to betray that love.  I simply will not.  I want to love you every day for the rest of my life.  Love,