Two Shooting Stars

Many moons ago our lives merged:
Like two shooting stars our orbits converged
For a while my hopes and happiness surged
believing that the beginning of my future had begun to emerge
but alas, it wasn't to be
for even the stars are subject to gravity
little did I know that I was being called by my destiny
to my next set of experiences in another galaxy
And so inevitably
our orbits have begun to diverge
in search of new love that each of us deserves
So now I bid you farewell and wish you the best
While our starlight shined brightly I truly was blessed

RE: Hello! [email to Cherise]

No worries about the photos; I'm sure you'll send some when you can.  I'm trying to find out who had the disposable camera at the end of the weekend so that I can get it developed and put on cd.  Then I can start sending some emails.

Thanks again for your positive words.  I've been feeling so happy lately; law school was very difficult for me on many different levels.  To have persevered really proved something to myself.  I feel like I've grown in some really important ways since I first went into it.

And to turn the focus on to you, I've learned a lot from your dedication to your dream to dance.  I really respect that a lot, because only so many people have the commitment to keep their eyes on the prize.  In that way, you're definitely a leader!

Anyway, my weekend was absolutely wonderful.  From the anticipation I had waking up on Thursday morning to getting back to Philly on Sunday afternoon, and everything in between from Philly to New York and back, it was just what I needed: to have fun, laugh, be crazy, drink a bunch of beers, listen to lots of great music of all types and in different places, spend quality time with my family, get crunk with my friends, and a couple of deep conversations with them too; it was all good.

But now it's time for me to slowly start to re-focus, because the big baby is coming in just a little over two months: the bar exam.  But I won't think about that too much just this minute.

Lastly, I haven't gotten any dates yet from Ronald.  But as soon as I do, I'll pass them on to you and let you know the prospects of me coming out there.  In the meantime, take care.  And be sure not to take for granted all the natural beauty that you get to see everyday.  These are the photographic memories that you'll hold for the rest of your life; treasure them!

Call me this Saturday if you have some spare time.  It will be nice to talk again.    Tighe

RE: Weekend [email to Pito]

yeah, from grad thru this wkend, i had a great time.  thanks for hanging out for a while after grad; that was a big part of what made me happy.  let's talk this wkend so i can tell you some stories from the wkend.  i'm about to get into bed here, since i'm still trying to recover from the non-stop of the wkend.  so i'll email you the dimensions tomorrow.  but i did in fact join the gym today and get in my first workout.  although i was tired, it felt really good to get back into the mix.  and cherise called me around 2am on thu night, when i was totally drunk in a cab, to congrat me on the grad.  we talked again on sat afternoon for about half an hour and it was a good convo.  alright have a good day tomorrow.  i'll email again.  peace.

grades + directions [email to Pito]

i just checked grades, and 3 out of the 4 classes are in.  i got a B in employment discrimination, the final exam i took last monday.  i got a B+ in advanced trial ad, the final trial that i did.  and i got an A in current issues in family law, which means the prof gave me a higher grade than she said she would.  it also means that's my best grade in law school.  the 3 grades put my semester gpa at 3.44, by far my highest ever.  of course, the grade i'm waiting for, the research paper in race & ethnicity, will bring that down.  but i'll enjoy this good news for now.

i'll see you on thursday.  mita told me that she wants you to call her to talk about driving on thu; she tried calling you a couple of times on sunday.  i figure if you guys arrive in philly at 2pm, we'll be good on time.

by the way, here's a recap of driving directions from medford: when you come off the ben franklin bridge, stay in the 2nd & 3rd lanes from the left-hand side, then go through the traffic light & intersection to get on to 676-West.  once you're on that, you'll recognize where you are => art museum exit is the 2nd one up ahead on the right-hand side.

see you on thu.

address? [email to Paul]

Just a reminder to send me your address when you get this.  Also want to reiterate that you're a great friend, and so I'm sorry when I heard that you were hurt by what Luz said.  There is an old saying, I think it's Buddhist: "when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear."  I have faith that it's the same way when you find the girl you're meant to be with.  In the meantime, we'll keep living and learning and trying to make progress towards our goals one day at a time.  And the goal next weekend will be having pure, don't-give-a-fuck-type fun.  Be good, brother, and thanks for everything.  Peace, Tighe

No subject [email to Paul]

yo, i got ur text msg.  i still have 3 days left, so let's not count our chickens until we're eating the chicken fingers.  so how was sat night?  i couldn't hear the voicemail too well, but i figure it was good shit when i heard girls squealing.  you'll have to tell me about it when we talk later this wk, prob wed night when i'm done.  thanks for all ur support, it seriously means a lot to me, and some of ur msgs even helped me through some tough days.  alright, back to the final stretch....

RE: Midnight Oil? [email to Pito]

My days here are definitely winding down.  I have a final exam in Employment Discrimination next Monday the 7th.  And next Wednesday the 9th is my last day to hand in my research paper for Race & Ethnicity.  So far, though, I've been doing a pretty good job of getting in several hours of work done during the day, so my nights are pretty much just dinner and watching tv before going to bed.

I've been working a lot on this research paper so that, even if my professor wants to exercise any personal bias against me, it can only go so far.  It's very well-researched.  Right now, it's 26 pages long single-spaced, and I'm in the pain in the ass process of whittling it down to 25 pages, double-spaced.  So I've got to delete at least 6 more pages before I can expand the spacing.  But the hard part is done since now I can just keep the best material.  I'm gonna use the weekend to study for the exam, so I'll come back to the paper again next Tuesday and Wednesday for a final fine-tuning.

The more I think about it, the more I'm really looking forward to the 17th.  By the way, they gave me only one free parking pass for that day.  Are you gonna drive right to the ceremony?  If so, then I'll give you the pass.  The ceremony begins at 6pm, but traffic will be on the heavy side, so keep that in mind if you do plan on driving straight there.  The other option is to park in Center City and meet me at my place.  I'll be leaving my place at around 4:30pm to catch a subway to get up to school for check-in at 5pm.  So let me know what your plans are.

Alright, back to "LA LUCHA"!!!

RE: Hello! [email to Cherise]

I'm busy writing my research paper for my Race & Ethnicity class.  I've already done the research, but I just started writing the paper today.  I had a heated argument with the professor about three weeks ago, so since then I've been a little bit concerned that she may try to fail me.  I told her that I hadn't met any of the deadlines over the course of the semester because that's not the way I operate.  I told her that this is my education so I'll do it my own way.  She was pretty pissed off at my comments.  The last day to hand-in the paper is May 9th.  The paper has to be 25 pages long, which is no problem for me.  I can write that in just 2 or 3 days.  So the real test for me is doing a top-notch job organizing it and editing it so that I don't give her any excuse to fail me.

I also have a final exam in Employment Discrimination on May 7th.  I'll need at least a couple of days to study for that, so it'll temporarily interrupt my focus on the paper.  I already had my final trial in Advanced Trial Advocacy, and I handed in my last serial paper for Current Issues in Family Law.  So I'm completely done with those two classes; it now leaves me just these other two courses to complete.  But as long as everything with the research paper and the final exam goes well, I'll be done on May 9th and then I'll graduate on May 17th.  I've let myself get a little bit excited about graduation (although not too much yet).  It makes me very happy just thinking about it though.

Besides all that, I want to let you know that I think about you every day.  Because of my focus on school, though, I haven't put too much thought into the viability of our relationship.  If you have any thoughts on that, then I have to ask you to hold your thoughts until after May 9th: I only have enough energy to focus on the paper and final exam until that date.

Anyway, I hope you're enjoying Victoria.  I'll be thinking about you.

mpre [email to Pito and Mita]

i took the mpre (multistate professional responsibility examination) at the end of spring break. passing it is a requirement to be admitted to the bar. the minimum score that i have to get for PA and NJ is 75. i just got my score, and it's a 101. so that's one less thing for me to worry about. it's a relief that i passed. i figured you guys would be happy to hear it.

call + trial [email to Pito]

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you should call Jessica some time.  I saw her yesterday when she and Mita came in to visit for Easter.  Jessica seems very aware that you haven't called her for over a month.  Although you didn't approve of her decisions recently, you shouldn't punish her by not communicating with her.  Everyone has to learn their lessons in life, so you've gotta let her do that in her own way even while still expressing your care and concerns.  Fortunately her latest episode seems to have resolved itself without any major consequences, other than Jessica feeling hurt.  But Jessica definitely seems hurt by the fact that you haven't called her; I could tell just from the look on her face.  Not calling her doesn't serve any good purpose, so you should call her soon.

My final trial with Mike for our advanced trial advocacy class is next Tuesday the 17th at 6pm at the Criminal Justice Center (right across the street from City Hall).  We are allowed to invite family and friends to either serve as a juror or simply to observe.  The trial should last about 3 hours, which I know is kinda late for you; but I wanted to invite you anyway.  If somehow you can come, then you'd have to let me know so I can tell the prof to give your name to security at the CJC.

Alright, talk to you later.  Peace out.

Email to Cherise

You totally broke me down emotionally. That was obvious last Sunday night when I was literally crying that I wanted to go home. If I hadn't drank any alcohol, then those feelings would probably have remained bottled up inside me; but they still would have been there. Drinking the alcohol only meant that I no longer had the self-control to keep those feelings within myself. But with or without the alcohol, the fact still remained: you totally broke me down emotionally.

So the question is: how did you break me down emotionally?

1) Over the course of three nights and three days, you never said one positive word toward me. Not one compliment. Not one nice thing. Not one thing to make me feel good about myself. You made me feel that I was worthless for you.

2) You very rarely showed any positive emotions to me through actions either. The only rare times that you tried to act nicely toward me was at nighttime when you tried to hug me. But by not having said one nice thing to me over the course of many hours during the day, I couldn't be sure that your actions were genuine. That is to say, I asked myself: is she trying to hug me because she really cares about me, or is she trying to hug me because she really wants to please herself by knowing she has someone that she can hug? In other words, I wasn't sure if your reasons for trying to hug me were caring for me or selfish for you.

3) You didn't make any positive material effort toward me. In other words, you didn't offer any kind of token of love or any gift as an apology for how you had treated me. So in the end, I didn't even have anything, like a handwritten note or a thoughtful gift, that I could look at as a reassurance of how you say you feel about me. I literally had nothing to hold on to to show me that you loved me.

4) When I got upset, you purposely antagonized me. You made fun of me. You looked at me like I was a freak. You criticized me. You made me even angrier. You made the whole situation worse. If you had cared about me, you would have tried to hear me out. You would've tried to calm me down. You would've given me a hug. You would've reassured me that you loved me. But instead you wouldn't even show me the respect of letting me finish a sentence. You wouldn't even let me speak. That makes me feel like what I have to say, how I feel, what I'm thinking, is not important to you, it doesn't matter to you, it isn't even worth two seconds of your time or your life. Your approach makes me feel like you think you're superior to me. If you don't show me any respect, much less love or caring, then you must be looking down at me. But if we aren't equals, then why are you with me?

We should end our relationship. My head tells me that we should end our relationship. And although my heart is very reluctant, it wants to end our relationship too. So the question is: why? Why do I think we should end our relationship?

1) As everything above clearly indicates, we cannot communicate. We have never been able to communicate with each other. You know just as well as I do that we have had only very rare moments where we were able to communicate with each other. Almost all of our communication has been superficial, just like any conversation we could have with a stranger off the street.

2) Any progress we have ever made with each other has been fleeting. Due to the pressures of law school and due to you almost always being apart from me, we cannot realistically grow closer. The few times we have grown is when I have felt relatively unpressured from school and when you have been here with me. But those times have been few and far between. Is that how a relationship is supposed to be? One step forward, then two or three steps back?

3) We must accept the fact that neither one of us is going to change the other. And so, since we have never been happy together, what makes us believe that that will ever change? If I wanted to, I could make a list now that you should be with someone that does A, B, and C, and I should be with someone who does D, E, and F. There's no point in doing that though, even though it's true. Each of us simply needs someone who is different than who we have now. As for me, I will only say that I desperately want to feel loved by someone. And I have only rarely felt that from you.

4) And that's the final point, what it all really boils down: I feel completely and utterly empty when I'm with you:

I feel like a man who has been walking a desert for many, many years, waiting for the day to drink more than a few drops of water at at time. Although I know that my parents love me, I was never told "I love you" as a child. Besides my birthday and Christmas, my parents never had money to buy me any gifts or take me out to dinner. After my early toddler years, I was never hugged and kissed. I never saw my parents hug and kiss each other. Because we were relatively poor for the town that we grew up in, there were never any other kids around; all of our classmates lived in the neighborhoods with two-story houses and backyards, while we lived in a two-bedroom apartment with no yard at all. That's almost certainly why Jess and I find it hard to make friends sometimes and why she is yet to find a boyfriend. Our childhood was cold and tough. Despite that, I've grown up to be a mature, well-rounded man. But I still crave for something that I never really had: Love, expressed openly and explicitly. And unfortunately, even with you I never got more than a few drops at a time. I pray to God for the day that I can drink a tall glass of love. Then I will be happy. Then I will know that I have met the woman that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. For reasons probably relating back to your childhood, you are cold. As much as I care for you, I can't be with someone who is cold. I've lived with that for too long, and I deserve better.

Last Sunday night I felt so alone. I missed my home so much. I missed Rocky and Moda. I missed Philadelphia, the only witness to my many tears over the years, and yet the city where I have grown up to be a man. Yesterday morning, I had to take the EL to get to the testing site to take the MPRE. A couple in their early twenties sat down two rows in front of me. They were lower-class, blue-collar, and they had a thick Philadelphia accent. They were talking with a friend of theirs sitting in the row directly in front of me. The boyfriend was telling the guy how he and his girlfriend had moved to Voorhees, a town in New Jersey, for a little while before coming back to Philly. He was telling the guy that he should never go to Voorhees. And as he and his girlfriend got up to walk out the subway in Fishtown, he told the guy, "There ain't nuttin' like Philly." When he said that, my heart fluttered. That's exactly how I felt when I was sitting in handcuffs, surrounded by cops, at LAX. And even though I knew you were sitting somewhere nearby, I hadn't felt so lonely in years.

Saw Los Amigos Invisibles at the Theatre of Living Arts (TLA) for $16.00 with Cherise.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning

I'm lying on my stomach while leaning on my elbows as I write this. I'm on top of the bed, all alone in the apartment. And that's what leads me to write this: loneliness. It's been difficult to sleep lately. When I go to bed every night, I'm suffocated by the silence and the darkness. So last night, a Friday night, I let Rocky and Moda stay in the room with me. Although their presence and activity caused its own problems in my sleep, I felt that I was not alone. And that part was nice. Cherise has been gone since the very beginning of May. Now it's two and a half months later. I wonder how many solitary nights that's been. I'm sure many people wouldn't feel sorry for me at all. That's fine. Even still, it does nothing to alleviate my utter feeling of solitude. I live in the fifth largest city in this country, and yet I feel like I'm all alone. I have more than a handful of acquiantances in the city, but that's all they are, acquiantances. I don't necessarily feel compelled to develop a friendship with them, despite my apparent need for companionship. I believe that's partly due to a lack of compatibility, in the ultimate analysis. When it comes down to it, they serve as the requisite contacts that all professionals (and others too, I'm sure) seem to need. Also, more importantly, I feel that my desire for companionship is meant to be with a woman. And so, Cherise's absence puts my in a difficult situation. I have maintained the position that her expected return in September will be a permanent return, meaning she won't leave again. But there is no guarantee to that. And so, once again, I'm waiting to see if reality will comply with expectations, or not. And that is precisely the problem: I am waiting. I have been relegated to a passive role; my life is on pause. The control over my present and my near-future is not in my hands; or so it seems. Well, I'm tired of writing now. And that means that it is time for bed. Only God knows whether I will fall asleep reasonably quickly or not. My final observation is that my loneliness has led me to pray and speak with God more often. For that, I must believe that everything happens for a reason. There must be a divine design.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning

I just got a phone call from Mita about an hour ago, right around 1 in the morning. She told me that Abuelo died earlier tonight, at about 9pm Costa Rica time. Apparently, he got sick around noon, so they took him to the hospital in Guapiles. But he wasn't seen until 7pm. The doctors said it was too late and he was too old to take him to San Jose. He died just two hours later. He was 94 years old. I'm gonna have to let this sink in. I said a prayer while looking at my favorite photo of me and him, a photo taken during my trip to CR two years ago; we each have an arm around the other's shoulder. I prayed to God that He accepts Abuelo into his home, so that Abuelo may find peace, love, and happiness. I hope God hears my prayer.

San Jose, Costa Rica -- afternoon

It's kind of an eerie feeling. It's almost as if time has stopped, at least temporarily, as oxymoronic as that is. I've been alone here in Tia Zahyra's house for about the past two hours. Besides the phone ringing just once, it has been a nearly uninterrupted stagnation.

Of course, as I write this though, Mita and Tia Zahyra are walking in the door. Mita is a little upset for some reason: either because Jessica may be alone this Christmas, or that Jessica is not with us here, or that Mita is not here with Jessica, any or all of the above. For better or for worse, I have to admit that I'm surprised; Mita seemed so wrapped up in being here, barely paying me any attention. I figured that everything left in the United States was for the most part out of sight, out of mind.

But when I think about it, I believe Mita's putting on something of a front, for the purpose of convincing herself that Costa Rica is better than the United States in every possible way. But under that surface, there are apparently deeper currents. I remember being depressed when I spent Christmas here in Costa Rica two years ago. It was very difficult to be apart from my close family and friends for Christmas, and it made it even more difficult to be in a warm climate for the holidays. I felt like a stranger in a strange land. It's not a good feeling.

I hope for Jessica's sake that Pito is spending Christmas with her. So far I've been pretty stoic about the holidays this time around. Perhaps I'm putting up my defenses after my experience two years ago. Or maybe it's easier because Mita is here. I don't think it's really the latter, but I could be wrong. Or maybe it's the difference that in only 8 days Cherise will be here. I think that makes a huge difference; to look forward to something in the short-term.

Well, I should have some coffee and socialize now that there's some life here, some reassurance of time and reality.

San Jose, Costa Rica -- afternoon

I really shouldn't be surprised, but I'm sick. It's such a pain in the ass that - it seems - every time I come to Costa Rica, I get sick. And this time I took precautions like washing my hand frequently and getting to bed early while sleeping-in in the morning. I think I would have been fine if not for the fact that Yorlen was sick on the day we got here. Then, a couple days later, with Yorlen still sick, Mita got sick too. Mita's defenses were definitely down since she didn't sleep for two nights prior to getting here, and she was barely sleeping when we got here. So I guess just being around two sick people, and since the bacteria/viruses here are different than those in the States, I also inevitably got sick. I had a terrible fever last night, sweating so much in bed that my body was stuck to the sheets. Talk about a shitty feeling, feeling trapped like that.

Today I also feel like shit, but I think its already breaking up since I've got a lot of mucus coming out of my nose, and I have that gut feeling that I really am getting better, despite - or perhaps because of - the symptoms. So on account of my sickness, I've done nothing but hang around Zahyra's house. The only thing to speak of is that yesterday morning Yorlen and I went to the Mercado Central in San Jose to buy a bunch of vegetables and other ingredients for her to make tamales navidenos. I went along to keep her company and to help her carry the ton of stuff we picked up. It was towards the end of that outting that I really started feeling sick and weak. I paid for a taxi, which was less than $3, and since then I've been holed up here like a hermit.

Mita is having a blast here. She seems to be the happiest I've seen her in a long while. Even now that she's here she continues to talk about buying property here in Costa Rica. And it seems like every five minutes she's making a comparison with the United States, where of course Costa Rica is better, or else she'll just make a general, disparaging comment about some aspect of life in the United States. I think half the time she's exaggerating, but I don't say anything.

She changed her mind, though, about wanting to live in Alajuela once she saw how steep the roads are there. Then when I told her that she would have to learn to drive stick if she lived in Alajuela, she gave up the idea. But even despite an obstacle like that, I think she's better off living down here. In the U.S., I live only half-an-hour from her, and there's no way for her to visit me unless Jessica picks her up. And that's not a realistic option any more now that Jess lives two hours north of Mita. I just get the impression that Mita's condition would be much subdued here in Costa Rica. Even though she's seemingly between a rock and a hard place, I think the choice - although difficult - is obvious. But I've gotta try not to say anything; Mita's a grown woman who has to make her own decisions.

In the meantime, I'm gonna take a backseat on this trip. Everyone is excited to see Mita, so I'll just come along for the ride.

San Jose, Costa Rica -- evening

Here I am, once again in Costa Rica. Back where this journal began. I guess maybe that's how life operates: in cycles. The biggest difference, I suppose, is that I'm two years older. Of course I don't really know if I feel like I'm 27 years old as compared to 25 years old. But then again, when I came last time, I was drinking a shitload of alcohol. Life was a party for me then. Anything that happened in between drinking sessions was simply an intermission. Now I've become greatly accustomed to not drinking at all, or at least drinking very infrequently. Every once in a blue moon, I get the itch to drink my ass off, but I think that's okay as long as it really is once in a blue moon. I drank a bunch of Concha y Toro red wine last night; it gave me just enough of a kick. It was just what the doctor ordered and gave Tia Zahyra's crazy comments an extra dimension.

However, it seems that even if I wanted to go out, it really wouldn't be happening. That's because Carlos is working from 10am to 10pm, 7 days per week. That leaves him with no time and even less energy to hit the town. I don't even expect to see him until the reunion on the 25th.

A second difference from my last visit is perhaps just as important as the first. That is, I'm here with Mita this time, whereas I was alone last time. In other words, last trip was mine, this trip is hers. Of course, my disposition resents any type of impediment on my independence. For better or for worse, I've resigned myself to keeping my mouth shut and just going with the flow. Only when I'm in a one-on-one situation do I really engage in conversation. That'll likely be the status quo until Cherise arrives here on January 1st. I'll keep my spending to a bare minimum until then, then we'll blow it out for 6 days, 5 nights.

Being here has already helped me to appreciate the relationship. I'll be really happy to see Cherise on the 1st. But for now, I'll hold off on that aside.

To continue on the second point above, I also has much less time here and much less money. For all intents and purposes, that means I'm basically attached to Mita, at least until Cherise gets here. Its tough, too, because I can only take so much of Mita at a time. She never seems to be paying attention to what she's doing, it seems to me that she sometimes puts on a 'clueless' act for whatever reason, and she's constantly trying to put on a comedy show. I guess she's having fun, and that's great. But I can only take so much.

Enough about that, though. The reality is that this trip will be different. Besides seeing family and getting some time in a comfortable climate, this trip is a much-needed break from Temple Law, which sucks most of my energy, and not even because of the studies. The social atmosphere at Temple is still so repressive to me that it drains me sometimes. I began to feel a tiny bit more comfortable at the end of the semester. Nevertheless, I definitely needed a break. I have to make a concerted effort to keep up with my work, especially early in the semester, and set an early standard of class participation, albeit at a moderate level. I need to be more assertive at the outset. I think that will make me more accessible to my classmates. And my confidence will feed off of both the cause and the effects.

For now, though, I'll try to chill out down here. Law school has only crossed my mind a couple of times, and only to give me appreciation of my temporary repose. So despite any difficulties (e.g. American Airlines losing our luggage for one day) and annoyances, this trip is just what I needed.

In the short-term, I'm looking forward to the 25th to see more family. Then I'll look forward to what will hopefully be a good 31st. Then, of course, I'll really be excited to see Cherise. Of course I'm already looking forward to seeing her.

And finally, to review really quickly, today we drove all the way into the mountains of Alajuela, near Volcan Poas, to pick-up Tia Tere, then drive back to the town-center of Alajuela. I should say that I drove the whole day. For what it was worth, it felt good to actually be in control of something. And I got to see much of the countryside.

Alright, I'll write again soon, probably tomorrow, since writing gives me a chance to be left alone to my own thoughts and reflections. This and reading allow me my only real methods of enjoying the independence that I normally enjoy back home.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night

It's been over two months since I last wrote, but I've thought often of writing. So much seems to have happened in the last two months.

First and foremost, I started law school and now I'm in full-swing with less than two months until my last exam for the semester. The experience has been a challenging one. Despite the difficulties - or perhaps because of them - I am very grateful. I can say that my dream to be a student at Temple Law has materialized, although the day-to-day doesn't seem or feel like a dream. I occasionally remind myself of why I wanted to do this: to help other people. It seems like most of the time that I dislike my five classes, although there are occasional moments of interest and even rarer moments of pleasure.

But I believe that moving consciously and intentionally in the direction of one's dreams is one of the two purposes of life. In that respect, I have to believe I'm succeeding. The second purpose of life is complementary to the first. Each positively effects the other. From my present perspective, then, I am lagging a bit in the second: one must face one's fears and, quite similarly, move consciously and intentionally to overcome them. For reasons that are somewhat vague to me, I have feared speaking in front of my class. Being conscious of this, it sometimes effects my interactions with my classmates individually, although I feel that this is improving. I hope that the positive movement of the first purpose continues to strengthen me in my desire to achieve the second purpose, whether little-by-little or by leaps and bounds.

Law school has been difficult for other reasons. It has been a constant, daily struggle to keep up with the large amount of reading, and more difficult, the comprehension and retention of that reading. After ordering a notebook computer at the end of August, I finally got it in mid-September. It has helped me tremendously to get organized. Nevertheless, the struggle continues.

Another difficulty has been my schedule's effect on my relationship with Cherise. Since I am so busy from Monday through Friday, and even to a degree on Saturday and Sunday, it has left me with little time to do anything else. The little time I do have remaining, I usually choose to just resting and relaxing. At times, this has put a strain of the relationship. Cherise has a lot of free time, so she naturally gets bored sometimes. It is at times like these that she misses my companionship. There have been times where I have made compromises (not always smart), but they have been admittedly few. The pressure of school just seems to be something always on my mind, with very infrequent repose.

A related issue is my occasional envy of Cherise's schedule, especially when she isn't here, but she's out having fun. I miss that very much. But realistically, now that Corey is gone to Armenia, I think it would be difficult to recreate my early days in Philadelphia. So maybe its better that I'm in school, to use that as a weak justification - or convenient excuse.

My short-term light at the end of the tunnel is a trip to Costa Rica this December. If time permits, I want to see the Panama Canal. I'm very hopeful that it's the type of escapist experience that I'll be likely to need at the end of the semester. To relieve stress, to be able to breathe fresh air, to be able to enjoy warm weather, to be able to party and have fun, to be able to travel on new roads to new places, to love life - these are my hopes and aspirations.

And my long-term light at the end of the tunnel, of course, is to obtain a position as a result of my legal education to help other people in a positive, tangible way. Well, as mentioned I'm very busy these days, so I don't know when I'll write again. Maybe next time I'll be on a beach in Central America.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning

Simultaneously a lot has happened while not much has happened since the last entry. But I won't get into that now.

Just now I was lying in bed with Cherise lying next to me. As usual, I let my mind roam free; this sometimes leads me to interesting thoughts although it also sometimes leads me to dwell on other subjects better left alone. Tonight was no different and my mind was lead to thoughts and memories of my first meeting with Cherise, the night when she first walked into the door to the apartment here at 2124 Spruce. There were two main thoughts that materialized.

The first was a funny one: Cherise and her half-sister, Myesha, were either too scared or too uncomfortable to do anything but remain standing near the front door to the apartment. In fact, they didn't move the whole time we were here before going out that night. Of course, the irony is that Cherise now lives and sleeps here. She is just as comfortable now as I am to be here.

The second general thought that came to my head was not as light. In remembering that night it would seem to validate the idea of love at first sight: we saw each other immediately, our eyes met, we began a one-on-one conversation in my bedroom, we went out dancing, she grabbed my hand to go out on the dancefloor, we began kissing during the second song, and the night continued with dancing, kissing, and hand-holding until we exchanged numbers and said "good night."

Unfortunately, the set-up for love at first sight may not hold up since another, later weekend seems to disprove that possibility. I think it was either two or three weekends later that I invited Cherise to come with me to New York City. We held hands during most of the car ride there. When Paul and Corey went out to get food, Cherise came out of the shower to kiss me and massage me. When we all went out, Cherise was only with me for less than an hour before she left me for the night. I didn't see her again during that trip to New York; she didn't come back with Corey and me to Philadelphia. I found out later that she had sex with her ex-boyfriend in Brooklyn that night. Despite the complexities of it, that act basically opened the door to my decision to have sex with Tyette in Baltimore after Evan's wedding. Maybe each of us needed to sow our wild oats one last time before settling into a relationship. But the whole story makes it difficult to call our initial meeting 'love at first sight.'

Vatican City -- morning

I'm sitting in the shade on the cobblestone leaning back against a wall facing St. Peter's Basilica. It's almost noontime so it's starting to heat up. But right now it's not so bad in the shade.

We've been in Rome since Sunday morning (today is Wednesday), but we haven't done much for a couple of reasons. First, it gets so hot in the afternoons that it is just too difficult to do anything outside. That clearly effects sightseeing.

Second, I have been sick since writing the last entry, since last Thursday in Granada. Last Friday, I had diarrhea and vomiting one after the other, on top of a 39* Celsius fever. So I felt I had no choice but to be safe and go to the hospital. They prescribed me antibiotics and it has taken until today to have a bowel movement that could be called reasonably close to normal. But as a result of the long sickness, I have lost weight, and hence strength. That also made any sightseeing a practical impossibility.

Lastly, the whole ordeal has forced me to end the trip prematurely, as Cherise and I are flying out of Rome Ciampino first thing tomorrow morning to arrive in London with the hopes of coming off the waitlist for Air India to fly back to New York. We shall see.

Over the past few nights, we have done some walking, though, seeing the Colosseum and the impressive Vittoriale by night. We also saw the Roman Forum and many other similar ruins right in the center of the city. Most of the streets in Rome are cobblestone, adding to the feeling of history and antiquity. Well, it's high noon, the bells having just rung, so I think we'll go inside now to tour the Basilica.

Granada, Spain -- night

I sit now by a fountain just down the hill from the Alhambra. The air is pleasant, now that the sun has set after a hot, dry day.

Before writing this entry, I looked back in this journal to realize that it was a little over a year ago that I was in Granada, Nicaragua, the other Granada on the other side of the Atlantic.

It's really peaceful here now, with the sound of water flowing gently behind me. This is exactly what I need right now after a tiring day. Cherise and I got up early, after a late night last night, to walk with backpacks to the Gran Via of Madrid to pick-up the rental car. Unfortunately, it took us a while to locate the place to pick-up the car. Once we got going, it was already 9:30 a.m. Four and a half hours later and we were eating lunch at a diner on the outskirts of Granada.

As an aside, in case I didn't mention earlier, we decided to rent a car to meet our transportation needs for the rest of the trip in Spain, first for financial reasons as a rental car is actually cheaper, and second, to avoid another mess like the one in the bus station at Barcelona.

So getting back to today, we drove into the city after leaving the diner. We stopped and parked near a small building that was marked as tourist information. When we arrived, though, we realized it was closed for siesta. But as luck would have it, there was a young man sitting at a bus stop across the street from the closed tourist building. We approached him and asked for directions to the area of hostels. Since he was waiting for a bus to go into town, he offerred to come with us to give directions into the city. He was very nice and helped us with a brief tour of the city. When we parted ways in the center of town, he invited us to his bocadilleria, called Piccadilly Circus.

Cherise and I drove back on to la Gran Via of Granada, parked, and compared four different hostels to eventually choose one for 25 euros total per night, with parking included. After checking in and dropping off our backpacks, we walked down into town. We stopped in a few souvenir shops, then saw a double-decker sightseeing bus. Since we were both tired, we decided this would be a good option to see the city. Towards the end of the tour, I began to feel really exhausted. After a night of little sleep then driving for nearly five hours, I needed a nap. We went back to the room and slept for almost three hours, longer than we expected.

We left to go out at about 10 p.m., dinner time. We walked back on to the street behind the hostel and randomly I saw a sign for Piccadilly Circus. Of course we went in and we saw our friend Mohammed, who hooked us up with a falafel for Cherise and a shawarma de pollo for me. It was so coincidental. The food was great and Mohammed was once again very nice. I ordered another shawarma for the road, we walked back to the Gran Via to catch a mini-bus up to the Alhambra and here we are. And here I am writing, finishing this entry.

Madrid, Spain -- early morning

This is my second night in Madrid. And in a matter of hours, we'll be leaving Hostal Prado to pick-up a rental car to drive to Granada.

Madrid has been a tale of two cities: one very bright and sunny but less lively during the day and pleasant and livelier almost rowdy by night. As far as Madrid goes during the day, it is not a world-class city like London, Paris, and Barcelona have been. There are no major monuments and it seems as if there is little to do during the day except walk around and get a feel for the city; which isn't such a bad thing except for my shins.

Despite the overall dullness, last night was surprisingly one of the best, if not the best night of this trip. We came upon a restaurant just a few blocks from the Plaza de Espana where there was a great deal of the common 'menu del dia' for only 7.50 euros. We went in and we were the only patrons, which was great since we sat right up at the bar and got great service and good conversation from the owner and cook, Ricardo. The food was delicious, from a Russian salad to a main dish of Iberian ham cooked with mushrooms and cognac (or perhaps it was white wine). Also included was a glass of red wine. The meal was excellent, and for a very reasonable price. Ricardo and I got into a conversation about music, football (soccer), and the history of Spain.

Immediately afterwards, we rushed to a flamenco performance at Las Tablas restaurant right off of the Plaza de Espana. There were two guitarists, two singers, and three dancers, and the crowd was only about twenty. It was a very cozy environment, with a complimentary glass of red wine. The music and dancing was very entertaining, due especially to the fact that all the performers had a lot of great energy. By the time we walked back to the hostel, it was after one in the morning.

Earlier in the day, we arrived in Madrid after an enormous mess at the bus station in Barcelona the night before. We somehow missed our bus that was to go direct to Madrid, so we had to argue to get onto a later bus to Zaragoza, where we again argued (or more accurately, had a Spaniard aruge on our behalf) to get on the only two empty seats on a bus to Madrid. The whole system at the bus station in Barcelona was a chaotic mess. After the whole fiasco though, and a long bus ride through the arid north of Spain, we arrived bright and early in Madrid yesterday.

We undertook an arduous walk across much of Madrid to eventually locate the area where I had researched there would be hostels. We found the area and visited three other hostels before finding Hostal Prado at a reasonable price of 28 euros total per night. The owner, Pepe, was very nice, and has been nice our entire stay here.

After checking in, we walked our own tour of Madrid, seeing la Puerta del Sol, Plaza Mayor, Palacio Real, and la Plaza de Espana, which I already mentioned. We took a walk through el Palacio Real, which was very regally decorated, the throne Room being the most outstanding.

Earlier today, after sleeping in very late, then dealing with changing our flight tickets with Air India, we walked to el Parque del Retiro, which was serene and beautiful. There we saw el Angel Caido and el Palacio de Cristal, with a small lake of fish, ducks, turtles, and pigeons. Unfortunately there were no signs for la Plaza de Costa Rica, which I wanted a photo of.

Alright, I've gotta get up early tomorrow morning, so time now for lights out. I'm excited to move on from Madrid to Granada and the south of Spain.

Barcelona, Spain -- early morning

I'm actually writing this in the afternoon, despite the caption. Cherise and I distracted each other last night before I had the chance to write.

Now I'm sitting on a beach just ten meters from the water of the Mediterranean Sea. We arrived on a flight from Beauvais, France to Girona, Spain yesterday morning at about 10:30 a.m. We then took an hour-long bus ride to Barcelona. We began walking in the direction of the main plaza, Place de Catalunya, in order to get our bearings to find a hostel that had been propagandized to us by a Honduran woman waiting at the bus stop. Along the way, however, we found the hostel that we've ended up staying at, for 20 euros each per night.

Before getting there, we saw the Arc de Triomf, Barcelona's version of Paris' momument of the same name. After checking in to our room, we took the rest of the afternoon to explore the downtown, old section of Barcelona. We did a lot of walking, and I absolutely loved the city of Barcelona. We walked down the main street, Las Ramblas, where we saw what looked at first to be a statue of Che. But then it started moving, so I realized it was a man who bore a very striking resemblance to Che. It was crazy. After a little coercion from Cherise, I got a photo with him.

We continued walking throughout the stone streets of old Barcelona. The buildings around us were all about five stories, with balconies. Each balcony had plants or clotheslines. The streets were arranged in a random fashion, so the whole thing was a maze. It was also nice to see that the streets were so clean. Each street had various shops and cafes, and restaurants.

The climate is warm enough here that there are many palm trees. Last night, after so much walking, not only yesterday but since arriving in Europe, we decided to see a movie. It was a great relief to get off our feet and just be entertained for a couple of hours. For the same reasons, it is good to be at the beach today. But getting back to the movie, we saw the third installment of Harry Potter. The movie was broadcast in Spanish, without any subtitles. Since Cherise effectively knows no Spanish, I had to whisper to her at key moments throughout the whole movie.

After the movie, we walked around for a while looking for a decent place to eat dinner. We finally settled on a restaurant on Las Ramblas, where I ate a paella de pollo. Tonight, I'll try the more typical paella de mariscos. We ate dinner after midnight. So it isn't a surprise that we slept in this morning. When we got up, we started our long walk to eventually arrive here at Playa Bogatell. So far, I love Barcelona. I could live here if I got an opportunity, or make one.

As for Paris, which I really didn't write about due to our non-stop schedule there, it was good to see and good to visit. While there, I went to the very top of the Eiffel Tower, where I used their bathroom to take a piss. We also went to the Louvre, where we saw the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo. We walked underground to see the six million bones of Les Catacombes. We saw the Notre Dame, which was so intricate in its architecture and very beautiful in appearance. We walked along the River Seine. We ate a lot of good bread and sat for hours at several sidewalk cafes. The coffee there was very strong, as a "cafe" is really a cafe espresso. We also walked along the Canal St. Martin, which was very nice too. Similarly we walked the Champs Elysses to the end, the Arc de Triomphe. Two nights, we went to the Bastille, which is a very hip area for restaurants and bars.

All in all, Paris was beautiful for its sights. But the French language was difficult, and so it frustrated me to be unable to effectively communicate. Paris also surprised me for not being very clean and for its citizens' bland style of clothing. In fact, the Metro stops reminded me of the Philadelphia subway, not so impressive.

Well, I done a lot of writing in trying to catch up. And now the sun is starting to go down. If I want to take another dip in the Mediterranean, I've got to do it now.

Paris, France -- morning

Well, things don't always go according to plan. Cherise and I have a room together at Mary's Hotel in Paris. The hotel has begun renovations, and we're in a newly-renovated room. The rate is 50 euros per night. Cherise's mother, brother, and sister have a room next door.

We arrived in Paris early yesterday morning. The bus didn't even stop at a station or terminal; it just dropped us off on the side of the road. We referred to a map on a nearby board that listed over a hundred hotels in the area, each classed by price range. In an attempt to locate the closest cheap hotel, we stumbled upon a hostel, whose owner was sleeping on a cot inside the window. We walked in and someone woke him up. He said he was full but recommended another hotel to us: Mary's Hotel. We told him we preferred to walk the twenty minutes. Unfortunately, as we found out twenty minutes later, he had sent us in the opposite direction. I really don't think this was malicious in any way. To get back on the right course, we got on the Metro to arrive in the vicinity of the hotel. From there, we navigated the haphazard streets of Paris to eventually arrive and reserve our rooms at about 10:00 a.m.

London, England -- night

I just realized in answering a question that Cherise just asked me that I have been giving a standard response that I don't care. More specifically, Cherise asked me if I was excited to be going to Paris. As I write this, I'm sitting on a bus that will take me to Paris. I said that I don't care. Reflecting on my response, I realize that I say this because I won't be sharing my experiences with anyone. This really saddens me. All of my photos have been of major sites, but I haven't been in any of those photos. They're basically postcards. I have nothing to show that I was actually here in London. I hope that Paris is different. I have to risk going off on my own in Paris. It'll be more money, but its worth my happiness and independence.

London, England -- afternoon

Things seem to be coming to a head with Cherise and me. Since arriving in London, I have been very aloof from Cherise and her family. Cherise told me that her family has noticed, as I'm not surprised.

In the weeks leading up to our trip, and especially since we've been here, I realize in high definition that most of who Cherise is and what she does actually irritates me. Very simply, we are not compatible. I think what has kept us together this long is out opposite schedules, and so the fact that we see each other for only short periods of time, and our physical-sexual attraction for each other, which undoubtedly exists.

Unfortunately, it has become apparent to me that Cherise has little to no interest in anything historical or political, which are my two main areas of interest. Conversely, I have little to no interest in the world of musical productions, which is Cherise's main area of interest. Last night's viewing of Chicago solidified that belief.

Also, Cherise's sense of humor really irritates me. She likes to do dramatic impersonations of the people around her. The dramatic way in which she does them really annoys me. Conversely, Cherise has told me that she doesn't appreciate my sometimes sarcastic sense of humor.

Cherise just came with our flight information from Paris to Barcelona, and she wants me to get the flight information from Barcelona to Rome. I should really write this out, think out this whole situation. I'll come back to this very soon.

London, England -- afternoon

So here I am, another day. Look's like we're getting a late start. I really can't control when we leave since I'm following the group. I actually woke up much earlier today, but no one was awake, so I decided to just fall asleep.

Cherise's mother just came back to the room with bus tickets to Paris. We'll be leaving later tonight. Right now, I have no idea what we're doing today. Although I have a few ideas, I'll just follow along with everyone else. We'll have to carry our backpacks today since we'll have to check-out of the hotel in just a little bit.

The weather here has been cool, windy, and sometimes rainy. The very stereotype of London. Paris will be a change of temperature, as well as culture, language, and environment. I'm looking forward to the change, as much as I'd like to do some exploring of my own in London. As with any world-class city, I'm sure there's so much more to see. At least I can say that I saw all of the major sites in London.

The one thing that I need to figure out is how to reimburse Cherise's mother for the bus ticket, which was L32. All I have left is about L17. And I don't want to change one of my traveller's checks for pounds when we'll be leaving England in less than twelve hours. I'll just give her what I have, then give her some euros when we get to Paris and I can change a traveller's check for euros.

I'll make some brief reflections of London now while I have a chance. London is a very clean city despite having very few trash cans in public. The architecture is very noticeably Old World, very intricate, very beautiful. The city reminds me of Philly in that it is a generally flat city, that is very few high-rises. The difference is that all of Philly's high-rises are concentrated in center-city, whereas here in London they are dispersed. The tube is easy to understand and easy to use. It is also very clean and user-friendly, unlike the subways of New York and Philly. The tube rides very smoothly. I only saw two mice in the tube here, and they were much smaller than those in New York. All in all, London has been great. I wouldn't mind living here if I could deal with the weather. But now time for Paris.

London, England -- early morning

Today was a stereotypical day in London: rainy. Fortunately, though, it didn't rain all day.

We started the day by seeing the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. Afterwards, we walked to the Houses of Parliament, and stood in line for about forty-five minutes in the rain to get into the House of Lords. But we couldn't get in, so I just got really wet. Then, we walked past another long line for Westminster Abbey, which was a very impressive structure.

Before I forget, I have to rewind. Immediately after leaving Buckingham Palace, we crossed over the River Thames to look at what I think is called the London Eye, a very-tall ferris wheel. It looked impressive, but it was too expensive to be worth going onto.

Fast-forwarding back to Westminster Abbey, we waited out the rain, then walked through Swiss Court and over to Piccadilly Circus. Cherise's family went into a lot of stores, but each time I waited outside and watched people walk by. Piccadilly Circus reminded me of a much smaller version of Times Square, New York. We also went into the London Trocadero, which is actually a mall, and so nothing like the Troc in Philly.

After a few hours of that, we took the tube back to the hotel to rest for a couple of hours. I actually took a nap, which was much-needed.

After the rest, we rode back to Strand Street to watch a production of Chicago. This experience solidified my belief that I do not like musicals.

I'm going to wrap this up now since it's late and time to wind down to sleep. If I have time to write in the morning, I should mention that Cherise got really angry at my apathy toward her, and by proxy, her family. I can explain my reaction and the rest of the day.

London, England -- morning

As I expected, I am able to write this morning. This is good because I'm taking advantage of the free time. This is also good because I can keep my interaction to a minimum. In this way, I can keep to myself.

Now, as I see looking back to yesterday's entry, I had walked across the Tower Bridge. We crossed to the other side of the Thames to try going to the Globe Theater. It took a little bit of walking (including passing a long line for the London Dungeon) before we eventually arrived at the Globe. Although most museums in London are free, this was another site that had an entrance fee. So we only went into the gift store.

At that point, I went off on my own, being told that Cherise's mother and sister would actually go into the Globe (I found out later that they didn't actually go in). I walked along the Thames and then went up a path leading away from the river to find a bench with a rubber covering. I took the opportunity to lie down and relax. Finally I had a chance to be alone. The sun was out at first so it felt very good. But then the winds became blustery, and I even started getting cold. I think this probably has something to do with the fact that I'm eating very little, in an attempt to keep expenses down in this very expensive city. The dollar-pound exchange rate is horrible, being nearly two to one. I'm sure I'm already losing weight. But I'm not complaining since I expected as much.

Right now, I'm sitting in front of a mirror. My hair is buzzed, slightly shorter on the sides and the back. My eyes look tired and a little red. My facial hair is growing out to stubble right now, and I'll let it keep growing. My mouth seems smaller than usual. All in all, I don't look too happy. The reason for this is that I am almost constantly irritated by Cherise. Her sense of humor consists of impersonations, not the celebrity kind, but just re-enacting, in an exaggerated sort of way, someone else's behavior. I find it really quite annoying. When I speak, she doesn't seem to listen or pay attention over half the time. She doesn't seem to have any sense of appreciation for the historical, becoming animated only when we got to Oxford Circus, the main shopping district in London. She initiates very little conversation with me, unless she wants to try to hold my hand. But by that point, I don't want to have anything to do with her. I'm not going to hold hands with someone who doesn't talk with me most of the time. And I believe the reason we don't talk is because our interests are so divergent. We just don't appreciate the same things and so there a not many common topics of conversation. For example, if I try to give a historical background of something, she just nods her head then immediately moves on to the next thought. I realize very clearly in this type of situation that Cherise is not really a friend. She's a good person, but I'm beginning to realize that we are not compatible.

And this, as I wrote briefly yesterday, puts me in a very uncomfortable position to be with her and her family. I'm not one to put on a front. Since I'm not happy with Cherise, I'm not going to pretend to be happy to be with her. I'm absolutely certain that her family is aware of this since I barely talk at all to anyone unless I'm spoken to first, I'm not holding Cherise's hand, I'm not walking next to her, I'm not laughing with her, and I'm not having much of any kind of contact or interaction with her. Now it seems that everyone is coming along to Paris this Sunday. This only reinforces my anticipation of arriving in Spain. Although I will focus on my surroundings and enjoying the reality of being in London and Paris, I think I will consider my trip really beginning once I get to Spain. It will be the type of trip I want: sleeping in hostels not on the floor of a nice hotel, having independence in exploring a city, being happy and smiling. For now, I'll bide my time. I'll be as civil as possible, even though I won't put on any fronts. As much as possible, I'll remain in the shadows. Nevertheless, I look forward to getting out of this hotel room and seeing more of London. I came here to see this part of the world.

London, England -- night

Today was simultaneously good and bad. The good part was that I saw many of London's well-known sites. The bad part was that I was not happy to be with Cherise.

I may not have much time to write now since I'm sleeping on the floor in Cherise's family's hotel room, and they are now getting ready for bed.

First thing this morning, I was ready to leave on my own, but then Cherise got angry at that proposal. So, in order to show respect to her and her family, I decided to stay with her and her family. Although I ended up doing most of what I would have liked to have done, I would have preferred to be alone. That way Cherise could have spent time with her family without me, and I wouldn't have to deal with her in any way.

As for the sites, I saw the Monument, a 202 foot obelisk memorializing the Great Fire of 1666. Later, I actually climbed to the top, where I got a great photo of the Tower Bridge. From about 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m., we took one of the London walks, which led us through the narrow lanes (e.g. Pudding Lane, Lovat Lane) of old central London. We also saw the site of where the Great Fire began and the site of London's first-ever coffee-house. The tour ended at St. Paul's Cathedral, which is one of the tallest buildings in the city. Many business-people were eating their lunches on the grounds of the Cathedral when we arrived there. The end of our walk went through what seemed to be London's business/financial district. Most men were wearing really nice shirts and suits. Also during the tour, we went to the Guildhall, which is the center of London city government. For some reason, we couldn't go inside.

After the tour, we walked over to the Tower of London, which we decided not to enter since it was a bit expensive. From the outside, however, it looked impressive. It was a castle with a moat (sans water) around the perimeter, tall colonnades, and several drawbridges. It seemed to be a large complex, covering a lot of area. Adjacent to the Tower of London was the Tower Bridge, which we walked across.

Since everyone is now going to bed, I'll stop writing. I saw many other sites, and I want to write too of the negative aspects of the day to sort through the causes and effects. I'll do some writing tomorrow morning when everyone is getting ready. Now it's time to sleep on the floor, and escape to my dreams, where I'll be happy.

London, England -- early morning

I arrived in London earlier today at about 7:30 a.m. local time. Cherise and I made the flight from JFK in New York. I've been exhausted for most of the day, especially after a brief visit to the British Museum. It didn't help that we arrived on a day when the Tube was shut down due to a strike. Fortunately, its set to re-open tomorrow.

I'm not going to write too much now. I want some time to just relax, think, and develop a plan for tomorrow. I want to get an early start, and I'm not sure to what extent I'll be with Cherise's family. I prefer to have my independence and freedom, but I have to spend some time with Cherise's family. I need to find the most delicate balance to show respect, while maintaining a great degree of autonomy to enjoy my choices.

Reflection, Gratitude, and Anticipation

Friday, June 25, 2004 is my last day as a Legal Services paralegal. Later this summer, I will begin my next challenge as a law student at Temple University, Beasley School of Law.

Since I began this term of service on February 5, 2001 (minus a four-month hiatus in early 2003 for a trip to visit family in Costa Rica), I have met with 1700 clients. That is 1700 low-income, economically-disadvantaged men and women of Philadelphia. They come from all backgrounds: Americans of African or European or Asian or Latino descent; immigrants from all parts of the world, including Asia, Africa, Eastern Europe, Latin America and the Middle East. Although the great majority spoke English (or perhaps the Philadelphia version of it), I used interpreters to communicate with other clients in French, Creole, Amharic, Arabic, Vietnamese, Polish, Russian, Thai, and other languages. I even met with a couple of deaf clients who needed a Sign interpreter to communicate.

Through my position at Philadelphia Legal Assistance (PLA), I was able to directly experience the beauty of our country: the diversity of languages, cultures, ethnicities, and even different Philadelphia neighborhoods, and all the pride that comes along with each of those "ingredients." If we lined up all of my clients, we would see a reflection of the polychromatic world we live in, made up of men and women each striving for a better life for themselves and their children.

Many times, people focus so much on another's socioeconomic status that they jump to automatic conclusions about the values and personality of the other person. That error in logic applies in both directions, as much from low-income to upper-income as from upper-income to low-income. Aside from my primary professional responsibility to give quality legal advice and assistance, it was this human tendency to judge others that I intended to combat through daily direct interaction with the low-income people of Philadelphia. How often does a poor man or poor woman of Latino or African-American descent (those two demographics are the majority of the clients that come to our office) meet for a one-on-one conversation in a closed room with a "white, tie-wearing guy from the suburbs" (all political correctness and my actual background aside)?

There are two themes that guided my work, and will continue to guide me through life, regardless of time, place or surroundings. Each one can be embodied in a quote.

First, throughout my term at PLA I kept a quote posted on the file folder on top of my desk; the printed quote was easily in view during interviews with clients, and I would sometimes take advantage of that by glancing at it during an interview. The quote is from Ernesto "Che" Guevara: "Let me say, with the risk of appearing ridiculous, that the true revolutionary is guided by strong feelings of love. It is impossible to think of an authentic revolutionary without this quality."

The second quote is something I read just yesterday evening, but it applies to the work we do at PLA: "[...] for this little boy whom you have met, his life is just as important, to him, as your life is to you. No matter how insufficient or how shabby it may seem to some, it is the only one he has [...]". This quote comes from Amazing Grace: Children's Lives and the Conscience of a Nation, by Jonathan Kozol.

The two themes embodied in those quotes, and which I hope I have emulated in my work, are those of love and respect.

For those reading this who are not familiar, the work we do at Legal Services is very important work. In fact, without it, the premise upon which the United States of America was founded simply does not exist in reality. That premise is justice, and the equal access to justice. Justice is what sets this country apart from the many corrupt governments of Latin America, Africa, and Asia. Justice is what sets this country apart from the plutocracies in many parts of the Middle East. Justice based on 'the rights of man' (as Thomas Paine so passionately wrote) is what makes this country so special.

Our objective at Legal Services is not one of correcting the misfortune of poverty, nor is it one of providing charity to those who do not have. Our work, and the work of any true public servant, is not a matter of misfortune or charity, but is one of working actively against injustice.

Working in the trenches of family law, injustice appears on a microcosmic, case-by-case basis; for example, an unjust relationship based on the power and control of domestic violence, or the injustice of a parent not providing child support for a child born into an already unfortunate socioeconomic environment, or the injustice of a parent denying a child contact with that child's other parent purely due to the spite and resentment of a failed relationship.

In addition to providing legal assistance, I tried to infuse clients with the two themes of love and respect to prevent a civil war of emotions between (or sometimes within) parents, between whom was caught a child or children. Although many clients are already conscious of this, I hope that my method provided a positive example.

I will provide individual gratitude in a direct, more personal environment on my last day at PLA, but be assured that I have the deepest gratitude to everyone there. For now, I will offer individual thanks to my mother and my father, without whose example and love I would not be who I am today.

I end with two final quotes: "My lawyer is a rebel, a revolutionary who is alienated fundamentally from the status quo, probably with as great an intensity, conviction, and irretrievability as I am alienated from it -- and probably with more intelligence, compassion, and humanity" (Eldridge Cleaver, Soul on Ice). My only qualification of this quote is that I do not intend to be alienated from the reality of life and the world we live in. Instead, replace "alienated fundamentally from the status quo" with "opposed fundamentally to the injustices of the status quo." I will consider myself successful if my clients use this quote one day to describe me.

Finally, any reference to revolution is only meant in the literal sense of 'turning over' a new example and form of human interaction; a revolution in the social sense, as people interact with each other in society, regardless of whether in a professional or an informal setting. This definition, and this hope for a better future, is easily summed up in a quote by someone who also began his career as a lawyer: "You must be the change you wish to see in the world": Mohandas K. Gandhi.

Thank you.

*

Saw the Y100 Feztival, featuring Beastie Boys as headliner, at the Tweeter Center, Camden for $35.50.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night

Everything is pointing toward my attendance at Rutgers-Camden School of Law this coming August. Not only did they offer me admission as a full-time day student, but they are allowing me New Jersey in-state tuition by using Mita's address as my own permanent residence. The clincher, however, is their offer of a scholarship which will reduce the tuition by $4000 each year, as long as I maintain a GPA of 3.5 or higher. I'm honored they offered the scholarship, but I'm just as happy that it presents me with a very real challenge. That makes me even more excited for law school.

So Corey leaves the United States on June 6 for Armenia. Over the past three years, he's definitely become my best friend. When we hang out, its always a guaranteed good conversation, and its never a bad time. I think its fortunate that Cherise and I are leaving for a month in Europe on June 28. And then, shortly after my return, I'll be tackling the challenge of law school. I anticipate that those two events will ease the transition to my life in Philly without having Corey to hang out with.

But its obvious that a new chapter of my life is about to begin. Just as my trip to Costa Rica and Nicaragua last December through March 2003 was an interlude between two well-defined chapters of my life, so will my impending trip to Europe seem to be another interlude between two chapters in my life. I embrace the opportunity and privilege to encounter challenges and hence new chances for development and personal improvement. Fear arises from the unknown. But the confrontation with the unknown will force me to step-up; it will be a test of myself and my personality traits. I consider myself fortunate to be in a position to travel, to be in a position to further my education, and to be in a position to move onward and upward toward new horizons, new challenges, and new successes.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- afternoon

It's beautiful outside. Today is the first day of 2004 that is forecast to have a high temperature of 70*F or higher. I'm happy that spring seems to be arriving for good. I'm also happy to be looking forward to going to law school this coming fall.

There's a few important things that have changed since I last wrote almost four months ago. But there is another feeling that has impelled me to write this early afternoon. I just received a letter this morning from the University of Pennsylvania Law School, which denied my application for admission. Since the beginning of the application process, I had mixed feelings about applying to Penn Law. But I ended up applying since it had the best reputation of the ten law schools I applied to. I did this despite my reservations regarding the high tuition, and more significantly, the impression of Penn Law students and graduates. More specifically, with few exceptions, Penn Law students and grads are arrogant and unfriendly (moreso the former), either because they come from upper class families or because they are excessively proud of their academic achievement. The record, however, shows that there are a significant number of Penn Law students that are some combination of incompetent, clueless, and unmotivated. Add to these traits the arrogance mentioned above, and it becomes plain the disgust which I feel derives from being rejected from Penn Law.

But then, I step back and listen to what I just said, and then explore my original sentiments. Did I really want to go there? Yes and no. My only hope for Penn Law was its reputation; I would only have used it for that reason. I believe I would have been discontent in every other way. So when its all said and done, as always, I must have faith that it happens for a reason. It's reasonable to assume that it would have brought me much unhappiness, at least for three years. I don't need that; I never need to accept unhappiness.

Furthermore, I keep in mind that those who make history, who make a difference in this world, are not those who attend premier colleges and universities; they are not those who score highest on standardized tests; and quite often they are not those who come from the upper economic echelon of society. Those people that make a positive, lasting contribution to humankind are those that are determined, passionate, intelligent (in a general sense, not necessarily related to tests), moral, compassionate, and faithful. Once these positive characteristics translate into direct action, the world is never the same. It is this conviction, this truth, which maintains my faith.

Application for Edward V. Sparer Public Interest Law Fellowship -- Brooklyn Law School

1. Why are you interested in a public interest law career?

My mission is to serve that sector of society which is most vulnerable: those people with limited economic means, who oftentimes face other challenges due to their educational background, language skills, or ethnic/racial background. Assessing my own experiences, strengths, and skills, my goal is to be an effective lawyer working in the public interest.

As a Legal Services paralegal, it has become apparent that my hands are metaphorically tied behind my back. Like a carpenter who lacks a hammer, I lack the tool necessary to fulfill my ultimate commitment: a law degree, the symbol and culmination of a quality legal education. With this tool, I will honor my commitment to help those in need, and in doing so, effect immediate positive change in the low-income community. My admission into law school is a requisite for my continued integrity to those whom I serve, as well as to my own ambitions.

2. What experiences have shaped your interest and commitment to public interest law?

From February 2001 through the present, I have worked as a paralegal in the family law unit of Philadelphia Legal Assistance. My work entails interviewing low-income clients to analyze legal matters relating to various domestic relations matters. Upon gathering all pertinent information (including reviewing pleadings and notices) and analyzing the matter, I provide direct legal advice and assistance to the client. Appropriate and eligible cases for representation are referred to our staff of family law attorneys at the conclusion of each week.

In the spring of 2001, 2002 and 2004, I volunteered to prepare income tax returns at the Philadelphia Legal Assistance/Philadelphia Volunteers for the Indigent Program Low Income Tax Clinic in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania. The clinic prepares tax returns without cost to low-income clients. My fluency in the Spanish language was utilized since most of the clinic’s clients are Spanish-speaking farmworkers.

Through these experiences (and others), I have observed the vulnerabilities of the indigent associated with - and arising from - their low-income status, including a deficient education or difficulty with the English language. These difficulties exacerbate the average litigant’s ability to access justice.

The reward I receive is the satisfaction of a victim gaining protection from her abuser, a child’s parent receiving the support necessary to raise him properly, a hard-working farmworker receiving his due income tax return which he will send to support his wife and children. The reward I receive is the practical proof that my part in our justice system is helping to create a better, more just society, one family, or even one person at a time.


3. In what area(s) of public interest law are you particularly interested?

I am primarily interested in two areas of public interest law: immigration law and labor law. This interest is a response to the changing demographics of our country, in which there is an increasing number of Latino citizens and Latin American immigrants. Practice in either area of public interest law is important in order to protect the legal rights of an under-represented population, and to serve them within a justice system which - for many - is foreign, both literally and figuratively.

San Diego, California -- early morning

Well, reading over the last entry before writing this one, I can see that much has happened since then. As I write this, I sit in Cherise's bed at her mother's home in San Diego. I arrived in California (for the first time in my life) on December 27, 2003. I'll be flying out of San Diego to New York tomorrow night. So I've been here for a week.

I've met Cherise's entire immediate family. I believe my best connection has been with her mother, which I realize is really the most important connection that I need to make. But I've also definitely gotten along well with the rest of her family.

We've done so many things this week: Old Town, Balboa Park, the San Diego zoo, Mission Beach, the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, University of California at Irvine, Seaport Village, Coronado Island, Point Loma, and downtown San Diego.

I've enjoyed my time here, but I'm looking forward to returning to Philly, primarily to get back on track with my foremost New Year's resolution: get into law school. I must take advantage of the week I'll have before Cherise returns to Philly in order to finalize the application process. This is imperative. Once this is complete, I will be freer to devote myself to my relationship with Cherise. I've fallen in love with her, and I really love being with her. The characteristics that I noticed early on were true. I now also realize too, though, that she will surely challenge me. As she is also a first-born with much experience of independence, our strong personalities may clash at times. As long as we communicate respectfully and effectively, this will only help us to grow. I can say so far, so good. And I am hopeful that we will continue to grow together. I know she feels the same way.

Now, looking back at the end of 2003, I can say that Evan is now married and Ethan is now engaged. And Cherise began living with me as of her last show in Atlantic City on Thanksgiving Day. And looking forward to 2004, I have already mentioned my commitment to my primary resolution, as well as continuing my relationship with Cherise. I also hope to travel to DC, Florida, and Europe, most certainly in that order. And come September, I sincerely and deeply hope to be beginning classes at a law school. My God hear my prayers. And may I serve God. I hope for a year of health and happiness, for myself and my loved ones. Perhaps I should resolve to write more often, but then again, I think I say that every time.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning

I'm feeling okay these days. I really can't complain, but of course the grass is always greener on the other side. I have all these desires which I think will bring me greater happiness, but then I often think I'm deluding myself. For instance, I'm really digging a girl I met about a month ago (my entry on September 22, 2003 obliquely refers to my meeting her). Her name is Cherise, and she's currently dancing in a show at the Tropicana casino in Atlantic City. A first reaction would be that she must have a great body; no doubt about it. But I really like her for much more than that. It was very apparent to me early on that she is a very sweet, caring, and compassionate person. This is the type of girl I want to be with.

There's just a couple of problems, probably interconnected, that worry me. And this is what's on my mind these days, this excitement yet definite frustration. Cherise, who's also 25 (she's just about six months younger than me), had only been in Atlantic City for three weeks when I had met her. Prior to that, she had been living in Brooklyn with her 32 year old boyfriend. She tells me that it didn't work because he put too much pressure on her to stay by his side. Essentially, he was going to hold her down, and she really resented that. She was naturally recovering (or maybe still considering?) from that when I entered her life. I presented a totally different philosophy and respect, and she seems to be genuinely attracted to me.

But this past weekend, she told me that she needs some time - probably just a couple of weeks - to fully stabilize herself, before getting to a point where she can completely commit to me. This request of hers would explain her behavior a couple of other occasions when she made plans with me but then let me down. That behavior and those actions really disappointed me, and truthfully, put me slightly in a cautious mode. But I really like her nevertheless, and I can see that this is why I've felt uneasy a little bit these days.

But her current proposal also puts me in something of a compromising position. I now have to be patient while she gets herself straight. Although the timing is not bad, since Evan's bachelor party is this weekend, and then the wedding is two weeks later, I still dislike that feeling of waiting, and knowing that anything is possible in a couple of weeks. I remind myself that I must maintain faith in the natural course of events, but its not always reassuring at every moment. But perhaps this time will also give me a chance to reflect.

My main concern now is that one of my biggest lessons from my relationship with Heather is that long-distance relationships are generally not practical or functional. Of course Cherise is a different girl and I'm now living under different circumstances at a different point in my life. But the general point may still be legitimate, and quite relevant.

For now, I'm just playing it cool; avoiding any rash decisions. I really do like Cherise though. It might be nice to give this a shot. But, as always, as a dancer like Cherise surely knows, it takes two to tango.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night

I'm listening to some Bob Marley, and I figured I'd write a little bit in my journal. I know I never followed up my last entry, but that's no surprise. It's quite typical of me.

Since that time, I"ve been seeing and talking with this girl named Cherise. I guess you would call that dating. I've really developed an attraction for her, but she's not really in a position to be in a relationship. Objectively speaking, I'm probably not either. I really need to get my ass in gear to start my applications for law school. I've already called to request applications from all the schools I think I'm going to apply to. Now its just a matter of applying myself to getting the ball rolling.

In other news, I've been taking a class in French. I've been picking it up pretty well. I think I'm one of the better students in the class, especially with regard to my accent. But I've always had a pretty good ear for languages and accents.

Last night, I finally finished reading "The Mismeasure of Man" by Stephen Jay Gould. It's the refutation to "The Bell Curve" the prime text espousing biological determinism, or scientific racism. "The Mismeasure of Man" was a bit difficult to understand at times because it was so laden with scientific lingo and logic. But, despite its sometimes difficulty, it made sense and I appreciated it. Now I'm reading "The Catcher in the Rye" which was given to me by Richard. So far, I'm cruising through it. It's much easier to read a fiction novel than to read scientific non-fiction.

Well, to move away from the superficial, I will comment on my mindset these days. I feel this stagnancy more and more in my life. I love my job, but I feel like I'm doing the same thing everyday. I'm falling way short of my potential, my abilities. And I'm feeling the pressure to do something that is more meaningful. That's why I have to get my shit together for law school. As fas as I can see right now, that's my next logical step, the step that I'm best-suited for.

But this inertia in my life is sometimes affecting my social life too. I have really enjoyed my time and feelings with Cherise, but I'm trying to check myself now, so as not to get ahead of myself. I must remain realistic. But its easy to fall into these feelings when it provides the only present challenge in my life. Also, obviously, it is very nice to spend quality time with a good woman. However, Cherise's career as a dancer is too transient to have any legitimate expectations. On my side too, if I get my shit together, I can't say with certainty where I'll be either. So for now I'm stuck. But I'll keep a good head on my shoulders and get disciplined to begin moving toward my goals.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night

There has been so much going on that I'm not necessarily sure where to begin. I'll start with what is probably most significant, especially in terms of who I am today.

Yesterday afternoon, while hanging out on Walnut Street with Paul and Corey, Paul spotted someone who he thought he recognized across the street. It was Heather, my ex-girlfriend. I'm sure I hesitated because of the initial shock of a moment that I could never prepare for. Then, I jogged across the street to catch up with her at the southeast corner of 17th and Walnut. I called her name and she turned around, with a look of surprise on her face. I immediately kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug. And then I asked here where she was and what she was doing. She told me that she had just started classes at UPenn in their social work program; she said she was living on-campus in University City.

I had already said hello to her aunt Donna and younger cousin Rebecca, and Corey and Paul had come up to us too. Heather asked me what I was up to these days. I told her that I was still working at PLA, and that I was once again beginning the application process for law schools. Then, fortunately for me, Corey intervened to ask Heather about the program at Penn. It got me off the hook because I really had nothing else to ask nor anything else to offer.

After a couple minutes of that, Donna and Rebecca pulled slightly away, as did Paul and Corey. I guess that was their way of giving us a moment of private conversation. Heather seemed dumbfounded, or else just allowing me the initiative. I simply said with sincerity that it was really nice to see her. Then, I said I would see her around. And finally, I hesitatingly took a step backward while giving a short, quick wave. I turned around and walked away to catch up with Paul and Corey. I didn't ask for her phone number or address, so that was that.

Despite the to-be-expected surprise and bit of awkwardness, it went just as I would have hoped it would. I've gotta be thankful that I was with two of my boys to support me through that. On the flipside, I've gotta be thankful that she was with the only two family members who actually seemed to like me. And lastly, I've gotta be thankful that I was in a good psychological frame of mind. My social life, specifically with regard to women, has been on an upswing for about two months. But this weekend was especially solid. I couldn't have asked for a higher confidence level to see Heather. That may seem either selfish or shallow, but it really is important.

But I'll re-cap my other activities in my next entry, which I hope to make later this week. I'm just feeling beat right now. I've gotta get ready for bed to rest up and feel better tomorrow. But it was all worth it. No doubt about it.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night

These past couple of days there have been the vaguest hints of the onset of autumn. The slightest chill in the air, especially of course at nighttime, brings with it the next set of aggregated memories, which for me consist of my keenest nostalgia.

There's just something about fall that brings me back to feelings of my childhood and adolescence. Furthermore, this year specifically, this cooler weather signals for me the official end of my latest chapter, which was embodied in my trip to Costa Rica and Nicaragua. The return to cooler weather signifies my return to North American weather. The sentient feeling on my skin impels my mind to the constant memory that I am far away from the Equator. And so it goes.

I must set my sights on new horizons, be they domestic or foreign, literal or figurative. For now all continues to seem stagnant, which is not necessarily a bad thing at present: I have been desiring some stability for the time being. But life always seems stagnant when looking outward with a short-sighted vision.

Extending my vision, my considerations primarily include law school, but I'm still reluctant to voluntarily enter a form of economic enslavement. It's diametric counterpart is the consideration of travelling extensively through Europe. But that idea always carries with it the fear of an unstable life that is not moving toward any productive end. Nevertheless, the allure of travel and adventure calls out to me seductively enough.

At this point in time, I am content to accept that this decision, as with all others, will be made at its appropriate time, when the context and circumstances surrounding it may be totally difficult. That is partly the nature of existentialism, to which I faithfully adhere. Essentially, I am not presently in the position to have to make a decision, and so I am free to ponder, either dreamily or stressfully, all of the possibilities. What the future may hold I am eager to find out. When it comes to action, I will advance confidently in the direction of my dreams, to paraphrase Thoreau. The rest will naturally fall into place.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- afternoon

I'm sitting here in a coffee shop, writing, because I'm too exhausted to continue my reading. I've read a few pages, but it's been difficult to concentrate. The reason for my sleepiness is my extended weekend, which is now coming to a close.

Today is Labor Day. Only two hours ago, I returned here to Philadelphia from a trip south to Baltimore and Washington, D.C. This weekend was a good one.

On Friday evening, I left shortly after work with Paul and Corey for a car ride to Baltimore. On the way down, we had good conversation, listened to some hype music, and smoke cigars. We got to Bmore at about 8:30 p.m., at Evan's house. I took a shower, and we started pre-gaming. Evan showed up about an hour later, and from there we went to the bars in Federal Hill. I got a chance to see my friend, Mike, but I spent much of the night in brief conversations with strangers (girls) or just chilling solo. At one point, I grabbed a seat by the entrance of a lounge/bar and actually carded a couple people. For better or for worse, that was my highlight for that night. But it was a pretty funny thing, so it was good. I got a slice of pizza at Maria D's before sauntering back to Evan's place to sleep on the floor for the night. Before I made it back, though, I met two girls on the sidewalk near the Cross Street Market. Somewhat insistent, I convinced a girl to kiss me. It was kind of terrible, but I just felt like kissing a girl. After that, I just walked away.

The next morning, Paul, Evan, Corey, and I walked to a bagel shop for breakfast, then walked to the Inner Harbor to pass the early afternoon. It was a nice day, so I enjoyed my time. I drank a big lemonade to re-hydrate. The four of us got a photo sitting on a bench at the Inner Harbor. Most of the time I spent there was walking and talking with Evan. It was a really good conversation; looking back, its amazing how Evan and I have become good friends, not that's its shocking, but it's just interesting to reflect on the development of a relationship. We eventually walked back to Evan's hosue to pack up for the short trip south from Bmore to D.C.

We arrived at the hotel that Paul's dad hooked us up with at about 4:30 p.m. Paul, Corey, and I checked-in, then went out to find a restaurant for our lunch/dinner. Already half-starving, it was an agonizing mission to find a decent place that was open at that time. Eventually we found a place where I got a good burger.

After returning to the hotel to shower, prepare, and pre-game, we hit the town at Adams Morgan. I don't particular want to condense the events, but I'll do so in the interests of time and length. On our way to Tom-Tom, a couple of Swedish girls began talking with us. Immediately, the very good-looking one drew herself near me to begin a conversation. After getting in the bar, I continued the conversation to establish a good foundation. Through the course of the rest of the night, I would mingle and talk with other girls, but occasionally meeting up with the Swedish girls to continue our connection. Towards the end of the night, I found myself on a couch with the Swedish girl. Needless to say, we started kissing; she was a good kisser. I invited them back to our hotel room, but being good girls they declined. They only have three more weeks in the U.S. I got Annika's phone number, but I won't see her again unless I can see her in Europe. Oh well, it was a good experience, and perhaps she'll be a pen-pal.

Sunday morning, Paul, Corey, and I did the tourist thing. We saw the White House and Washington Monument, with less proximate views of the Lincoln Memorial and the Capitol Building. Then, we got on the Metro to ride to George Washington University, where we had to wait for a bus for Georgetown. Now, for me, Georgetown can hardly be put into words: there were so many good-looking girls that I nearly got whip-lash and did eventually have a mental overload, so that I couldn't really think any more. But before that happened, I engaged in a short sidewalk conversation with a Tunisian diplomat to Canada, who was in D.C. visiting his daughter. We spoke briefly about work in international politics. And I dropped the usual basic French phrases. From there, I went to American Eagle to get a couple of nice, collared, long-sleeve shirts for nightlife. After walking around for a while longer we got a little tired, so we decided to walk down to the river to sit down to smoke some cigars. After sitting there for a while, we walked back to the main strip to get coffee for a boost, then we rode to Metro back to downtown to go back to the hotel.

Sunday night was okay. Corey and I went to a bar off of Dupont Circle which was not that good. Corey had to meet a girl there. About an hour or so later, Paul met up with us with his English girl and I left with them immediately for Adams Morgan again. There were two highlights there. First, Corey, Mike, and I made our way to an Eritrean/African bar, where we were almost the only white people. We gravitated to a table of three black women, and chatted them up for a long while. We stayed until just about closing when Mike and I walked out to the opposite sidewalk. I began initiating conversations with as many women as possible. Eventually, the odds paid off and a tandem of Jamie and Amy talked with us. Corey later met us when I spotted him from across the street and called him over. I had everyone in stitches for most of the time, as I was apparently on point with humor. Again, I invited the girls back to the hotel, and again they declined. I did, however, get a weak sidewalk hook-up. A couple brief kisses. And so it goes.

We got up early this morning so that Paul could hit the road to get back to NYC at a decent hour. It was a smooth ride and I got to my apartment at 2pm. And now I am here at Cosi, happily re-capping my weekend. It was fun and it was good. That's what life is all about.