Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night

It's been over two months since I last wrote, but I've thought often of writing. So much seems to have happened in the last two months.

First and foremost, I started law school and now I'm in full-swing with less than two months until my last exam for the semester. The experience has been a challenging one. Despite the difficulties - or perhaps because of them - I am very grateful. I can say that my dream to be a student at Temple Law has materialized, although the day-to-day doesn't seem or feel like a dream. I occasionally remind myself of why I wanted to do this: to help other people. It seems like most of the time that I dislike my five classes, although there are occasional moments of interest and even rarer moments of pleasure.

But I believe that moving consciously and intentionally in the direction of one's dreams is one of the two purposes of life. In that respect, I have to believe I'm succeeding. The second purpose of life is complementary to the first. Each positively effects the other. From my present perspective, then, I am lagging a bit in the second: one must face one's fears and, quite similarly, move consciously and intentionally to overcome them. For reasons that are somewhat vague to me, I have feared speaking in front of my class. Being conscious of this, it sometimes effects my interactions with my classmates individually, although I feel that this is improving. I hope that the positive movement of the first purpose continues to strengthen me in my desire to achieve the second purpose, whether little-by-little or by leaps and bounds.

Law school has been difficult for other reasons. It has been a constant, daily struggle to keep up with the large amount of reading, and more difficult, the comprehension and retention of that reading. After ordering a notebook computer at the end of August, I finally got it in mid-September. It has helped me tremendously to get organized. Nevertheless, the struggle continues.

Another difficulty has been my schedule's effect on my relationship with Cherise. Since I am so busy from Monday through Friday, and even to a degree on Saturday and Sunday, it has left me with little time to do anything else. The little time I do have remaining, I usually choose to just resting and relaxing. At times, this has put a strain of the relationship. Cherise has a lot of free time, so she naturally gets bored sometimes. It is at times like these that she misses my companionship. There have been times where I have made compromises (not always smart), but they have been admittedly few. The pressure of school just seems to be something always on my mind, with very infrequent repose.

A related issue is my occasional envy of Cherise's schedule, especially when she isn't here, but she's out having fun. I miss that very much. But realistically, now that Corey is gone to Armenia, I think it would be difficult to recreate my early days in Philadelphia. So maybe its better that I'm in school, to use that as a weak justification - or convenient excuse.

My short-term light at the end of the tunnel is a trip to Costa Rica this December. If time permits, I want to see the Panama Canal. I'm very hopeful that it's the type of escapist experience that I'll be likely to need at the end of the semester. To relieve stress, to be able to breathe fresh air, to be able to enjoy warm weather, to be able to party and have fun, to be able to travel on new roads to new places, to love life - these are my hopes and aspirations.

And my long-term light at the end of the tunnel, of course, is to obtain a position as a result of my legal education to help other people in a positive, tangible way. Well, as mentioned I'm very busy these days, so I don't know when I'll write again. Maybe next time I'll be on a beach in Central America.