Cool winds

It's that time of year.  Football is almost here!!!  This coming Thursday is the college football kick-off.  There's one more week of NFL pre-season, then the NFL regular season starts just two weeks from now.  The downside, I guess, is that summer is coming to an end.  Labor Day is next weekend, but that's a nice thing for me now since that's the anniversary of when I met Jeannie.  It's also the start of my favorite season of the year: fall.  In addition to being football season, I love the warm days and cool nights.  I remember as a child walking the trails of Cheesequake State Park and Holmdel State Park during the fall.  I also remember favorably the excitement and anticipation of a new school year and the building excitement for the fall holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas.  It's a good time of year, for sure.

I'm hoping some of that spirit of renewal and rejuvenation effect me this year.  If you've read my recent posts, you know that there has been a lot of negativity in the air, mainly at work.  Jeannie and I leave this coming Thursday for a long weekend in Montreal.  I had been hoping that our recent trip to Ensenada, Mexico and San Diego might infuse me with some positive rejuvenation.  It didn't happen that way, but I remain hopeful that this upcoming trip to Montreal will finally do so.  Now that Jeannie and I are expecting a baby, and especially since Jeannie is still looking for work, I feel it's important that I use the challenges at work as an opportunity to learn lessons and re-double yet again my focus and energies on the work itself, rather than bothering myself with worries about other people's perceptions of me.  God knows me.  God knows that I'm not a perfect man, but that I'm a good man who does good work by helping others, both at work as part of my job but also outside of work as a compassionate man.  This past Wednesday when I was leaving work and walking with Ben, his boyfriend Kyle, and another attorney from the office, Jane, down 15th Street toward Baja Room, I saw a homeless woman with whom I'm friendly, Maria.  As I passed her, I happily said hi, and she turned around and came running back to me to give me a hug.  Earlier that day, as I was walking back down Chestnut Street from Court, a young guy approached me and shared with me his story of trying to get on his feet and look for work.  He asked for help getting shoes or shirts for work.  In response I arranged to meet him at 2pm tomorrow to give him a pair of shoes and possibly some shirts, to get him going in the right direction.  God knows that I'm a good man, even if I haven't been perfect.  Whether any one at work realizes that is no longer my concern.  I'll do my job to the best of my ability until I feel in my heart that it's time to move on.

Whoever you are reading this now, I pray that God blesses you with good health, happiness, and love.  Whatever troubles you may have or worries on your mind, may this season be one of healthy renewal for you too.  God bless you.

San Diego, California -- early morning

Well, reading over the last entry before writing this one, I can see that much has happened since then. As I write this, I sit in Cherise's bed at her mother's home in San Diego. I arrived in California (for the first time in my life) on December 27, 2003. I'll be flying out of San Diego to New York tomorrow night. So I've been here for a week.

I've met Cherise's entire immediate family. I believe my best connection has been with her mother, which I realize is really the most important connection that I need to make. But I've also definitely gotten along well with the rest of her family.

We've done so many things this week: Old Town, Balboa Park, the San Diego zoo, Mission Beach, the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, University of California at Irvine, Seaport Village, Coronado Island, Point Loma, and downtown San Diego.

I've enjoyed my time here, but I'm looking forward to returning to Philly, primarily to get back on track with my foremost New Year's resolution: get into law school. I must take advantage of the week I'll have before Cherise returns to Philly in order to finalize the application process. This is imperative. Once this is complete, I will be freer to devote myself to my relationship with Cherise. I've fallen in love with her, and I really love being with her. The characteristics that I noticed early on were true. I now also realize too, though, that she will surely challenge me. As she is also a first-born with much experience of independence, our strong personalities may clash at times. As long as we communicate respectfully and effectively, this will only help us to grow. I can say so far, so good. And I am hopeful that we will continue to grow together. I know she feels the same way.

Now, looking back at the end of 2003, I can say that Evan is now married and Ethan is now engaged. And Cherise began living with me as of her last show in Atlantic City on Thanksgiving Day. And looking forward to 2004, I have already mentioned my commitment to my primary resolution, as well as continuing my relationship with Cherise. I also hope to travel to DC, Florida, and Europe, most certainly in that order. And come September, I sincerely and deeply hope to be beginning classes at a law school. My God hear my prayers. And may I serve God. I hope for a year of health and happiness, for myself and my loved ones. Perhaps I should resolve to write more often, but then again, I think I say that every time.