Okay, so I'm actually back again. I was surprised to look out the window this morning and see some snow on the ground outside. It's a half-day at work, being that today is New Year's Eve. Today at work I only have a couple of complaints (divorce and support) to file at the Clerk and then make a couple phone calls.
Last night was nice. Ileana and I wanted to go out to eat. So we first walked to Erawan, where I was hoping my friend Laddie would be working. But since she wasn't there, we left and walked to Grace Tavern. But there weren't any open seats there. So we walked a block down South Street and decided to give L2 a try. We walked to the dining room in the back, which had sofa benches with dark red satin all along the walls. There was swing music and other 1940s-sounding music playing. The room was dimly-lit and there were large framed paintings of portraits of women on each wall. The vibe was somewhat Eastern European or perhaps Parisian. So we had hopes that it would be a good meal. Things became a bit disappointing right off the bat when the waiter said that they didn't have many wines to choose from. Of course I wanted malbec, which they didn't have. So we had to settle for two glasses of merlot. Then when Ileana ordered a pasta dish, the guy came back and said they didn't have pasta! and that she would have to order something else. Despite his explanation that they had been closed for five days for the holidays, the idea of such a sparse menu seemed preposterous and shoddy. To top things off, when I got my chicken parmesan, the red sauce was so thin that I think they must have bought the sauce on sale at Shoprite. We really enjoyed the atmosphere (music and ambience) and the appetizers (pita with hummus and shrimp wrapped in bacon) were good enough for us to enjoy our time there. But everything else was disappointing enough that we decided that we're never going back there.
After wrapping up the check, we decided it was still too early to go home. So we walked another block down South Street to Ten Stone. We had a couple rounds of beers: two Palm Belgian Ambers for Ileana, and one Palm Belgian Amber and one Hoegaarden for me. I watched the Sixers-Kings basketball game while we talked.
Well, I hope you have a wonderful New Year's Eve tonight. Be safe. And may the new year bring you good health and happiness!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Did you miss me?
It's been over three months since I last wrote anything here. I give credit to Wagner for reminding me about the blog and, in turn, for reviving my interest in preserving my very weak memory. So the question: where do I begin?
Well, things have come full circle, at least professionally speaking. Before going to law school, I worked for nearly four years as a family law paralegal at Philadelphia Legal Assistance. Back in mid-October, there was word that one of the attorneys was suddenly going out on maternity leave, after finally being approved to adopt a baby girl. I was asked to interview for the temporary, six-month position. I did so, and was hired to begin working on Monday, November 2nd. Since then, I've enjoyed being back with a group of people that I truly consider to be my second family. And I've really enjoyed practicing law in the way that I believe I was meant to practice: client-based, client-centered, and in the courtroom.
Now, some highlights from the past three months that I will simply list for the benefit of my own memory:
Well, things have come full circle, at least professionally speaking. Before going to law school, I worked for nearly four years as a family law paralegal at Philadelphia Legal Assistance. Back in mid-October, there was word that one of the attorneys was suddenly going out on maternity leave, after finally being approved to adopt a baby girl. I was asked to interview for the temporary, six-month position. I did so, and was hired to begin working on Monday, November 2nd. Since then, I've enjoyed being back with a group of people that I truly consider to be my second family. And I've really enjoyed practicing law in the way that I believe I was meant to practice: client-based, client-centered, and in the courtroom.
Now, some highlights from the past three months that I will simply list for the benefit of my own memory:
- throwing a birthday party at the double-deuce and Spruce, to which my sister and a bunch of my friends came, and even my mom made a surprise appearance
- watching the Temple basketball team upset #3-ranked Villanova at the Liacouras Center, to the dismay of Wagner who was there with me to witness history
- going to a live music performance by Sara Tavares at the Kimmel Center, then going to dinner at Valanni's and then drinks at El Vez
- going bowling at Strikes in University City, and even playing a little ping-pong afterwards
- being snowed-in by the 23.2 inches of snow on Saturday, December 19th, and staying in the apartment that day to watch "The Hangover" and then "Up", then venturing out later in the afternoon to have a late lunch at Continental Midtown
- going out to West Philly a lot, including a pleasant afternoon lounging in the grass at Clark Park and nights at Local 44
- speaking of going out to West Philly, having to walk Walnut Street all the way out to 44th Street, because the buses weren't running as a result of the SEPTA strike back in late October
- taking a stroll arm-in-arm from the double-deuce and Spruce all the way down to Mixto for a first date
. . . and other stuff I can't remember right now. I'm gonna start writing here more regularly, so that way I can actually keep track of everything that I'm doing. In spite of the bigger picture (e.g., the economy), 2009 was a pretty good year. And I feel that things are on an upswing as we head into 2010. I hope that the new year brings you good health and happiness. And, if it's not too much to ask, I hope the same thing for myself. Let's see if I can write again tomorrow . . .
Labels:
basketball,
Double-Deuce and Spruce,
ileana,
law,
movies,
Philadelphia,
Walnut Street
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Facebook status update
"Chaque homme porte en lui sa dose d'opium naturel, incessamment secretee et renouvelee, et, de la naissance a la mort, combien comptons-nous d'heures remplies par la jouissance positive, par l'action reussie et decidee?"
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Mojitos
Yesterday afternoon I met up with my ex-girlfriend Heather. The last time I saw her was six years ago, and that was merely a brief, chance encounter on Walnut Street. The last time that I spent any real time with her was seven years ago. So needless to say, despite not having any intentions of anything beyond seeing her to catch up, I was still a bit excited to see her. We met at 3pm in Rittenhouse Square. Since I usually attend evening mass at 6:30pm, I figured a little more than three hours should be enough to catch up on most everything. The weather was sunny and dry and simply beautiful. Our meeting went exactly as I had hoped; I felt good that we had reconnected as friends. Now that I've seen her, though, my pre-meeting intentions have not changed. I'll be happy for she and I to be friends. Of the girls that I've dated for more than a month or so, there's now only one that I don't communicate with. All of rest care about me, just as I care about them, and they're mature enough to maintain a friendship with me. When I was younger (i.e., around the time when I broke up with Heather), I had a rigid philosophy of cutting all contact if a relationship didn't work out. But I don't feel that way any more: life is too short to hold grudges or exert mental/emotional energy to keep a wall up. Unless something really egregious happens to end a relationship, there's not much reason to turn your back on someone who you were compatible with to have a relationship with, even if it wasn't long-lasting. The reality is that the overwhelming majority of all relationships fail; relationships are the classic live-and-learn experience. So anyway, to bring it all the way back around, I'm glad that Heather and I can now be friends.
This past Saturday night was great. Wagner came by the double-deuce and Spruce to help me move out my old television and put it curbside. I had a few beers in the fridge, so we hung here for a little while. I took the opportunity to ask him some serious questions about his vision and goals for his law career. Since he's becoming one of my good friends here in Philly, I wanted to know if he would ever consider going into practice for himself, since that is my goal/hope/ambition. He said he had never really considered it, but said that he would now that I put the thought out there. It was a good, refreshing conversation before hitting the town.
Originally I had wanted to go to a new spot near me (at 20th and Sansom) called Village Whiskey. As we were walking out of my place, Wagner called up Tobin to let him know where we were going. At that moment, I took the opportunity to check my phone, lo and behold to discover that I'd missed a text message just a minute earlier. It was from Ileana, a girl who works with some of my friends at one of my old workplaces. She was out with her roommate and was inviting me to stop by if I wasn't busy. So the timing was perfect; Wagner's and my plan changed and we went to Rum Bar to meet up with them. It was a nice atmosphere in there, as there was a pretty good crowd, several of whom were wearing an eye-patch in honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day; it was pretty funny. We all spent the rest of the evening drinking mojitos. I was really happy to have the chance to talk to Ileana, since I'd only really talked to her once before for not much more than ten minutes. I kept being happily surprised to find out that we had a lot in common. So between the (strong) mojitos and the good conversation, I had a very good Saturday night.
The next morning, Sunday, I forced myself out of bed early in order to volunteer at a community event in South Philly: la Fiesta de San Mateo de Ozolco. For those of you who may not know, San Mateo de Ozolco is a village in the state of Puebla, in Mexico. And interestingly, anywhere from one-quarter to one-third of that village resides for at least part of the year in Philadelphia. Thus, to honor their community's community here in the 2-1-5, they hold an annual fiesta, with a traditional misa and dancing by los moros y cristianos and by traditional Aztecs. It was a fun cultural event to be at, although I had to leave early in order to make it back in time to meet up with Heather in Rittenhouse Square. But I have to admit that my Spanish-speaking skills were dulled as a result of all the mojitos I drank the night before. It was all worth it though.
Alright, that's all for now, folks. I hope things are well in your little part of the world, wherever that may be.
This past Saturday night was great. Wagner came by the double-deuce and Spruce to help me move out my old television and put it curbside. I had a few beers in the fridge, so we hung here for a little while. I took the opportunity to ask him some serious questions about his vision and goals for his law career. Since he's becoming one of my good friends here in Philly, I wanted to know if he would ever consider going into practice for himself, since that is my goal/hope/ambition. He said he had never really considered it, but said that he would now that I put the thought out there. It was a good, refreshing conversation before hitting the town.
Originally I had wanted to go to a new spot near me (at 20th and Sansom) called Village Whiskey. As we were walking out of my place, Wagner called up Tobin to let him know where we were going. At that moment, I took the opportunity to check my phone, lo and behold to discover that I'd missed a text message just a minute earlier. It was from Ileana, a girl who works with some of my friends at one of my old workplaces. She was out with her roommate and was inviting me to stop by if I wasn't busy. So the timing was perfect; Wagner's and my plan changed and we went to Rum Bar to meet up with them. It was a nice atmosphere in there, as there was a pretty good crowd, several of whom were wearing an eye-patch in honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day; it was pretty funny. We all spent the rest of the evening drinking mojitos. I was really happy to have the chance to talk to Ileana, since I'd only really talked to her once before for not much more than ten minutes. I kept being happily surprised to find out that we had a lot in common. So between the (strong) mojitos and the good conversation, I had a very good Saturday night.
The next morning, Sunday, I forced myself out of bed early in order to volunteer at a community event in South Philly: la Fiesta de San Mateo de Ozolco. For those of you who may not know, San Mateo de Ozolco is a village in the state of Puebla, in Mexico. And interestingly, anywhere from one-quarter to one-third of that village resides for at least part of the year in Philadelphia. Thus, to honor their community's community here in the 2-1-5, they hold an annual fiesta, with a traditional misa and dancing by los moros y cristianos and by traditional Aztecs. It was a fun cultural event to be at, although I had to leave early in order to make it back in time to meet up with Heather in Rittenhouse Square. But I have to admit that my Spanish-speaking skills were dulled as a result of all the mojitos I drank the night before. It was all worth it though.
Alright, that's all for now, folks. I hope things are well in your little part of the world, wherever that may be.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Quiet night
Today was a pretty quiet day, and tonight has been a quiet night. Being a night person, I got up late today. There are some days where I feel guilty for getting up late. Not today. Today I felt fine about getting up late. I had already set it in my mind that today was gonna be low-key. So I took the time to clean-up all the dishes and pots and utensils in the sink. I spoke on the phone with Evan for a while. And I made a call to an insurance company on behalf of one of my clients, but I only had to leave a voicemail there since no one picked up the phone.
Besides running out to Radio Shack to buy a power strip (to organize all the electrical cords now behind my television stand and to finally have an extra outlet to plug-in the antenna amplifier), I was inside all day. But I'm glad that I did run out for that quick errand, because on the walk home, coming up Walnut Street, I heard my name being called. I looked around and then across the street to the other sidewalk, and I saw my friend Nayami. So I ran across to say hi and give her a hug. We ended up walking together through Rittenhouse Square, she invited me to see her music group, PhillyBloco, perform at World Cafe Live on Halloween, and I gave her the gift of one of my two new power strips, since I only needed one. It was good to see Nayami, she's a really nice girl.
Tonight I just chilled out at home, drank a couple of my new favorite beers, Victory Whirlwind Witbier, and ate some spaghetti with sweet apple flavored chicken sausage and spinach mixed in with the sauce. While I ate, I had the Phillies game on low volume and listened to music from my iPod, played through my stereo. Overall, it was a good, chill night.
Now I think I'm gonna do some reading before going to bed. I hope you had as good a night as I did. See ya soon!
Besides running out to Radio Shack to buy a power strip (to organize all the electrical cords now behind my television stand and to finally have an extra outlet to plug-in the antenna amplifier), I was inside all day. But I'm glad that I did run out for that quick errand, because on the walk home, coming up Walnut Street, I heard my name being called. I looked around and then across the street to the other sidewalk, and I saw my friend Nayami. So I ran across to say hi and give her a hug. We ended up walking together through Rittenhouse Square, she invited me to see her music group, PhillyBloco, perform at World Cafe Live on Halloween, and I gave her the gift of one of my two new power strips, since I only needed one. It was good to see Nayami, she's a really nice girl.
Tonight I just chilled out at home, drank a couple of my new favorite beers, Victory Whirlwind Witbier, and ate some spaghetti with sweet apple flavored chicken sausage and spinach mixed in with the sauce. While I ate, I had the Phillies game on low volume and listened to music from my iPod, played through my stereo. Overall, it was a good, chill night.
Now I think I'm gonna do some reading before going to bed. I hope you had as good a night as I did. See ya soon!
Labels:
law,
music,
Phillies,
Rittenhouse Square,
Walnut Street
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Autumn: coffee, football, and work/out
Today was a pretty good day. I met Michael for lunch today at Coventry Deli (at 20th & Market). Actually, he had lunch while I drank a coffee I had picked-up along the way at La Colombe. We were able to catch-up on some gossip, which is always a lot of fun. Afterwards, I walked across the street to the courtyard at Commerce Square, where Jeanette came down to say hi. It was nice to see her; she looked good. The three of us talked for about 15 minutes before they had to get back to work.
After getting back home, I took care of some phone calls (one to a potential client, the other to a current opposing party) -- as you can see, I'm trying to keep busy while I'm in between projects. And then I ran out to mail a bill and deposit my last paycheck at the bank (may it last for long time!). Anyway, I feel like this is turning into a play-by-play of my day, so let's move on to other topics.
The Philadelphia Eagles. Along with so many other people, I'm not expecting much from Kevin Kolb this Sunday against the Saints. I'm predicting that McNabb won't even suit up, now that they have Garcia. I think Garcia will be in by midway through the 2nd quarter. And I actually think that the Eagles will come out with a win, after the offense rallies around Garcia and the defense generally stifles the Saints' offense.
The weather. I love autumn; it's my favorite season. I wore a short-sleeve t-shirt to meet Michael and Jeanette, and I was fine. Tonight the windows are open at the double-deuce & Spruce, and there is a nice chill in the air. The weather reminds me of football. And it reminds me of long walks in the leaf-covered trails of state parks when I was a young boy. Autumn reminds me of growing up, since it reminds me of the excitement of returning to Gettysburg for four consecutive years as an undergraduate. I really love this time of the year.
Now, to return to my daily recap, I finally made it to the gym this evening, my first time there in about a week and a half. The work-out was good; I felt strong. Bench press was solid, dumbell bicep curls, lateral raises, cable tricep push-down, front raises, crunches on the Swiss ball, and an extra set of dips and push-ups at the end for good measure. I saw my recent gym buddy Brian there and talked to him for just a minute, told him that I felt good and wanna do better to make it in there more often. With the way I felt during and after the work-out, I most certainly will.
Good night folks!
After getting back home, I took care of some phone calls (one to a potential client, the other to a current opposing party) -- as you can see, I'm trying to keep busy while I'm in between projects. And then I ran out to mail a bill and deposit my last paycheck at the bank (may it last for long time!). Anyway, I feel like this is turning into a play-by-play of my day, so let's move on to other topics.
The Philadelphia Eagles. Along with so many other people, I'm not expecting much from Kevin Kolb this Sunday against the Saints. I'm predicting that McNabb won't even suit up, now that they have Garcia. I think Garcia will be in by midway through the 2nd quarter. And I actually think that the Eagles will come out with a win, after the offense rallies around Garcia and the defense generally stifles the Saints' offense.
The weather. I love autumn; it's my favorite season. I wore a short-sleeve t-shirt to meet Michael and Jeanette, and I was fine. Tonight the windows are open at the double-deuce & Spruce, and there is a nice chill in the air. The weather reminds me of football. And it reminds me of long walks in the leaf-covered trails of state parks when I was a young boy. Autumn reminds me of growing up, since it reminds me of the excitement of returning to Gettysburg for four consecutive years as an undergraduate. I really love this time of the year.
Now, to return to my daily recap, I finally made it to the gym this evening, my first time there in about a week and a half. The work-out was good; I felt strong. Bench press was solid, dumbell bicep curls, lateral raises, cable tricep push-down, front raises, crunches on the Swiss ball, and an extra set of dips and push-ups at the end for good measure. I saw my recent gym buddy Brian there and talked to him for just a minute, told him that I felt good and wanna do better to make it in there more often. With the way I felt during and after the work-out, I most certainly will.
Good night folks!
Labels:
Double-Deuce and Spruce,
football,
Gettysburg,
law,
weight-lifting
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Highlights from the weekend
This past Sunday I volunteered at the Mexican Independence Day Fiesta at Penn's Landing. It was a great day: the weather and the girls were beautiful. I helped out Juntos, a South Philly cultural organization, to get a ton of people to sign postcards that will be sent to our congresspeople, asking them to take the initiative to reform the immigration laws. The process by which I did this was simply walking around through the crowd with a clipboard and a bunch of postcards, and asking people to sign. It was a great opportunity to use my Spanish for an entire afternoon. And the feeling I got by approaching people was the same feeling (though perhaps not quite as nerveracking) as I get by approaching girls at a bar: the pressure of capturing someone's attention within just a couple of seconds and trying to hold their attention long enough for them to give you something (here, a signature, at the bar, a phone number). Overall I had a really good day. When I first met with Valeska, the executive director of Juntos, about a month ago, this was the sort of experience I was looking for: something where I felt useful and something that was for a good cause. Hopefully the more I help out, the better chance there may be for greater opportunities to arise, maybe even an opportunity to direct my career in a more fulfilling direction. I leave that in God's hands; but in the meantime I'll do what I can to get more involved.
So I finally have television again. As I mentioned a few posts ago, I went and visited my dad this past Saturday. Our mission for that afternoon was to hook me up with a television antenna, a digital converter box, and a television stand. Check, check, and check. After a long and harrowing afternoon trying to assemble the tv stand and negotiate all the wires, I was finally able to put on the tv by the evening. After Pito had left, I was able to watch, of all things, the women's U.S. Open semifinal between Serena Williams and Kim Clijsters; as fate would have it, it was the match where Serena blew her lid and thus blew the match by threatening to shove a tennis ball down a line-judge's throat. Great drama. Proof that sports has always been and always will be the best form of reality tv.
Finally tonight, I'd like to mention that I finished the book "My Antonia", by Willa Cather, this past Sunday night. It is one of the most beautiful novels that I have ever read. It's about the love between a boy and a girl, who eventually become man and woman, but whose love is never fulfilled, much less consummated, with anything more than a kiss. It showed that true love, as it is really felt and expressed, has very little if anything to do with sex. It showed that true love is truly beautiful. And so, although the main characters' love was never fulfilled with each other in any traditional, logical, or preordained sense, thus giving the novel a tragic feel and the reader a certain feeling of discouragement, it was ultimately a romance of the highest order. Even more than the dynamic between Antonia and Jim Burden, the book really romanticizes, in a non-proselytizing manner, the plains of the American midwest. The imagery and lyrical descriptiveness with which Cather describes the land of Nebraska was incredibly moving and simply beautiful. I'll finish this post with two beautiful quotes from "My Antonia", one of scenic imagery and the other of pure love:
So I finally have television again. As I mentioned a few posts ago, I went and visited my dad this past Saturday. Our mission for that afternoon was to hook me up with a television antenna, a digital converter box, and a television stand. Check, check, and check. After a long and harrowing afternoon trying to assemble the tv stand and negotiate all the wires, I was finally able to put on the tv by the evening. After Pito had left, I was able to watch, of all things, the women's U.S. Open semifinal between Serena Williams and Kim Clijsters; as fate would have it, it was the match where Serena blew her lid and thus blew the match by threatening to shove a tennis ball down a line-judge's throat. Great drama. Proof that sports has always been and always will be the best form of reality tv.
Finally tonight, I'd like to mention that I finished the book "My Antonia", by Willa Cather, this past Sunday night. It is one of the most beautiful novels that I have ever read. It's about the love between a boy and a girl, who eventually become man and woman, but whose love is never fulfilled, much less consummated, with anything more than a kiss. It showed that true love, as it is really felt and expressed, has very little if anything to do with sex. It showed that true love is truly beautiful. And so, although the main characters' love was never fulfilled with each other in any traditional, logical, or preordained sense, thus giving the novel a tragic feel and the reader a certain feeling of discouragement, it was ultimately a romance of the highest order. Even more than the dynamic between Antonia and Jim Burden, the book really romanticizes, in a non-proselytizing manner, the plains of the American midwest. The imagery and lyrical descriptiveness with which Cather describes the land of Nebraska was incredibly moving and simply beautiful. I'll finish this post with two beautiful quotes from "My Antonia", one of scenic imagery and the other of pure love:
"If there was a road, I could not make it out in the faint starlight. There was nothing but land: not a country at all, but the material out of which countries are made."
"The idea of you is a part of my mind; you influence my likes and dislikes, all my tastes, hundreds of times when I don't realize it. You really are a part of me."
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I Can't Help It
It's been a lil' while since I posted some music. Here's "I Can't Help It" by The Roots, off their Rising Down album.
One of my favorite lines, right around the 1:05 minute mark:
If this video link eventually goes dead, then I encourage you to check out The Roots website or myspace page in order to listen to this and other tracks.
One of my favorite lines, right around the 1:05 minute mark:
"i only do what i got to do 'cause it's possible and climbing over whatever's known as a obstacle."
If this video link eventually goes dead, then I encourage you to check out The Roots website or myspace page in order to listen to this and other tracks.
Friday, September 11, 2009
End of an era . . .
. . . or at least another project. My time at Pepper Hamilton is over, at least for the time being. There was talk that we may be called back in two or three weeks to begin another phase of the case we were working on, or else for a new case. I don't necessarily mind the break, as long as it's only two or three weeks. I have to complete a case for one of my friends. And I've got a couple side projects, personal and professional, that should occupy my time for a couple weeks. I sure hope, though, that by the beginning of October, I've landed another gig. Of course I'll also take this opportunity to scope out the scene for permanent jobs, although I don't hold too much hope on that front, what with the economy and all. But who knows, it's worth a lookie-lookie.
I don't think I fully realize how excited I'm going to be by the end of tomorrow. I'm taking the R7 up to my dad's place in Levittown to have lunch and then head out to the Walmart near him to pick-up a television antenna and digital converter box. Then we'll drive down I-95 south to the Illadelph, and more specifically to the Ikea down on Del Ave so I can hook myself up with a nice television stand. After that, the project will be to put it all together. And hopefully, voila, by the end of the afternoon, I'll be able to kick back and watch some college football. And that's when it'll hit me how excited I'll be. Right now it's just a vague premonition of excitement.
Finally, I'm resolving myself to hitting the gym consistently now that I'll have no excuse. I've been too lax for too long now, and I really gotta get in there. Last time I was there, about a week ago, this guy Brian told me that he would push me back into the gym if he saw me walking around the street. I haven't seen him yet. But I'm not gonna wait to find out if he was serious; I'll get back to the gym on my own. I'm pretty sure that watching football on tv will motivate me to work-out; football fires up the athletic competitiveness within me.
I don't think I fully realize how excited I'm going to be by the end of tomorrow. I'm taking the R7 up to my dad's place in Levittown to have lunch and then head out to the Walmart near him to pick-up a television antenna and digital converter box. Then we'll drive down I-95 south to the Illadelph, and more specifically to the Ikea down on Del Ave so I can hook myself up with a nice television stand. After that, the project will be to put it all together. And hopefully, voila, by the end of the afternoon, I'll be able to kick back and watch some college football. And that's when it'll hit me how excited I'll be. Right now it's just a vague premonition of excitement.
Finally, I'm resolving myself to hitting the gym consistently now that I'll have no excuse. I've been too lax for too long now, and I really gotta get in there. Last time I was there, about a week ago, this guy Brian told me that he would push me back into the gym if he saw me walking around the street. I haven't seen him yet. But I'm not gonna wait to find out if he was serious; I'll get back to the gym on my own. I'm pretty sure that watching football on tv will motivate me to work-out; football fires up the athletic competitiveness within me.
Labels:
football,
law,
Philadelphia,
weight-lifting
Follow-up on the Baby and no NYC
The Baby is doing fine. As I write this she's sitting on my bed, grooming herself by licking her tummy. Earlier tonight, Rocky and the Baby were chasing each other around the apartment. Rocky cornered her underneath the bicycles leaning against my bedroom wall, the Baby assumed her normal defensive position by lying on her back with her four paws up in the air, trying to stiff-arm Rocky's attempts to nose-dive into her and bite her, and the two of them alternately swiped at each other's paws to create an opening for "attack." It was fun to watch them play.
I was going to go to New York City this weekend, but I think that's no longer gonna happen. First of all, there is a very strong likelihood that the project that I've been working on is going to end tomorrow. The work has simply run out. That translates into once again having to be conservative with my spending. Second, I had hoped to hear back from at least one of two girls: one, Elsa, an El Salvadoran girl I met about a month ago when I last visited New York, and the other, Anne-Sarah, a French girl I met last November when we sat next to each other on a four-hour bus ride from Vang Vieng to Vientiane, Laos. Elsa lives in New York, Anne-Sarah is currently visiting New York. I had been corresponding with both of them a couple weeks ago, and since mentioning to each that I'd be in New York this weekend, neither one has responded. This has seemed to be my luck lately, in a general sense. I write to people and they don't write back at all. Oh well, what can I say, if they haven't thought to write back, then it's probably not really worth my time to go see them, I'll just keep doing my thing here in Philly. Finally, my third reason for staying in Philly this weekend is that my dad has offered to help me pick-up a television stand from Ikea, on which I'll put my new, pre-owned television. I'll also need to buy a digital converter box and an antenna, and then I'll be set to watch football. I've effectively not had television (other than to watch dvd's) for the past three months or so (whenever the digital transition took place). Now that it's starting to get dark early, with the coming of autumn, the nights have seemed just a bit darker and lonelier lately. The distraction of television and the accompanying illusion of other human voices in my apartment will be comforting. Not to mention, watching football is one of my true and simple pleasures in life.
I was going to go to New York City this weekend, but I think that's no longer gonna happen. First of all, there is a very strong likelihood that the project that I've been working on is going to end tomorrow. The work has simply run out. That translates into once again having to be conservative with my spending. Second, I had hoped to hear back from at least one of two girls: one, Elsa, an El Salvadoran girl I met about a month ago when I last visited New York, and the other, Anne-Sarah, a French girl I met last November when we sat next to each other on a four-hour bus ride from Vang Vieng to Vientiane, Laos. Elsa lives in New York, Anne-Sarah is currently visiting New York. I had been corresponding with both of them a couple weeks ago, and since mentioning to each that I'd be in New York this weekend, neither one has responded. This has seemed to be my luck lately, in a general sense. I write to people and they don't write back at all. Oh well, what can I say, if they haven't thought to write back, then it's probably not really worth my time to go see them, I'll just keep doing my thing here in Philly. Finally, my third reason for staying in Philly this weekend is that my dad has offered to help me pick-up a television stand from Ikea, on which I'll put my new, pre-owned television. I'll also need to buy a digital converter box and an antenna, and then I'll be set to watch football. I've effectively not had television (other than to watch dvd's) for the past three months or so (whenever the digital transition took place). Now that it's starting to get dark early, with the coming of autumn, the nights have seemed just a bit darker and lonelier lately. The distraction of television and the accompanying illusion of other human voices in my apartment will be comforting. Not to mention, watching football is one of my true and simple pleasures in life.
Labels:
football,
Laos,
New York City,
Philadelphia,
Rocky and the Baby,
Vang Vieng,
Vientiane
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
The Baby
I have two cats: Rocky and the Baby. Earlier this summer, when I took both of them to a veterinarian appointment, the vet noticed that the Baby had a lump on the back of her tongue. It was a raised whitish bump about the size of a Tums. Earlier tonight, when the Baby came out from underneath the bed (as she eventually does every night when I come home from work), I picked her up to pet her and to clean out her eyes (as I usually do, because they always have eye gunk collected at the corner of each eye). I noticed that she had dried blood in one of her nostrils. After I cleaned it up, it seemed that there was blood still inside her mouth. I held her for a few minutes, and she was content as always. So I just let her run around the apartment for a while with Rocky. Now, only a minute ago, I come into the bedroom to find that several streaks of blood are on her coat, indicating that she must've been licking her coat with a bloody tongue. I forced open her mouth to examine the back of her tongue, and it looks the same as it has for the past couple months. So I'm not sure what's going on. I just pray to God that it's nothing serious and that she's as healthy as she has been. On a positive note, she's acting as she always does. I'll say a prayer for her tonight when I go to bed.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Samsara
I feel like I'm stuck in a samsaric cycle, living the same general series of events over and over again. Every job I take is a temporary job, destined to end after a few weeks or months, just as every relationship I begin is a temporary relationship, similarly destined to end after a few weeks or months. After a lively Saturday night on the town, from dinner at Parc, to drinks at Oscar's, Continental Midtown, then down to Old City for drinks at Cuba Libre and Bleu Martini, the rest of my weekend was spent mostly in bed or on the couch, in a frozen stupor, not wanting to get up or get out because to do so would require energy that wouldn't change things anyway. It was a minor period of depression, of course, which looked at objectively is pretty silly, but it happened nonetheless. Oh well, knowing myself, I know that the stable framework and forced interaction of work is a good thing, and I look forward to that tomorrow. I try to step back from my situation, and I remind myself that my life is much better than it was when I was in law school; at least now I have an income and decent savings to fall back on if necessary. For whatever its evils, it's nice to have at least enough money to happily blow-off on a weekend night, and not feel too guilty about it. I'm also pleased with the fact that my evenings and weekends are free from bullshit homework and the resulting anxiety from not feeling sure if I remembered anything of what I just read and thus feeling exposed to potential embarassment in class. So yeah, life is not too bad now compared to my three years of law school. But life is more than avoiding embarassment or having a few bucks to blow. And so I'm back where I begin my thoughts: with the eerie feeling of living in a samsaric cycle, wondering when it will end. I have faith that I made the right decisions when it came to past relationships and, for the most part, I have generally steady faith that things will develop naturally. But on a weekend like this one, where my physical hangover and psychological malaise that resulted from a very drunken Saturday night prevented me, or at least discouraged me, from going out, and thus cubbyholed me in my overly self-reflective thoughts, my faith seemed to waver enough for me to notice and feel a little worried. But hey, what can I do? At least I wrote about it to get it off my chest. After an unproductive Labor Day, I'm ironically looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow, with hopes that this project will be rolled-over into another one.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Healthcare now
Squinting his eyes while gazing into the distance,
he thought back to the days of the Pistons:
when Detroit was strong, and days seemed long,
and his wages didn't seem like a pittance.
But now the plant is closed, and so his home is foreclosed,
and all his dreams are nothing but wishes.
To add one more line to this pitiful rhyme:
his efforts at healthcare are fiercely opposed
by forces that seem kinda vicious.
he thought back to the days of the Pistons:
when Detroit was strong, and days seemed long,
and his wages didn't seem like a pittance.
But now the plant is closed, and so his home is foreclosed,
and all his dreams are nothing but wishes.
To add one more line to this pitiful rhyme:
his efforts at healthcare are fiercely opposed
by forces that seem kinda vicious.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Facebook status update
Congratulations on the successful launch of Space Shuttle Discovery. One of the astronauts is Jose Hernandez, the son of Mexican-born migrant farmworkers. As a child, Hernandez worked alongside his family in the fields throughout California, picking cucumbers and tomatoes. Much respect to him and all the crewmembers. Godspeed!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Facebook status update
When things started getting heated at the board meeting, I violently popped the collar of my dress shirt, and my "crew" cupped their hands over their moufs and said "ooooohhh" while pointing at the opposing professionals.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Movietime
It's another overcast and relatively cool day for July in Philly. I played with the idea of pulling an all-nighter last night, just for the hell of it, but I ultimately decided against it around 6 in the morning. So, as one might guess, I slept in until 3pm this afternoon. The day is totally lost, which I'm only slightly bitter about.
For the past half-hour, I've been catching-up on washing dishes. And for some reason I got to thinking about Cherise, and about how I still harbor some bitterness from flying all the way out to San Diego in order to spend only 8 hours on Valentine's Day with Cherise, and how all I got at the end of the day was a weak kiss on the lips -- the kind of kiss that a grandmother would give to her grandchild. It was total bullshit. But I realize that I needed that in order to feel convinced that, despite anything Cherise says or does, she simply does not love me. And I need to move on from her. For the most part, I've done that. But on occasions like the one just now, while washing the dishes, that bitterness bubbles to the surface. It's as much anger directed toward her -- for having strung me along for so long, for not having the dignity to admit her lack of love for me and thus for not having the courage to end our relationship years ago; as much as it's anger also directed at myself -- at my own ignorance, self-imposed much of the time, that allowed me to continue in an unfulfilling and fruitless relationship, all for the love of a body and an image. Oh well, it's all part of living and learning, I guess.
Recently Cherise will periodically "poke" me on facebook, but I always remove the "poke" instead of responding to it. If she has something to say to me, she can write it in an email or pick-up the phone and call me. If she merely wants to provoke the attention of a guy who fucked her for four years, then she's wasting her time. I'm much more interested in the girls that I know now and any girl that I may meet tomorrow.
Well, that's all the venting that I'm gonna do today. It was on my mind, so I figured that I would spill it out here. And, you know what, I feel better for getting it out.
As a postscript, the title to this post refers to the fact that I'm gonna watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" in just a little bit. I hope its good.
For the past half-hour, I've been catching-up on washing dishes. And for some reason I got to thinking about Cherise, and about how I still harbor some bitterness from flying all the way out to San Diego in order to spend only 8 hours on Valentine's Day with Cherise, and how all I got at the end of the day was a weak kiss on the lips -- the kind of kiss that a grandmother would give to her grandchild. It was total bullshit. But I realize that I needed that in order to feel convinced that, despite anything Cherise says or does, she simply does not love me. And I need to move on from her. For the most part, I've done that. But on occasions like the one just now, while washing the dishes, that bitterness bubbles to the surface. It's as much anger directed toward her -- for having strung me along for so long, for not having the dignity to admit her lack of love for me and thus for not having the courage to end our relationship years ago; as much as it's anger also directed at myself -- at my own ignorance, self-imposed much of the time, that allowed me to continue in an unfulfilling and fruitless relationship, all for the love of a body and an image. Oh well, it's all part of living and learning, I guess.
Recently Cherise will periodically "poke" me on facebook, but I always remove the "poke" instead of responding to it. If she has something to say to me, she can write it in an email or pick-up the phone and call me. If she merely wants to provoke the attention of a guy who fucked her for four years, then she's wasting her time. I'm much more interested in the girls that I know now and any girl that I may meet tomorrow.
Well, that's all the venting that I'm gonna do today. It was on my mind, so I figured that I would spill it out here. And, you know what, I feel better for getting it out.
As a postscript, the title to this post refers to the fact that I'm gonna watch "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" in just a little bit. I hope its good.
Red, red wine
Last night I finished the book "The Sun Also Rises" by Ernest Hemingway. It was a good book about American and British expatriates in Paris who decide to take a trip to Pamplona, Spain for las fiestas sanfermines, or more popularly, the running of the bulls. Much of the book's action took place in cafes and bars. For that reason, when Julie suggested that we go out for Center City Sips tonight, I told her that I wanted to go to a Hemingway-esque place. We settled on Caribou Cafe, on Walnut Street between 11th & 12th. If you've never been there, the place does a very nice job of recreating a typical Parisian bistro, down to the wicker chairs and "black cat" posters. I drank three red sangrias there. After the first one, I told the waitress to bring the next one without any ice; I knew what I was there for. From Caribou, we walked up Walnut to Rum Bar, where we met Wagner and the girl he's been dating for a couple months, Adrianna. They were there with several of Adrianna's ballerina friends. I drank two red wines, Cabernet Sauvignon, I think. After that I was feeling "pretty tight" (to use a phrase from "The Sun Also Rises"). So, after talking politics and law school with Maggie, an attractive 25 year-old girl who was friends with Adrianna, I suggested to Julie that we take a walk to the park. In Rittenhouse, we found a comfortable spot on the grass to lay down and look up at the one star visible in the city's nighttime sky. It was pretty relaxing. A little while later Wagner and Adrianna found us and we all stood up to talk. Adrianna showed us her two tattoos; I showed-off mine. Those guys took off and Julie and I came back to my place to hang out while I warmed up some spaghetti for dinner. I finished it off with a nice salad of greens, tomatoes, dried cranberries, and crumbled goat cheese. Now, since walking Julie home and then returning back to the double-deuce & Spruce earlier, I've been wasting time on the internet all night long. Only now did I decide to post something on the blog. Although I'm vaguely tired, I'm not in the mood to go to bed. That may not make any sense, but I guess I'm in an obscurely restless mood tonight. With coffee earlier today and a lot of wine later in the evening, along with meeting friends, I felt a bit like Jake Barnes, the protagonist in "The Sun Also Rises." It was a good night.
Labels:
books,
Double-Deuce and Spruce,
law,
Paris,
Philadelphia,
politics,
Rittenhouse Square,
Walnut Street
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Overcast
It's overcast and cool in Philly today. I vaguely remember waking up earlier this morning to a healthy rainshower, heard through the windows I leave open for most of the spring-summer-fall. That was probably around 8 or 9am, the time that most everyone else was getting ready and on their way to work. I rolled over in bed and fell back to sleep.
I just got done reading a chapter of "The Sun Also Rises" by Ernest Hemingway. I sat in the reclining chair near the living-room window. For some reason there was an occasional smell of peaches, but not the smell from the actual fruit, it was the smell you'd associate with the peaches-and-cream flavor of Quaker oatmeal. I enjoyed the smell, despite being perplexed at its unknown source.
This past weekend was pretty good. Being temporarily unemployed (or, as my friend Julie calls it: "funemployed"), I decided to take advantage of the free time and take a trip that I haven't done for well over half a decade (as my friend Corey reminded me last week): south to DC and Baltimore. On Friday late afternoon, I walked to 30th Street Station to catch an Amtrak heading to DC. It was a two-hour ride that was pretty pleasant. Somewhere between Wilmington and Baltimore, I started talking to the girl sitting next to me. She was on her way from her Central Park apartment to visit her parents in Phoenix, Maryland, about 45 minutes north of Baltimore, on their multiacre property; she needed to recharge in the peace and quiet of the countryside. We wished each other a nice weekend as she got off the train at Baltimore.
Arriving in Union Station in DC, I was very impressed with the size, architecture, and quality of shops in the station. Philly's 30th Street Station has amazing architecture, but does not come anywhere close to rivaling Union Station's commercial appeal. Mike eventually met me in the food court, where I was eating some rice and bourbon chicken for dinner.
We took the metro to U Street, our destination for the night. We went to Marvin's, Saint-Etas, Gate 54, and Black Cat. My favorite spot, by far, was Gate 54. It had the feeling of an old World War I bunker, complete with street signs and war paraphernalia on the walls. The fact that it was underground and dimly lit gave it a sense of coziness. And the dj really set things right by playing a lot of Motown before eventually transitioning to some old school, jazz-influenced hip-hop. The whole scene brought me back to my early days in Philly, and my favorite spot of all-time: Soma, which no longer exists. I may be going back to DC more frequently, if for no other reason than to soak up the positive, nostalgic vibe that I get at Gate 54.
Saturday, Mike and I went to downtown Silver Spring for lunch. Then, after stopping back at his place shortly, we hit the road to Baltimore. After patiently hunting down a parking spot near the corner of Charles and Chase streets, we walked to the Metro Art Gallery, where Evan's brother Ryan was playing a gig with his band, Rain the Shining. Mike and I had only missed two songs by the time we got there. The gig was part of the larger event: Artscape. Walking to the gallery, there were tons of artists' booths and displays, and tons of pedestrians crowding Charles Street, which was blocked-off to traffic. The weather was clear and low-humidity; it was perfect.
After the show, we got a jerk chicken dinner from a food vendor under a tent. Then, we drove to Bourbon Street, a club on Guilford Street in Baltimore. We hung out there for the rest of the night, on the roofdeck. I talked to several people over the course of the night. At one point an attractive girl, whose name I later got to be Alexa, walked by, so I waved at her, she said I was "hot," so I waved her over to me, she came directly up to me and we spontaneously exchanged a warm hug; she gave me her phone number without me even asking, and she told me to meet her later at some bar in Towson.
Despite the invitation, and our initial plan to do late-night in Baltimore, Mike and I decided to take the plunge and just drive back to Philly right then, at around 3 in the morning. We drove north up Charles Street, passing through Loyola College (prompting me to send a late-night text to Jess Lauria), and eventually getting on to 695, then on to 95-North. We stopped once at a rest stop to get a large coffee, our fuel to make it the rest of the way back to the double-deuce & Spruce. We finally arrived at around 5am. But I couldn't fall asleep for at least a couple hours, probably because of the caffeine still coursing through my veins.
The rest of the weekend was typical: coffee at La Colombe, hanging out in Rittenhouse Square, going to church at St. Patrick's (Mike joined me for that). So that's that. Now my sleep schedule is still messed up, but I'm trying to get back on track. It was a good weekend and thus totally worth it.
I just got done reading a chapter of "The Sun Also Rises" by Ernest Hemingway. I sat in the reclining chair near the living-room window. For some reason there was an occasional smell of peaches, but not the smell from the actual fruit, it was the smell you'd associate with the peaches-and-cream flavor of Quaker oatmeal. I enjoyed the smell, despite being perplexed at its unknown source.
This past weekend was pretty good. Being temporarily unemployed (or, as my friend Julie calls it: "funemployed"), I decided to take advantage of the free time and take a trip that I haven't done for well over half a decade (as my friend Corey reminded me last week): south to DC and Baltimore. On Friday late afternoon, I walked to 30th Street Station to catch an Amtrak heading to DC. It was a two-hour ride that was pretty pleasant. Somewhere between Wilmington and Baltimore, I started talking to the girl sitting next to me. She was on her way from her Central Park apartment to visit her parents in Phoenix, Maryland, about 45 minutes north of Baltimore, on their multiacre property; she needed to recharge in the peace and quiet of the countryside. We wished each other a nice weekend as she got off the train at Baltimore.
Arriving in Union Station in DC, I was very impressed with the size, architecture, and quality of shops in the station. Philly's 30th Street Station has amazing architecture, but does not come anywhere close to rivaling Union Station's commercial appeal. Mike eventually met me in the food court, where I was eating some rice and bourbon chicken for dinner.
We took the metro to U Street, our destination for the night. We went to Marvin's, Saint-Etas, Gate 54, and Black Cat. My favorite spot, by far, was Gate 54. It had the feeling of an old World War I bunker, complete with street signs and war paraphernalia on the walls. The fact that it was underground and dimly lit gave it a sense of coziness. And the dj really set things right by playing a lot of Motown before eventually transitioning to some old school, jazz-influenced hip-hop. The whole scene brought me back to my early days in Philly, and my favorite spot of all-time: Soma, which no longer exists. I may be going back to DC more frequently, if for no other reason than to soak up the positive, nostalgic vibe that I get at Gate 54.
Saturday, Mike and I went to downtown Silver Spring for lunch. Then, after stopping back at his place shortly, we hit the road to Baltimore. After patiently hunting down a parking spot near the corner of Charles and Chase streets, we walked to the Metro Art Gallery, where Evan's brother Ryan was playing a gig with his band, Rain the Shining. Mike and I had only missed two songs by the time we got there. The gig was part of the larger event: Artscape. Walking to the gallery, there were tons of artists' booths and displays, and tons of pedestrians crowding Charles Street, which was blocked-off to traffic. The weather was clear and low-humidity; it was perfect.
After the show, we got a jerk chicken dinner from a food vendor under a tent. Then, we drove to Bourbon Street, a club on Guilford Street in Baltimore. We hung out there for the rest of the night, on the roofdeck. I talked to several people over the course of the night. At one point an attractive girl, whose name I later got to be Alexa, walked by, so I waved at her, she said I was "hot," so I waved her over to me, she came directly up to me and we spontaneously exchanged a warm hug; she gave me her phone number without me even asking, and she told me to meet her later at some bar in Towson.
Despite the invitation, and our initial plan to do late-night in Baltimore, Mike and I decided to take the plunge and just drive back to Philly right then, at around 3 in the morning. We drove north up Charles Street, passing through Loyola College (prompting me to send a late-night text to Jess Lauria), and eventually getting on to 695, then on to 95-North. We stopped once at a rest stop to get a large coffee, our fuel to make it the rest of the way back to the double-deuce & Spruce. We finally arrived at around 5am. But I couldn't fall asleep for at least a couple hours, probably because of the caffeine still coursing through my veins.
The rest of the weekend was typical: coffee at La Colombe, hanging out in Rittenhouse Square, going to church at St. Patrick's (Mike joined me for that). So that's that. Now my sleep schedule is still messed up, but I'm trying to get back on track. It was a good weekend and thus totally worth it.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Injuries -- new and old
I hurt my back playing tennis with Priscilla about a month ago. It still hasn't healed completely. When I went in for my yearly physical exam with the doctor a couple weeks ago, I mentioned it to the doctor. He told me it was probably a pulled ligament or muscle in my lower back. He gave me a worksheet with some lumbar stretching exercises, which I have still yet to do. A side effect of the back injury is that I haven't gone to the gym more than a couple times in the past month. So I've lost a few pounds of muscle that I would normally have maintained. I've resolved to start going to the gym on a regular basis again, in spite of the back. If I have to do a lighter work-out, it's still better than nothing.
Another side effect of the back injury is that I haven't played tennis since the evening that I hurt it. I had started getting pretty good, finally learning how to serve and developing a pretty good back-hand stroke with a little bit of back-spin on it. Not playing has also, I believe, affected the dynamic of spending time with Priscilla; before hurting my back, we were playing about once a week. It was a nice way to spend time together and have fun, especially doing something that's an important part of her life. There are deeper issues affecting our dynamic, but I'm aware of the fact that not playing tennis has been a loss. Oh well, I do believe that things happen for a reason. In the end I just pray to God that my back eventually heals completely, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Finally, since I've now resurrected this blog, I've felt a strange compulsion to express this final thought -- apparently picking-up where I had left off several months ago -- I'm really pleased that my short relationship with Diana came to an end. The reaction of her friend, Yadira, even more than Diana's own reaction, exposed to me the truth that I would not want to be part of that circle. It simply wasn't meant to be, and I accept that unequivocally. I expect that they would say the same thing about me, and that's just fine with me. I wish Diana the best, but I'm content to leave that experience behind as a lesson learned: be slow, cautious, and methodical when starting a relationship with a girl, even if it means being conservative about expressing my feelings, until time passes and the relationship solidifies over the course of shared experiences.
Enough said for today . . . I hope you enjoy the video below for "Panic Switch." I heard the song on Radio 104.5 not too long ago, and I pumped up the volume and bass to enjoy it.
Another side effect of the back injury is that I haven't played tennis since the evening that I hurt it. I had started getting pretty good, finally learning how to serve and developing a pretty good back-hand stroke with a little bit of back-spin on it. Not playing has also, I believe, affected the dynamic of spending time with Priscilla; before hurting my back, we were playing about once a week. It was a nice way to spend time together and have fun, especially doing something that's an important part of her life. There are deeper issues affecting our dynamic, but I'm aware of the fact that not playing tennis has been a loss. Oh well, I do believe that things happen for a reason. In the end I just pray to God that my back eventually heals completely, hopefully sooner rather than later.
Finally, since I've now resurrected this blog, I've felt a strange compulsion to express this final thought -- apparently picking-up where I had left off several months ago -- I'm really pleased that my short relationship with Diana came to an end. The reaction of her friend, Yadira, even more than Diana's own reaction, exposed to me the truth that I would not want to be part of that circle. It simply wasn't meant to be, and I accept that unequivocally. I expect that they would say the same thing about me, and that's just fine with me. I wish Diana the best, but I'm content to leave that experience behind as a lesson learned: be slow, cautious, and methodical when starting a relationship with a girl, even if it means being conservative about expressing my feelings, until time passes and the relationship solidifies over the course of shared experiences.
Enough said for today . . . I hope you enjoy the video below for "Panic Switch." I heard the song on Radio 104.5 not too long ago, and I pumped up the volume and bass to enjoy it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Panic Switch
This is one of my favorite new songs, "Panic Switch" by Silversun Pickups. It has a really cool vibe, somehow it conveys smug self-pity while simultaneously conveying a certain rebellious coolness. That probably doesn't make any sense to you, but that's my best attempt at describing what I get from the song.
Also, I love the video because of the drummer. I think the drumming in the song is really good. And (as the comments on Youtube note), the drummer looks like Animal from the Muppet Show.
Enjoy:
Also, I love the video because of the drummer. I think the drumming in the song is really good. And (as the comments on Youtube note), the drummer looks like Animal from the Muppet Show.
Enjoy:
Email to Pito
A couple days ago I called every single legal staffing agency in the city. Yesterday I had a registration interview with one of them. And a guy at another agency told me that he has a couple projects slated to begin in early August, although he gives preference to people who have previously been employed through his agency. I'm hooked back in to unemployment compensation, and having already called in my first claim, I should receive my first payment by this coming Monday. Today I went in for a visit to PLA; it always makes me feel good to be received so well by so many people; I don't think there's any better place for that than PLA, so it was really nice. To take advantage of the free time, I'm very likely heading down to DC tomorrow to hang out with Mike from Gettysburg, then going to Ellicott City / Baltimore on Saturday to finally see Evan's house. As Corey reminded me, it's been well over half a decade since I've been down that way, so I'm definitely overdue for a trip, considering the number of times that Mike and Evan have each visited me here in Philly. I may take you up on the pool offer some time after that. I hope things are going well in Newark and Levittown. In the meantime, stay healthy and consider doing something off the beaten path this weekend, it would be good for you.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Facebook status update
One of my favorite groups, Los Amigos Invisibles, is performing at World Cafe Live tomorrow at 8pm. I'm going with some amigos, you should bring your amigos, and we'll see the Amigos! http:// tickets.worldcafelive.com/
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Email to Pito
Well, about an hour after that last email I sent to you, one of the associates came down to tell us that the case had settled, which of course meant that the project was over. And then last week I got the email that my score was not high enough on the FSOT. I was surprised, but not shocked: the competition is much higher with so many people flocking to recession-proof government jobs. I'm not sure if I'll even bother to request the score breakdown, but I imagine it was my honesty on the biographical section (e.g., I don't volunteer, I don't usually stay late at work, I haven't taken courses to improve my skills) that brought down my score just low enough. Oh well. I'm not too disappointed because I was lukewarm about the idea when I really let myself think about it; the effect on the future of my personal life was a real consideration weighing against the idea. Getting pinkeye a couple nights ago has kept me from going out at all, including to the gym. So I'm trying to clean my apartment, which I'm convinced I'm allergic to, with all the cat hair, mold, etc. Everything else is pretty good, though, so despite the vague depression of being home all the time, it's all good in the hood.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Email to Pito
I stayed at work until 9:30 last night in order to meet a deadline. Fortunately the project has continued to provide a source of employment and income, and with the outlook looking good, hopefully it lasts for a while longer. Last Friday night in Hoboken was a fun time. Paul was non-existent once we were out at the bar, he drank a lot of shots in honor of his own birthday. That's why I made sure that Corey was gonna be around. I met him at Penn Station and from there the two of us took the Path to Hoboken. We stayed at one bar all night, and by the end of the night, we had talked to every group of girls in the place, no exaggeration. I even met a group of really attractive girls from Ramsey. Tonight I'm thinking of going to the Femi Kuti concert at World Cafe Live, but it'll be a game-time decision. Besides that, I'm gonna work a bunch of hours this weekend. I have the movies Into the Wild and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button waiting for me to watch at some point, maybe I'll watch one or both this weekend. Hope you get a chance to get out on the bike this weekend, since the rain may stay away. Consider my three ideas or to hell with them, but you don't need me to tell you that.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Email to Pito
Hey sorry for the late email this week. Along the same lines, my father's day card for you will likely be a day late in the mail, but keep an eye out for it just the same. Last weekend was pretty good, Evan came in on Saturday afternoon and we played two hours of basketball at the courts at the end of Spruce Street. Then we drove to Cinnaminson for Bill's daughter's first birthday party. We drove back in to Philly to pick-up Corey at his favorite coffeeshop, after he'd taken the bus down from New York, and the three of us had a fun night on the town. I'm leaving directly from work today to head up to Hoboken to celebrate Paul's birthday, should be a fun time. Just to give you a heads-up, in case you wanna make sure you're not around, Jess may try to visit you on Sunday. She and I have wondered why you don't communicate with us. Well, have a great weekend! Hopefully it doesn't rain too much!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Email to Pito
Hey, hopefully you had a nice weekend and things are going well. Yesterday I took the foreign service officer test at the Community College of Philadelphia; it lasted three hours. Despite minimal preparation (some practice questions), I think I did pretty well; I'll get the results in about a month. The true test will be the oral exam, which is brutal and which very few people pass. I played tennis for two hours this past Saturday, was taught how to serve, my fifth try was actually an ace. I'm playing again this evening after work, hopefully my game continues to improve. Jessica and I have been wondering why you don't communicate with us. Hope you're healthy and happy. Take care.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Email to Pito
Hey, hope that June started out well for you. This weekend should be good. Evan comes in for a visit tomorrow night with his wife Amy. Evan's younger cousin is celebrating her 21st birthday in Philly, so we're all going out to support the festivities. I'll probably play tennis on Saturday; it'll be the fourth time in the past two months. Stay resolute with the cold turkey decision. Have a great weekend!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Facebook status update
"Cause I'm a freaky streaker like Winnie the Pooh: with a t-shirt and no pants, I dance the boogaloo."
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Email to Pito
Hey, I hope you had a nice Memorial Day weekend. I enjoyed a long weekend down along the Gulf Coast: flew in to Tampa, drove up the coast and across the panhandle to Panama City Beach, drove back to Tampa to party and hit the beach at Clearwater. I'm glad to hear that you quit cold turkey, keep it up!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Facebook status update
It wasn't until I was walking in the door at work, wondering why everyone was looking at me kinda funny, that I realized I forgot to put on pants this morning!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Checkin' back in
Hey folks, how's it going? Here's the deal: for at least the past month I've had to come to the coffeeshop in order to connect to internet, and that's the reason I haven't been posting too much.
Things have been pretty chill, still working on that project in a Center City firm, but wondering how much longer that's gonna last, hoping that it lasts until the end of March, if I'm a lucky duck. But just this past Saturday I officially submitted my online registration for what would be a career track; I applied to take the foreign service officer test. I'll sit for the exam this June, and depending on how well I do, I'll likely be asked two or three months after that to go to Washington, D.C. to take the oral exam. By the beginning of 2010, there's a decent chance that I'll be working in a foreign country. So keep your fingers crossed for me, thanks!
This past Saturday night, Corey and Evan came into town to visit me. The brief run-down of where we went (purely for the purposes of my own recollection) was: Sidecar, Ten Stone, Parc, Alfa, and Denim. Needless to say, that last place should trigger the correct guess that it was a late night; didn't get back to the double-deuce until somewhere around 4am. Although I did a vodka shot at Ten Stone and an Irish car bomb shot at Alfa, I wasn't completely out of my brain; I can say with confidence, though, that I was feeling pretty toasty by the end of our long evening.
Well, the other nice thing about this past weekend was that the weather was pretty nice: our first real taste of spring with temps near 70 on Saturday. Corey got into 30th Street Station at 2:30pm, and after I dropped-off some groceries from Trader Joe's, we walked over to Rittenhouse Square to enjoy the sight of all the passers-by, especially the females. We sat there for a while, enjoying the weather and generally catching up. I suggested that we take a walk down Walnut Street, and as we were leaving the park, I heard my name; it was Teresa, my friend from Friends of Farmworkers. I haven't seen Teresa for at least a couple of years, so it was cool to see her and catch up; her future mother-in-law, as she claimed, was flying in from Puerto Rico early that evening, and she was just hanging out eating a salad before she had to catch the R1 to the airport.
Anyway, I really oughtta get going home now. I'm representing one of my clients at a child support hearing tomorrow morning and I need to go home to eat dinner and do some final, last-minute prep for the hearing. The feeling I get the night before a hearing, and as I go to it, are very similar to the hyped-up feelings I got before football games in high school and college; there's a certain acute awareness that's part adrenaline rush and part psychological coming-into-focus for the big event. As much as I didn't want to represent this guy at tomorrow's hearing (because, in my estimation, this will likely be my first-ever true loser of a case), I'm happy for the primed feeling that I'm already starting to feel. Oh well, if I can possibly get back in here sooner than a month from now, I'll let you know how it goes. Peace out, friendly readers, and I hope all is well in your corner of the world!
Things have been pretty chill, still working on that project in a Center City firm, but wondering how much longer that's gonna last, hoping that it lasts until the end of March, if I'm a lucky duck. But just this past Saturday I officially submitted my online registration for what would be a career track; I applied to take the foreign service officer test. I'll sit for the exam this June, and depending on how well I do, I'll likely be asked two or three months after that to go to Washington, D.C. to take the oral exam. By the beginning of 2010, there's a decent chance that I'll be working in a foreign country. So keep your fingers crossed for me, thanks!
This past Saturday night, Corey and Evan came into town to visit me. The brief run-down of where we went (purely for the purposes of my own recollection) was: Sidecar, Ten Stone, Parc, Alfa, and Denim. Needless to say, that last place should trigger the correct guess that it was a late night; didn't get back to the double-deuce until somewhere around 4am. Although I did a vodka shot at Ten Stone and an Irish car bomb shot at Alfa, I wasn't completely out of my brain; I can say with confidence, though, that I was feeling pretty toasty by the end of our long evening.
Well, the other nice thing about this past weekend was that the weather was pretty nice: our first real taste of spring with temps near 70 on Saturday. Corey got into 30th Street Station at 2:30pm, and after I dropped-off some groceries from Trader Joe's, we walked over to Rittenhouse Square to enjoy the sight of all the passers-by, especially the females. We sat there for a while, enjoying the weather and generally catching up. I suggested that we take a walk down Walnut Street, and as we were leaving the park, I heard my name; it was Teresa, my friend from Friends of Farmworkers. I haven't seen Teresa for at least a couple of years, so it was cool to see her and catch up; her future mother-in-law, as she claimed, was flying in from Puerto Rico early that evening, and she was just hanging out eating a salad before she had to catch the R1 to the airport.
Anyway, I really oughtta get going home now. I'm representing one of my clients at a child support hearing tomorrow morning and I need to go home to eat dinner and do some final, last-minute prep for the hearing. The feeling I get the night before a hearing, and as I go to it, are very similar to the hyped-up feelings I got before football games in high school and college; there's a certain acute awareness that's part adrenaline rush and part psychological coming-into-focus for the big event. As much as I didn't want to represent this guy at tomorrow's hearing (because, in my estimation, this will likely be my first-ever true loser of a case), I'm happy for the primed feeling that I'm already starting to feel. Oh well, if I can possibly get back in here sooner than a month from now, I'll let you know how it goes. Peace out, friendly readers, and I hope all is well in your corner of the world!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Whoa, look who it is!!!
It's been a lil while, huh? Well, let's catch-up. Since my last post, not too much has been going on. I've been working ridiculous hours, billing almost sixty hours per week. This leaves me with very little time, and usually even less energy to post anything on to the blog, or do anything on internet for that matter. On the extracurricular side, I've gone to a couple Temple men's basketball games, both of which they won. And I've gone out a couple random times to get a few beers. Speaking of which, I went out last night to meet up with Tobin (who I hope is pleased now that I've put up some new material) and two of his girl-friends at McGillin's, on Drury Street between 12th and 13th Streets, in the section of the city that certain people are now calling "Midtown Village." After working for a good chunk of my Saturday, I had enough energy left at the end of the day to drink three beers and have some good conversation with those guys. So what else is going on? I'm just focusing on working a lot (since there's a tentative end-date to this project), and thereby trying to make a bunch of dough. As I said last night, it really sucks that when I have lots of free time, I'm very money-conscious and I don't wanna do anything that isn't free, but when I'm acquiring greenbacks, I'm so busy or tired that I don't wanna do anything other than rest up, or try to catch up on the invariably neverending list of personal things to do. On that topic, I'm in the coffeeshop right now, about to make some more progress on some online registrations. So in the interest of actually making that progress, I'm gonna end this post here. I promise that I'll try to post weekly. In the meantime, live long and prosper!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Positivity
"Life comes in phases, take the good with the bad."
"Sometimes life, it seems to stall, but never be ungrateful, y'all."
A couple of quotes from songs by the Beastie Boys, arguably my favorite music group due to their playful humor, diversity of musical genres, and occasional bits of wisdom (such as the above) to be found as nuggets throughout their songs.
Anyone who's been keeping up with me lately knows that there has been a decent amount of negativity in my life lately, much of it admittedly brought on by myself. Hey, I never said I was perfect, and just as every single one of us (unless you're God) must do, there's always room for improvement and making progress.
And speaking of making progress, I was hired today to join a project at the Philadelphia offices of one of the 15 largest law firms in the world. I interviewed with one of their associates just yesterday, and today I got the good news that they want me on-board. Of course I said yes. As is the nature of these projects, there will be an end date. But that's not a bad thing by any measure. In emotional terms, it gives me some purpose on a day-to-day basis, and brings me into daily contact with other people; perhaps I'll even make some new friends. In financial terms, of course I'll be earning more by working than what I'd been receiving in unemployment benefits (as not insignificant as they - surprisingly - were), and even better than that I'll be making even more than I was making at the end of my last project. Looking at the bigger picture, though, the greatest benefit to this project is that it takes the edge off of the urgent pressure to fulfill one of my top two pre-eminent new year's resolutions: to begin a career track (the other resolution being to be a better communicator, as that has hurt too many people, including myself). Don't get me wrong, even though I got this job, there will continue to be a certain steady determination to begin a career track. I already have a good idea as to what I would like to pursue, i.e. where my unique skills and personality traits best suit me to work. At the superstititious risk of jinxing myself, though, I'll keep these dreams and aspirations in reserve until I at least begin to make more substantive progress in real, material terms to achieving those goals. As with any true resolution, I know that I have to consciously focus on making progress toward fulfilling the objective that the resolution represents.
Anyway, I'm here at Good Karma cafe, typing these very words, and hoping that I can begin to soak up some good karma. As I wrote in an email to my friend, Lisa, in Dubai, earlier this evening: the Eagles are feeding off of the cautious optimism of the city of Philadelphia, an optimism that is no longer dulled by cynicism as it was in the past, due to the Phillies' breaking the championship ice just a few months ago. The cynical, self-defeating edge to past optimism has been largely defused by the Phillies, so now there's just the good energy of truly "believing". Let's all root for the Eagles, and for the growth of that positivity in the city of brotherly love. E-A-G-L-E-S, go Eagles!!! And may we all turn the page to a positive, happy and healthy new year.
"Sometimes life, it seems to stall, but never be ungrateful, y'all."
A couple of quotes from songs by the Beastie Boys, arguably my favorite music group due to their playful humor, diversity of musical genres, and occasional bits of wisdom (such as the above) to be found as nuggets throughout their songs.
Anyone who's been keeping up with me lately knows that there has been a decent amount of negativity in my life lately, much of it admittedly brought on by myself. Hey, I never said I was perfect, and just as every single one of us (unless you're God) must do, there's always room for improvement and making progress.
And speaking of making progress, I was hired today to join a project at the Philadelphia offices of one of the 15 largest law firms in the world. I interviewed with one of their associates just yesterday, and today I got the good news that they want me on-board. Of course I said yes. As is the nature of these projects, there will be an end date. But that's not a bad thing by any measure. In emotional terms, it gives me some purpose on a day-to-day basis, and brings me into daily contact with other people; perhaps I'll even make some new friends. In financial terms, of course I'll be earning more by working than what I'd been receiving in unemployment benefits (as not insignificant as they - surprisingly - were), and even better than that I'll be making even more than I was making at the end of my last project. Looking at the bigger picture, though, the greatest benefit to this project is that it takes the edge off of the urgent pressure to fulfill one of my top two pre-eminent new year's resolutions: to begin a career track (the other resolution being to be a better communicator, as that has hurt too many people, including myself). Don't get me wrong, even though I got this job, there will continue to be a certain steady determination to begin a career track. I already have a good idea as to what I would like to pursue, i.e. where my unique skills and personality traits best suit me to work. At the superstititious risk of jinxing myself, though, I'll keep these dreams and aspirations in reserve until I at least begin to make more substantive progress in real, material terms to achieving those goals. As with any true resolution, I know that I have to consciously focus on making progress toward fulfilling the objective that the resolution represents.
Anyway, I'm here at Good Karma cafe, typing these very words, and hoping that I can begin to soak up some good karma. As I wrote in an email to my friend, Lisa, in Dubai, earlier this evening: the Eagles are feeding off of the cautious optimism of the city of Philadelphia, an optimism that is no longer dulled by cynicism as it was in the past, due to the Phillies' breaking the championship ice just a few months ago. The cynical, self-defeating edge to past optimism has been largely defused by the Phillies, so now there's just the good energy of truly "believing". Let's all root for the Eagles, and for the growth of that positivity in the city of brotherly love. E-A-G-L-E-S, go Eagles!!! And may we all turn the page to a positive, happy and healthy new year.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
6.2 earthquake in Costa Rica
Just this past Thursday, a 6.2 earthquake struck Costa Rica. The epicenter was located 10 kilometers east of Volcan Poas. My Tia Tere lives just a few miles from Poas. Fortunately I received an email from my cousin Yorlen yesterday saying that they had spoken with Tia Tere, and although there was a lot of structural damage to the homes and buildings where she lives, everyone was safe and sound, thank God. Yorlen said that in San Jose, the capital city (where she lives), the earthquake felt strong and lasted a long time.
Last time I checked on the website of La Nacion, there are at least 15 dead and over 100 people missing as a result of the earthquake. Several people, including a couple of tourists, died at a waterfall: Catarata La Paz. Last time I was in Costa Rica, in August 2007, we drove past that waterfall through some really treacherously winding roads through the mountains of la Cordillera Central. I can only try to imagine what it must have been like to be there at the time of a strong earthquake; the roads are scary enough when the ground is still.
In fact, here's a photo of my Tia Sula standing in front of Catarata La Paz, August 2007:

Please keep the people of Costa Rica in your prayers; may God save those who are missing, pray that they are found alive.
Last time I checked on the website of La Nacion, there are at least 15 dead and over 100 people missing as a result of the earthquake. Several people, including a couple of tourists, died at a waterfall: Catarata La Paz. Last time I was in Costa Rica, in August 2007, we drove past that waterfall through some really treacherously winding roads through the mountains of la Cordillera Central. I can only try to imagine what it must have been like to be there at the time of a strong earthquake; the roads are scary enough when the ground is still.
In fact, here's a photo of my Tia Sula standing in front of Catarata La Paz, August 2007:

Please keep the people of Costa Rica in your prayers; may God save those who are missing, pray that they are found alive.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Books and quotations
I'm reading the book Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. I'm almost halfway done right now. It's not a particularly well-written book, if compared to Hemingway or Baldwin or Morrison or Dos Passos or numerous other well-acclaimed authors. But the book is serving its purpose. There is a suspenseful plot that keeps me turning the pages and it's a nice escape from everyday life. After recently reading a heavy history book, this is exactly what the doctor ordered.
I'm not too sure yet what I want to read next. Not that I have to decide for about another week, but right now I'm leaning toward either non-fiction regarding immigration issues, or some philosophy by Marcuse, or more likely than not, another good fiction work, probably a classic, like something by Cather. We'll see; I'll keep you posted.
Now, some random quotations from books that I've previously read:
"I think that humans are the products of struggles and difficulties, that problems gradually mold a person in the same way that a lathe shapes a piece of material -- in this case, the matter and spirit of a human being." -- Fidel Castro, Fidel: My Early Years
"When do we say that a man has put his life in order? It is when he has achieved an understanding of his life and conformed his conduct to what he believes to be true." -- Albert Camus, Between Hell and Reason: Essays from the Resistance Newspaper Combat, 1944-1947
"don't try to cloud my healthy eye with your melancholy breath!" -- Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer
"Each of us must be tempered in some fire. Nobody had more to do with choosing the fire that tempered me than myself, and instead of finding fault with the fire I give thanks that I had the metal to take the temper and hold it." -- Jack Black, You Can't Win
"Man lives only to learn. And if he learns it is because that is the nature of his lot, for good or bad." -- Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge
I'm not too sure yet what I want to read next. Not that I have to decide for about another week, but right now I'm leaning toward either non-fiction regarding immigration issues, or some philosophy by Marcuse, or more likely than not, another good fiction work, probably a classic, like something by Cather. We'll see; I'll keep you posted.
Now, some random quotations from books that I've previously read:
"I think that humans are the products of struggles and difficulties, that problems gradually mold a person in the same way that a lathe shapes a piece of material -- in this case, the matter and spirit of a human being." -- Fidel Castro, Fidel: My Early Years
"When do we say that a man has put his life in order? It is when he has achieved an understanding of his life and conformed his conduct to what he believes to be true." -- Albert Camus, Between Hell and Reason: Essays from the Resistance Newspaper Combat, 1944-1947
"don't try to cloud my healthy eye with your melancholy breath!" -- Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer
"Each of us must be tempered in some fire. Nobody had more to do with choosing the fire that tempered me than myself, and instead of finding fault with the fire I give thanks that I had the metal to take the temper and hold it." -- Jack Black, You Can't Win
"Man lives only to learn. And if he learns it is because that is the nature of his lot, for good or bad." -- Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge
Ridiculous
Reality television can really suck you in because there's always a lot of drama. But usually after watching a couple episodes in a row, you feel dumber for having watched it. That's how this whole situation has become. This is my last post on this topic, because it has gotten past the point of ridiculous.
To lie: to make a statement that one knows is false, esp. with intent to deceive. Keep this definition, straight from Webster's Dictionary, in mind as you read the following.
From the time I met Diana until I returned from my trip, I made statements based on how I felt at the time: Diana was a fun girl, she showed me a lot of attention, and we seemed to have a connection. I emailed her every single day during my trip to southeast Asia. Did I have to do that? Not at all. As the cliche goes, actions speak louder than words. During a trip to the other side of the world, where every minute of my time was precious, where I could be doing plenty of other things, every single day I emailed Diana. And not only that, but I called her on the telephone from southeast Asia more than I called my own family. Don't anyone dare call me a liar.
From the moment I met Diana until well past my birthday into mid-December, I did not kiss another girl, I did not so much as touch another girl. Again, actions speak louder than words. I respected and cared for Diana so much that I remained faithful to her for every minute of our undefined and short-lived relationship. I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. So don't anyone dare call me a liar.
Part of living life means sometimes trying to figure out how you feel, even when you can't put your finger on what it is that's making you doubt or feel ambiguous. At some point toward the end of my trip (I cannot pinpoint the exact date), I began to have doubts about my relationship with Diana. Am I allowed to have doubts? Am I allowed to change my mind? I'm human, so of course I am. Any mature person understands this.
Unfortunately, after returning home, by around Thanksgiving, I had come to the conclusion that my doubts about Diana were just too big to ignore; and I knew that I had to back out of the relationship, I tried to do that as gently and respectfully as possible. Because I respected and cared for Diana, I did my best not to hurt her, although there was obviously no way to avoid all hurt.
Do I feel badly that I changed my mind? Yes, because I hurt her, but No, because I know that I made the right decision. I never wanted to hurt anyone, and I never did so intentionally. If there was one mistake that I made, it was coming on too strong out of the gate. This is precisely the mistake that is causing all the caustic reactions on the part of Diana. The bottom line is that I created expectations that far exceeded what reality ended up being. For that, I sincerely apologize. It's a mistake that I know I must learn from.
Finally, I just want to address two points that Diana mentioned in a recent text message. First, her accusation that I lied to myself all along. That is absolutely not true. This would be a good time, dear reader, to refer to the definition of lie above. From beginning to end, I was honest with myself. When I felt very optimistic that the relationship was good, I expressed those feelings openly and honestly with Diana. Towards the end of the trip, when doubts started creeping in, I talked about them openly and honestly with my good friend Paul, with whom I was traveling. And when I came back and realized that those doubts became substantiated, I changed the way I was expressing myself to honestly reflect the way I was feeling: I was not going to lead-on Diana any more than I already unintentionally had. I never made any false statements to myself, nor did I ever make any false statements to Diana.
Second, Diana asked me how she has been immature in all this. I'll answer this question by giving an example from Diana's own life to illustrate. [deleted at the request of a reader].
And just as Diana went through a period of self-reflection [deleted at the request of a reader], that is just what I've done here: I went through a process of figuring out my feelings for Diana, and I made a decision to stop continuing a relationship with her. The difference with me, though: I never cheated on her. I never lied to her. I never lied to myself.
As far as all the juvenile insults flung at me by Diana's friend, they rolled right off my back. They don't even warrant a response.
I'm now done airing my dirty laundry. Look forward to future posts about football, travel, comical stories about my friends, and other nonsense. Thanks for checking in, friends!
To lie: to make a statement that one knows is false, esp. with intent to deceive. Keep this definition, straight from Webster's Dictionary, in mind as you read the following.
From the time I met Diana until I returned from my trip, I made statements based on how I felt at the time: Diana was a fun girl, she showed me a lot of attention, and we seemed to have a connection. I emailed her every single day during my trip to southeast Asia. Did I have to do that? Not at all. As the cliche goes, actions speak louder than words. During a trip to the other side of the world, where every minute of my time was precious, where I could be doing plenty of other things, every single day I emailed Diana. And not only that, but I called her on the telephone from southeast Asia more than I called my own family. Don't anyone dare call me a liar.
From the moment I met Diana until well past my birthday into mid-December, I did not kiss another girl, I did not so much as touch another girl. Again, actions speak louder than words. I respected and cared for Diana so much that I remained faithful to her for every minute of our undefined and short-lived relationship. I have nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. So don't anyone dare call me a liar.
Part of living life means sometimes trying to figure out how you feel, even when you can't put your finger on what it is that's making you doubt or feel ambiguous. At some point toward the end of my trip (I cannot pinpoint the exact date), I began to have doubts about my relationship with Diana. Am I allowed to have doubts? Am I allowed to change my mind? I'm human, so of course I am. Any mature person understands this.
Unfortunately, after returning home, by around Thanksgiving, I had come to the conclusion that my doubts about Diana were just too big to ignore; and I knew that I had to back out of the relationship, I tried to do that as gently and respectfully as possible. Because I respected and cared for Diana, I did my best not to hurt her, although there was obviously no way to avoid all hurt.
Do I feel badly that I changed my mind? Yes, because I hurt her, but No, because I know that I made the right decision. I never wanted to hurt anyone, and I never did so intentionally. If there was one mistake that I made, it was coming on too strong out of the gate. This is precisely the mistake that is causing all the caustic reactions on the part of Diana. The bottom line is that I created expectations that far exceeded what reality ended up being. For that, I sincerely apologize. It's a mistake that I know I must learn from.
Finally, I just want to address two points that Diana mentioned in a recent text message. First, her accusation that I lied to myself all along. That is absolutely not true. This would be a good time, dear reader, to refer to the definition of lie above. From beginning to end, I was honest with myself. When I felt very optimistic that the relationship was good, I expressed those feelings openly and honestly with Diana. Towards the end of the trip, when doubts started creeping in, I talked about them openly and honestly with my good friend Paul, with whom I was traveling. And when I came back and realized that those doubts became substantiated, I changed the way I was expressing myself to honestly reflect the way I was feeling: I was not going to lead-on Diana any more than I already unintentionally had. I never made any false statements to myself, nor did I ever make any false statements to Diana.
Second, Diana asked me how she has been immature in all this. I'll answer this question by giving an example from Diana's own life to illustrate. [deleted at the request of a reader].
And just as Diana went through a period of self-reflection [deleted at the request of a reader], that is just what I've done here: I went through a process of figuring out my feelings for Diana, and I made a decision to stop continuing a relationship with her. The difference with me, though: I never cheated on her. I never lied to her. I never lied to myself.
As far as all the juvenile insults flung at me by Diana's friend, they rolled right off my back. They don't even warrant a response.
I'm now done airing my dirty laundry. Look forward to future posts about football, travel, comical stories about my friends, and other nonsense. Thanks for checking in, friends!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Love hurts
Man, love really can cut both ways. Any time you give your heart to someone, you are taking a risk, whether you realize it or not, that the person to whom you are giving your heart is giving you their heart in return and that they will continue to do so. Even if you are married, don't take love for granted, because as one of my close friends just realized -- his wife left him to re-live a youth that she never really lived in the first place -- nothing is guaranteed in this life, nothing.
I couldn't sleep last night because I wanted to post my thoughts on Diana. I almost got out of bed at around 3am, but then I decided that I would just write about it today. As fate would have it, she and I chatted on IM earlier today.
A certain degree of guilt regarding Diana is what kept me up for a little while last night. I know that she's hurt by the fact that I did a complete about-face in my relationship with her. Throughout my time with her, I acted authentically, based on how I felt at the time. I did not intend that -- nor could I foresee how -- the trip would make me begin to realize certain things that would make me reconsider my relationship with her.
The real time of transition in our relationship was my first week back in Philadelphia after my return from southeast Asia at the end of November up until my birthday on December 5th. That process consisted entirely of realizing that I could not and did not want to pursue a relationship with Diana. There were certain things about her that I began to reflect on as a result of long conversations with Paul during the trip and also within my own head both during and immediately after my trip. The conclusion that I had to pause that relationship, if not stop it altogether, was reached independent of any outside influence.
It was not until after my birthday that I even began to consider anything serious with Cherise. To be unequivocally clear then: there was no overlap between Diana and Cherise in any way, shape, or form. Although I can understand from a third-person's perspective that the timing appears conveniently close, there is no connection.
I remember on my birthday that part of me wanted Diana to join me and my friends, but ultimately my true inclination was that I was still struggling with how to most gently and respectfully let her down and back off the relationship, so I didn't really want to see her on what was meant to be a fun night for me.
In our IM chat earlier today, Diana accused me of lying to her. Yet she did not and has never offered any example of when I actually lied to her. And the fact of the matter is that I never lied to her. I understand that she's saying that in an attempt to convince herself that I'm a bad guy. Although I undoubtedly hurt her by failing to live up to the expectations which I myself had played a part in setting up, I never lied. Once I realized that there were seeds of doubt and discontent on my part, I talked about them openly with one of my best friends. And I took the time to deliberate within my own head what the best course of action would be. Once I came back to Philly and saw Diana, my thoughts coalesced, and I quickly realized that the relationship was over for me. So I began delicately backing out, doing my best to do so respectfully. I didn't mention anything about Cherise, because she had nothing to do with it (in fact, Cherise would later complain that I didn't contact her when I got back from my trip, which is very true, because my complete attention was focused on Diana and how to slowly back out of that situation).
I'm legitimately angry and offended that Diana has accused me of lying. I'm a very honorable person (that's part of why I became a lawyer) and I demand truth from everyone around me as much as I'm truthful to everyone in my life, sometimes to a fault. So for someone to accuse me of lying is a major insult to me. Diana, if you read this, let's hear one concrete example of when I've lied to you.
I would truly like to clear the air with Diana and begin the new year as civil, mutually respectful acquaintances, if not friends. But to the extent that she continues to exhibit her immaturity through baseless accusations, I become less and less inclined to deal with such a person -- I simply have enough problems to deal with that I don't need more negativity piled on.
I'm observant and aware enough to realize that the end of my relationship with Diana, in combination with the competition that Cherise intentionally threw in my face at the end of the month, impelled me to assert myself toward Cherise much more than I would have otherwise done. Is that such a bad thing if I've loved Cherise all this time, despite trying to bury it or ignore it, and if Cherise still loves me too? I don't think so.
Sooner or later I would have come to the conclusion that I should not pursue a relationship with Diana, regardless of anything and everything and everyone else. Looking objectively at my purpose in her life, I think I was meant to help her break up with her ex-boyfriend, with whom she was mired in a stagnant and unfulfilling relationship.
I feel sorry for hurting her and for letting her down. But I was honest at every step of the way, from the beginning when things were fresh to the end when I realized that it just wasn't right. Although I certainly feel sorry for hurting Diana's feelings, I cannot be sorry for being honest with myself and with those effected by me.
I couldn't sleep last night because I wanted to post my thoughts on Diana. I almost got out of bed at around 3am, but then I decided that I would just write about it today. As fate would have it, she and I chatted on IM earlier today.
A certain degree of guilt regarding Diana is what kept me up for a little while last night. I know that she's hurt by the fact that I did a complete about-face in my relationship with her. Throughout my time with her, I acted authentically, based on how I felt at the time. I did not intend that -- nor could I foresee how -- the trip would make me begin to realize certain things that would make me reconsider my relationship with her.
The real time of transition in our relationship was my first week back in Philadelphia after my return from southeast Asia at the end of November up until my birthday on December 5th. That process consisted entirely of realizing that I could not and did not want to pursue a relationship with Diana. There were certain things about her that I began to reflect on as a result of long conversations with Paul during the trip and also within my own head both during and immediately after my trip. The conclusion that I had to pause that relationship, if not stop it altogether, was reached independent of any outside influence.
It was not until after my birthday that I even began to consider anything serious with Cherise. To be unequivocally clear then: there was no overlap between Diana and Cherise in any way, shape, or form. Although I can understand from a third-person's perspective that the timing appears conveniently close, there is no connection.
I remember on my birthday that part of me wanted Diana to join me and my friends, but ultimately my true inclination was that I was still struggling with how to most gently and respectfully let her down and back off the relationship, so I didn't really want to see her on what was meant to be a fun night for me.
In our IM chat earlier today, Diana accused me of lying to her. Yet she did not and has never offered any example of when I actually lied to her. And the fact of the matter is that I never lied to her. I understand that she's saying that in an attempt to convince herself that I'm a bad guy. Although I undoubtedly hurt her by failing to live up to the expectations which I myself had played a part in setting up, I never lied. Once I realized that there were seeds of doubt and discontent on my part, I talked about them openly with one of my best friends. And I took the time to deliberate within my own head what the best course of action would be. Once I came back to Philly and saw Diana, my thoughts coalesced, and I quickly realized that the relationship was over for me. So I began delicately backing out, doing my best to do so respectfully. I didn't mention anything about Cherise, because she had nothing to do with it (in fact, Cherise would later complain that I didn't contact her when I got back from my trip, which is very true, because my complete attention was focused on Diana and how to slowly back out of that situation).
I'm legitimately angry and offended that Diana has accused me of lying. I'm a very honorable person (that's part of why I became a lawyer) and I demand truth from everyone around me as much as I'm truthful to everyone in my life, sometimes to a fault. So for someone to accuse me of lying is a major insult to me. Diana, if you read this, let's hear one concrete example of when I've lied to you.
I would truly like to clear the air with Diana and begin the new year as civil, mutually respectful acquaintances, if not friends. But to the extent that she continues to exhibit her immaturity through baseless accusations, I become less and less inclined to deal with such a person -- I simply have enough problems to deal with that I don't need more negativity piled on.
I'm observant and aware enough to realize that the end of my relationship with Diana, in combination with the competition that Cherise intentionally threw in my face at the end of the month, impelled me to assert myself toward Cherise much more than I would have otherwise done. Is that such a bad thing if I've loved Cherise all this time, despite trying to bury it or ignore it, and if Cherise still loves me too? I don't think so.
Sooner or later I would have come to the conclusion that I should not pursue a relationship with Diana, regardless of anything and everything and everyone else. Looking objectively at my purpose in her life, I think I was meant to help her break up with her ex-boyfriend, with whom she was mired in a stagnant and unfulfilling relationship.
I feel sorry for hurting her and for letting her down. But I was honest at every step of the way, from the beginning when things were fresh to the end when I realized that it just wasn't right. Although I certainly feel sorry for hurting Diana's feelings, I cannot be sorry for being honest with myself and with those effected by me.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A lil lighter
The last two posts have been on the heavy side. New Year's Eve was as terrible as I thought it would be, despite going out with a friend of mine to a local watering hole. But hey, that was '08; that's old news.
It's a new year, and that means turning over a new leaf, at least in terms of outlook and attitude. I've resolved to be a better communicator, keeping in more frequent contact with my family and friends. The one positive that I can take from all the negative of the past week or so is the realization that when times get rough, I will oftentimes retreat within myself. And that a lot of what happened recently is a direct result of failing to communicate my feelings during a time of separation. Cherise lost a lot of faith in me because, as far as she could see through her eyes, I basically abandoned her; all she could naturally assume was that I didn't really care about her too much. And believe me, this exact same paradigm has definitely affected my relationships with my family and friends. I want to change this, and I hope to God that this is the year that I can make that change. I want to foster better relationships with my family and close friends, and as far as Cherise, I will make sure to keep in touch, and take comfort in the fact that whatever will happen, will indeed happen.
I went to the gym earlier today. This was my third visit in four days, but before that I hadn't gone since October 31st. The gym is a good way to blow off steam and I know that it makes me feel good when I'm in good shape. I'm gonna keep that up consistently, as I always did before my trip to southeast Asia. Knowing myself as I do, I should be close to good form in about two weeks. By the end of the month, I should be lifting close to my max weight.
A funny thing, though, from the gym earlier today. The radio was broken, so there was complete silence. Well, at least until a tough guy came down to use the squat rack, and began screaming at himself at the end of every set. This kind of thing reminded me of my college weight room. For those that don't know, I played football in high school and college. So being around my teammates, I was exposed to the archetypal meathead, and it always made me laugh when they screamed in the weight room. And for some reason, it's almost always during squats. Great stuff.
Well, that's all I feel like posting today. Speaking of football, I wanna get home soon to watch the NFL wild-card playoff games.
Here's to a healthy and happy '09. Cheers!
It's a new year, and that means turning over a new leaf, at least in terms of outlook and attitude. I've resolved to be a better communicator, keeping in more frequent contact with my family and friends. The one positive that I can take from all the negative of the past week or so is the realization that when times get rough, I will oftentimes retreat within myself. And that a lot of what happened recently is a direct result of failing to communicate my feelings during a time of separation. Cherise lost a lot of faith in me because, as far as she could see through her eyes, I basically abandoned her; all she could naturally assume was that I didn't really care about her too much. And believe me, this exact same paradigm has definitely affected my relationships with my family and friends. I want to change this, and I hope to God that this is the year that I can make that change. I want to foster better relationships with my family and close friends, and as far as Cherise, I will make sure to keep in touch, and take comfort in the fact that whatever will happen, will indeed happen.
I went to the gym earlier today. This was my third visit in four days, but before that I hadn't gone since October 31st. The gym is a good way to blow off steam and I know that it makes me feel good when I'm in good shape. I'm gonna keep that up consistently, as I always did before my trip to southeast Asia. Knowing myself as I do, I should be close to good form in about two weeks. By the end of the month, I should be lifting close to my max weight.
A funny thing, though, from the gym earlier today. The radio was broken, so there was complete silence. Well, at least until a tough guy came down to use the squat rack, and began screaming at himself at the end of every set. This kind of thing reminded me of my college weight room. For those that don't know, I played football in high school and college. So being around my teammates, I was exposed to the archetypal meathead, and it always made me laugh when they screamed in the weight room. And for some reason, it's almost always during squats. Great stuff.
Well, that's all I feel like posting today. Speaking of football, I wanna get home soon to watch the NFL wild-card playoff games.
Here's to a healthy and happy '09. Cheers!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)