Almost Time for the Memorial Day Weekend...

Once again, being in a rush to get to work this morning, I didn't pack my lunch as usual.  So I had to go out for a late lunch around 3:30 this afternoon.  I went to I-Green, where I had beef hand-drawn noodle soup.  It was excellent: the noodles were unmistakably fresh and homemade, the beef was delicious and well-seasoned, and the broth was very good.  On top of that, my waitress was so friendly that I thought she actually wanted to be my friend and a waiter who came by to tell me all the details about the history of hand-drawn noodles in China and their preparation there was so informative that I eventually wanted him to leave to let me enjoy the meal (I say this humorously).  And to top it all off, the whole lunch cost $7.50.  Oh, and they gave me a complimentary frozen yogurt cone at the end.  I will definitely be going back to I-Green!

I've decided to pour myself a glass of malbec, Callia Alta, 2012 vintage, to accompany me on the rest of this writing.  As I raise my glass to you, fine reader, I say "salud!"

Also as I write this, the Baby is curled up on my desk, in the back right corner, easily within arm's reach so I can pet her as I please.  I can hear her heavy breathing, as she looks at me out of the corner of her right eye.  I love the Baby (and Rocky too)!

I was happy to hear that Jeannie and Seva took a walk to visit Mita this afternoon.  I know that Mita is ecstatic to be a grandmother.  And I'm pretty sure that she would see Seva every day if we allowed her.  I get the sense that Mita restrains herself to respect Jeannie's and my wishes to be a family.  But I'm sure she was thrilled to get the surprise visit from Jeannie and Seva today.  It really makes me happy -- and I thank God -- that I've been blessed with such a wonderful wife and beautiful daughter.

After all the hurt and heartache that I went through at the end of my relationship with Ileana, and even more acutely through the painful break-up and immediate aftermath, I can say that God took me out of something negative, unhealthy, and toxic to bring me to something positive, healthy, and loving.  To all the people at work, but especially the young Haverford paralegals, I'd love to say: I got out of an abusive relationship (from your fellow alumna) and now I'm in a healthy relationship!!!  I'm more mature than to advertise my relationship, however, especially for such selfish, publicly-displayed vindication.  Besides quietly writing about it here, I'm not going to shove it in people's faces.  Inwardly, though, I take great pleasure and daily gratitude that God helped me out of something so bad to bring me to something so good.  Thanks be to God.

I made myself a promise that I would not return to Costa Rica until at least one of my family members there visits us in Philadelphia.  None of my family there knows of this internal promise.  And I know that for much of my family there the idea of coming to the United States at all is a near impossibility.  But there's some family that could do it.  And although Jeannie would love to go to Costa Rica, I'm committed to keeping my promise.  I'd rather visit Panama, where I've never been, than go to CR at this point.  The only thing that could possibly change my mind is when Seva gets old enough to develop enough curiosity in her roots to want to go and I (we) feel that the trip would benefit her as a form of experiential education.

I'm enjoying reading Mexico City Blues by Jack Kerouac, but it's so seemingly disjointed that it honestly doesn't seem to have a message.  I'm not sure what the take-away is, other than digesting a literary genius's nonsense.  But I'll read it because my attention span is not so great these days and it's sometimes important to read nonsense to be reminded of the absurdity of life and the importance not to take it too seriously all the time.

I just farted; it's rank.  Very high sulfur content.

Finally, as a sort of confession, I'd like to admit that I made a major blunder when I tried to pull the old switcheroo between two girls, one who I was dating, Priscilla, and her best friend, Joelle.  This was around 2010, if my memory serves me correctly.  I remember being out on the town with Evan and Corey, perhaps that last time that the three of us hung out together.  We were at Parc, where we met Priscilla and Joelle.  I was the only single one among the three of us at that point, so I somehow got both girls' phone numbers and I think they both got mine.  I was definitely attracted to Joelle right from the get-go.  But within a day or two after meeting, Priscilla took the initiative to reach out to me and show interest.  And that's the precise juncture where I made a mistake; I should have reached out to Joelle, the girl I actually liked, before responding and then playing into -- for the next four months (argghh) -- Priscilla's interest and advances.  Before I knew it, I was sucked in to a relationship that I didn't want.  I'm sure many guys, and even many girls, have gone through this experience.  But towards the end of it, my desire towards Joelle began to develop into something approaching an obsession, which made me irrationally believe that I could pull a switcheroo.  Even just writing about it now, I feel silly and a bit ashamed.  How the hell did I think I could pull that off?!  Well, when I finally got the courage to call Joelle for the sole purpose of seeing if she wanted to hang out, I found out very shortly thereafter that she immediately called Priscilla (her best friend!) what I'd done and that effectively ended the relationship with Priscilla and blacklisted me from any contact, let alone relationship, with the girl who I'd been attracted to from the beginning.

Oh well, as history would have it, I guess a relationship with either girl was never meant to be.  So be it.  Ironically, only about two months ago, Jeannie and I were in line at the Ikea in south Philadelphia when I saw Priscilla with her mother.  I felt like a total fool, as rightly I should have felt.  In retrospect, I should have approached her to beg her forgiveness for my inexcusable handling of the situation and for hurting her feelings in any way; I probably would have been met with a slap to the face, or maybe not since she was with her mother.  Come to think of it, her mother probably would have slapped me in the face.  So maybe it was best that I just played dumb and waited a few minutes, as I did, to give Jeannie the short version of the story.  That was the best I could do in terms of a confession at that time.

Mid-week Musings

Immediately upon getting home from work today, I changed into a t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers and walked over to the basketball court at the southwest corner of Marian Anderson Park, at 18th & Catharine Streets.  As a sidenote, the t-shirt I wore was my black Singha Lager Beer t-shirt that I bought on a corner store in Bangkok on the last night of my TLC tour (Thailand, Laos, Cambodia) with Paul.

It felt good to be out.  I was there for over an hour, the first 45 minutes by myself and last 15 minutes or more with Jeannie and Seva.  I was shooting the ball pretty well tonight.  I'll periodically shoot 10 free throws in a row.  When I did so at one point tonight, I went 8 for 10, which is the best I've shot in the few times I've played recently.  After Jeannie got there, we played a game of horse (as we did last time) and I won with only an "H" against me.  I'll grant Jeannie that I was warmed up nicely by the time she got there.  But the point still remains: I was shooting very well tonight.  It felt good and made me miss playing basketball.

The day started out on a different note.  I slept in until 11am.  Today, of course, is Wednesday, thus mid-week and I just needed a break to catch up on rest.  Seva has been an absolute blessing, but she has certainly altered our sleep schedule, which is to say that I haven't slept for eight hours straight since before she was born.  Since I didn't have any morning appointments at the office, I figured I would just stay home and sleep in.

It may not have been the responsible thing to do, but I've always been one to follow my intuition.  If my body is telling me to sleep in, then I'll very likely sleep in.  My health is one of my most important priorities.  I know others that pride themselves on being into the office every day by such and such time.  I really don't care about that; I'm not trying to impress anybody.  My goals are staying healthy and getting my work done, even if it's not within the cookie-cutter schedule that some others would prefer to squeeze me into.

A random note from yesterday.  I went to lunch at Beck's Cajun Cafe at Reading Terminal Market.  As you may remember from my post the other day, I've been loving the vibe I get at RTM these days.  And as you can probably easily glean from my posts over the past year relating to work, I'm always happy to be anywhere but at the office.  So my lunch hour yesterday was a win-win.  I had the blackened chicken breast po' boy topped with a sprinkling of their devil dust ("everything seasoning & dry rub") every few bites.  It was pretty good.

Another random note, this time relating to a current event.  Yesterday a federal judge struck down Pennsylvania's ban on same-sex marriage.  And today, Governor Tom Corbett announced that his administration is not going to appeal the decision, meaning that marriage equality has now come to Pennsylvania, the last state in the Northeast to do so, if I'm not mistaken.  I have no problem with this.  In fact, I'm in support of marriage equality.

But all the buzz on social media in support of these current events has provoked a criticism on my part.  I've seen so many friends post and re-post the same couple of articles over and over again on facebook.  It's like they're all parroting each other.  And on a very "safe" position for the year 2014.  It ranks up there with anti-racism against blacks as one of the safest social positions in this day and age.  And this is my criticism: nearly all liberals are too scared to stand up for anything but a non-controversial position.

Can I blame them?  I guess not, most people by nature are going to maintain their self-preservation, most people by their nature want to be liked by the most people possible.  But it's bullshit when everyone is too scared to stick out or do anything contrary to the masses.  For example, it's easy for liberals to be angry at a guy like Donald Sterling, because he says something (wrong, yes) that fits squarely within the "racism against blacks" category, against which all liberals are champions and defenders.  And now, it's easy for liberals to post and re-post articles reporting that Pennsylvania is a marriage equality state, since that fits squarely within the pro-gay marriage category.

If you hear me, then ask yourself: what are the edgy social issues of the future? what are the social issues that are not yet ripe according to the masses, but are still the right thing to stand for today? in what way(s) are the masses complacent to something unfair or biased or bullshit?  Who's going to identify these issues and wake up the liberals who are too scared or blind to see the next step?  As my friend Andrew would probably agree (based on a pendulum theory he shared with me), in what way(s) has the pendulum swung too far in another direction, creating an unfair or unjust imbalance?

Snowy night

It's a snowy night in Philadelphia.  We had 9.8 inches of snow fall late last night into this morning.  Then there was a lull for most of the day up until now, as I write this.  But we're expected to get the back end of the nor'easter tonight, which will give us another 1 to 3 inches of snow.  I just got the email that the office will be closed tomorrow.  Taking into account that I was off today and we're off on Monday for Presidents' Day, I'm in a 5-day weekend.

Today is notable for more than the snow.  Jeannie is 33 weeks pregnant today.  Meaning that, if that calculation is accurate, we'll be the proud parents of a baby girl in about 7 weeks, give or take, depending on when our little girl decides to arrive.  The expected due date is April 3rd.

Although I see with my own eyes how Jeannie's belly is getting bigger every day, it doesn't seem quite real to me.  There are, however, those moments when it hits me and I feel very excited.  For example, I almost always walk north on 18th Street for a good part of my walk to work in the morning.  And I daydream about walking with the baby to Rittenhouse Square when the weather is warmer in a few months.  I'm looking forward to being a father.  And I'm so happy that Jeannie will be the mother of my child (maybe, hopefully, some day: children).  Although no one can ever be totally prepared to be a parent, I think we're both in a good place in our lives that this is the time.  I feel good about it and I have faith in everything about it.

Speaking of faith, since just about a year ago, we've been attending mass at St. Charles Borromeo Church very regularly.  We've grown to love the feeling of warmth and community there.  It's where Jeannie and I got married just two months ago, on Saturday, December 14, 2013.  Father Ed is a great guy and I really like how down-to-earth he is, which translates to his style of homily.  The fact that it's just a couple blocks up the road makes it really easy for us to get there on Sunday mornings.  It's one of those things that may seem insignificant at first blush, but it's one of the greatest sources of happiness and stability in my life over the past year.  And I hope and intend that we'll continue to attend and become more a part of the community.

Rocky and the Baby are healthy and doing well.  Rocky was just on my lap a few minutes ago as I was typing the early part of this note.  The Baby is on the couch with Jeannie, who happened to fall asleep there about a half-hour ago.  As hard as it is to believe, Rocky and the Baby turned 9 years old this past Christmas (2013).  I got them just past Valentine's Day 2005, so at this point they've been in my life for nearly 9 years.  It's amazing.  Talk about family, they've been a part of my daily life for 9 years, seen me through changes of relationships, been with me through moves to new residences, seen me happy and sad, and been with me throughout it all.  I love them so much.  I hope they can feel it or know it somehow.  I'm just so thankful to God that Rocky and the Baby are in my life.  Every Sunday at church, I pray for their good health and happiness.

The chapter of my life at PLA is likely coming to an end later this year.  It's something that I hesitate to put in writing, even here, because of my concerns of keeping my intentions known to only a very small circle of loved ones.  I mention it only so when I look back I'll see that it was something already in the works as of this date, and sooner I assure you.

Jeannie and I recently came back from India.  Initially, Jeannie was going there for work and I was just going to take advantage and tag along.  When Jeannie's employer (who happens to be my friend) found out we were getting married, he very graciously offered Jeannie the first week off there, so she and I could effectively have a honeymoon, which we hadn't planned or really intended to take.  We were very happy to take the opportunity.  For the first three days or so, we were in Delhi.  I had the blessing to see the Taj Mahal for the first time in my life.  Then, for my last seven days there, we stayed in Bengaluru, in the south of India.  On the first two days in Bengaluru, I went out for daylong pilgrimages, in which I roamed the city, mostly on foot, but also by public bus.  Those two days, away from the routine of my everyday life and accompanied only by my solitude, allowed my mind to roam as freely as my legs were taking my body.  By the grace of God, I received a lot of inspiration, in terms of concrete ideas for my next professional chapter, as well as the even more important feeling of confidence or dare I say destiny.  The shining example of the latter was a date that came to my mind that I must launch my next chapter.  That date is my target.  I have a goal, and so now the time from now until then shall be dedicated to the details that must be filled in so I can feel as prepared as I possibly can be.

I sometimes struggle with resisting the temptation to judge others who I consider to be unjust or self-centered or biased.  For example, I believe one of the lawyers I work with has a big ego and likes to draw attention to herself.  But the thing that irritates me more than that simple point is that others seem to have bought in to her "brand," so to speak.  They've bought in to her ego, which I believe is bigger than her actual value or talent, not to take away from or underestimate that the talent and skills that she does have.  In another example, there's this community activist in South Philadelphia who, numerically at least, has a large following on facebook.  I believe that she is racist; to put it bluntly, I believe she hates white people.  Being "white" in color and mostly European in heritage, I take offense to some of what she writes online.  Up until now, I've swallowed my thoughts and not responded, but just a couple weeks ago, I finally wrote a sharp reply to her online.  Similar to my first example above, it bothers me when someone has too much influence, too loud of a voice, for a position that's either biased or too self-centered.  I really can't stand it.  But I know I have no control over how people, these people in particular, act or what they say.  And I have no control over how others receive their message or consider their personality.  I can only be me.  Recently, perhaps in part looking ahead to changes later this year, I've started to be just a bit more vocal on facebook, in terms of what I write for my own posts and also in reply to others.  I've been mindful not to come across as too overly confident (which would be ironic) or too critical of others.  I hope I've succeeded on those counts.

Finally, just as an update, I'm currently reading the New Testament.  For the second time ever.  A couple years ago, from around December 2011 to maybe May or June 2012, I read the Bible from cover to cover, Old Testament through New Testament.  This time I'm just reading the New Testament.  As of now, I'm at 2 Corinthians.  Not to be cliche, but it's a good book.  It's helped to give confidence to me in my daily life, especially professionally.  Overall, my faith is stronger, although I know that I need to be careful not to take anything for granted, faith in particular.

Saw American Hustle at Riverview 17 with Jeannie and Jess for $12.00 per ticket.

Mojitos

Yesterday afternoon I met up with my ex-girlfriend Heather. The last time I saw her was six years ago, and that was merely a brief, chance encounter on Walnut Street. The last time that I spent any real time with her was seven years ago. So needless to say, despite not having any intentions of anything beyond seeing her to catch up, I was still a bit excited to see her. We met at 3pm in Rittenhouse Square. Since I usually attend evening mass at 6:30pm, I figured a little more than three hours should be enough to catch up on most everything. The weather was sunny and dry and simply beautiful. Our meeting went exactly as I had hoped; I felt good that we had reconnected as friends. Now that I've seen her, though, my pre-meeting intentions have not changed. I'll be happy for she and I to be friends. Of the girls that I've dated for more than a month or so, there's now only one that I don't communicate with. All of rest care about me, just as I care about them, and they're mature enough to maintain a friendship with me. When I was younger (i.e., around the time when I broke up with Heather), I had a rigid philosophy of cutting all contact if a relationship didn't work out. But I don't feel that way any more: life is too short to hold grudges or exert mental/emotional energy to keep a wall up. Unless something really egregious happens to end a relationship, there's not much reason to turn your back on someone who you were compatible with to have a relationship with, even if it wasn't long-lasting. The reality is that the overwhelming majority of all relationships fail; relationships are the classic live-and-learn experience. So anyway, to bring it all the way back around, I'm glad that Heather and I can now be friends.

This past Saturday night was great. Wagner came by the double-deuce and Spruce to help me move out my old television and put it curbside. I had a few beers in the fridge, so we hung here for a little while. I took the opportunity to ask him some serious questions about his vision and goals for his law career. Since he's becoming one of my good friends here in Philly, I wanted to know if he would ever consider going into practice for himself, since that is my goal/hope/ambition. He said he had never really considered it, but said that he would now that I put the thought out there. It was a good, refreshing conversation before hitting the town.

Originally I had wanted to go to a new spot near me (at 20th and Sansom) called Village Whiskey. As we were walking out of my place, Wagner called up Tobin to let him know where we were going. At that moment, I took the opportunity to check my phone, lo and behold to discover that I'd missed a text message just a minute earlier. It was from Ileana, a girl who works with some of my friends at one of my old workplaces. She was out with her roommate and was inviting me to stop by if I wasn't busy. So the timing was perfect; Wagner's and my plan changed and we went to Rum Bar to meet up with them. It was a nice atmosphere in there, as there was a pretty good crowd, several of whom were wearing an eye-patch in honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day; it was pretty funny. We all spent the rest of the evening drinking mojitos. I was really happy to have the chance to talk to Ileana, since I'd only really talked to her once before for not much more than ten minutes. I kept being happily surprised to find out that we had a lot in common. So between the (strong) mojitos and the good conversation, I had a very good Saturday night.

The next morning, Sunday, I forced myself out of bed early in order to volunteer at a community event in South Philly: la Fiesta de San Mateo de Ozolco. For those of you who may not know, San Mateo de Ozolco is a village in the state of Puebla, in Mexico. And interestingly, anywhere from one-quarter to one-third of that village resides for at least part of the year in Philadelphia. Thus, to honor their community's community here in the 2-1-5, they hold an annual fiesta, with a traditional misa and dancing by los moros y cristianos and by traditional Aztecs. It was a fun cultural event to be at, although I had to leave early in order to make it back in time to meet up with Heather in Rittenhouse Square. But I have to admit that my Spanish-speaking skills were dulled as a result of all the mojitos I drank the night before. It was all worth it though.

Alright, that's all for now, folks. I hope things are well in your little part of the world, wherever that may be.