I'm busy writing my research paper for my Race & Ethnicity class. I've already done the research, but I just started writing the paper today. I had a heated argument with the professor about three weeks ago, so since then I've been a little bit concerned that she may try to fail me. I told her that I hadn't met any of the deadlines over the course of the semester because that's not the way I operate. I told her that this is my education so I'll do it my own way. She was pretty pissed off at my comments. The last day to hand-in the paper is May 9th. The paper has to be 25 pages long, which is no problem for me. I can write that in just 2 or 3 days. So the real test for me is doing a top-notch job organizing it and editing it so that I don't give her any excuse to fail me.
I also have a final exam in Employment Discrimination on May 7th. I'll need at least a couple of days to study for that, so it'll temporarily interrupt my focus on the paper. I already had my final trial in Advanced Trial Advocacy, and I handed in my last serial paper for Current Issues in Family Law. So I'm completely done with those two classes; it now leaves me just these other two courses to complete. But as long as everything with the research paper and the final exam goes well, I'll be done on May 9th and then I'll graduate on May 17th. I've let myself get a little bit excited about graduation (although not too much yet). It makes me very happy just thinking about it though.
Besides all that, I want to let you know that I think about you every day. Because of my focus on school, though, I haven't put too much thought into the viability of our relationship. If you have any thoughts on that, then I have to ask you to hold your thoughts until after May 9th: I only have enough energy to focus on the paper and final exam until that date.
Anyway, I hope you're enjoying Victoria. I'll be thinking about you.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
mpre [email to Pito and Mita]
i took the mpre (multistate professional responsibility examination) at the end of spring break. passing it is a requirement to be admitted to the bar. the minimum score that i have to get for PA and NJ is 75. i just got my score, and it's a 101. so that's one less thing for me to worry about. it's a relief that i passed. i figured you guys would be happy to hear it.
call + trial [email to Pito]
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you should call Jessica some time. I saw her yesterday when she and Mita came in to visit for Easter. Jessica seems very aware that you haven't called her for over a month. Although you didn't approve of her decisions recently, you shouldn't punish her by not communicating with her. Everyone has to learn their lessons in life, so you've gotta let her do that in her own way even while still expressing your care and concerns. Fortunately her latest episode seems to have resolved itself without any major consequences, other than Jessica feeling hurt. But Jessica definitely seems hurt by the fact that you haven't called her; I could tell just from the look on her face. Not calling her doesn't serve any good purpose, so you should call her soon.
My final trial with Mike for our advanced trial advocacy class is next Tuesday the 17th at 6pm at the Criminal Justice Center (right across the street from City Hall). We are allowed to invite family and friends to either serve as a juror or simply to observe. The trial should last about 3 hours, which I know is kinda late for you; but I wanted to invite you anyway. If somehow you can come, then you'd have to let me know so I can tell the prof to give your name to security at the CJC.
Alright, talk to you later. Peace out.
My final trial with Mike for our advanced trial advocacy class is next Tuesday the 17th at 6pm at the Criminal Justice Center (right across the street from City Hall). We are allowed to invite family and friends to either serve as a juror or simply to observe. The trial should last about 3 hours, which I know is kinda late for you; but I wanted to invite you anyway. If somehow you can come, then you'd have to let me know so I can tell the prof to give your name to security at the CJC.
Alright, talk to you later. Peace out.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Email to Cherise
You totally broke me down emotionally. That was obvious last Sunday night when I was literally crying that I wanted to go home. If I hadn't drank any alcohol, then those feelings would probably have remained bottled up inside me; but they still would have been there. Drinking the alcohol only meant that I no longer had the self-control to keep those feelings within myself. But with or without the alcohol, the fact still remained: you totally broke me down emotionally.
So the question is: how did you break me down emotionally?
1) Over the course of three nights and three days, you never said one positive word toward me. Not one compliment. Not one nice thing. Not one thing to make me feel good about myself. You made me feel that I was worthless for you.
2) You very rarely showed any positive emotions to me through actions either. The only rare times that you tried to act nicely toward me was at nighttime when you tried to hug me. But by not having said one nice thing to me over the course of many hours during the day, I couldn't be sure that your actions were genuine. That is to say, I asked myself: is she trying to hug me because she really cares about me, or is she trying to hug me because she really wants to please herself by knowing she has someone that she can hug? In other words, I wasn't sure if your reasons for trying to hug me were caring for me or selfish for you.
3) You didn't make any positive material effort toward me. In other words, you didn't offer any kind of token of love or any gift as an apology for how you had treated me. So in the end, I didn't even have anything, like a handwritten note or a thoughtful gift, that I could look at as a reassurance of how you say you feel about me. I literally had nothing to hold on to to show me that you loved me.
4) When I got upset, you purposely antagonized me. You made fun of me. You looked at me like I was a freak. You criticized me. You made me even angrier. You made the whole situation worse. If you had cared about me, you would have tried to hear me out. You would've tried to calm me down. You would've given me a hug. You would've reassured me that you loved me. But instead you wouldn't even show me the respect of letting me finish a sentence. You wouldn't even let me speak. That makes me feel like what I have to say, how I feel, what I'm thinking, is not important to you, it doesn't matter to you, it isn't even worth two seconds of your time or your life. Your approach makes me feel like you think you're superior to me. If you don't show me any respect, much less love or caring, then you must be looking down at me. But if we aren't equals, then why are you with me?
We should end our relationship. My head tells me that we should end our relationship. And although my heart is very reluctant, it wants to end our relationship too. So the question is: why? Why do I think we should end our relationship?
1) As everything above clearly indicates, we cannot communicate. We have never been able to communicate with each other. You know just as well as I do that we have had only very rare moments where we were able to communicate with each other. Almost all of our communication has been superficial, just like any conversation we could have with a stranger off the street.
2) Any progress we have ever made with each other has been fleeting. Due to the pressures of law school and due to you almost always being apart from me, we cannot realistically grow closer. The few times we have grown is when I have felt relatively unpressured from school and when you have been here with me. But those times have been few and far between. Is that how a relationship is supposed to be? One step forward, then two or three steps back?
3) We must accept the fact that neither one of us is going to change the other. And so, since we have never been happy together, what makes us believe that that will ever change? If I wanted to, I could make a list now that you should be with someone that does A, B, and C, and I should be with someone who does D, E, and F. There's no point in doing that though, even though it's true. Each of us simply needs someone who is different than who we have now. As for me, I will only say that I desperately want to feel loved by someone. And I have only rarely felt that from you.
4) And that's the final point, what it all really boils down: I feel completely and utterly empty when I'm with you:
I feel like a man who has been walking a desert for many, many years, waiting for the day to drink more than a few drops of water at at time. Although I know that my parents love me, I was never told "I love you" as a child. Besides my birthday and Christmas, my parents never had money to buy me any gifts or take me out to dinner. After my early toddler years, I was never hugged and kissed. I never saw my parents hug and kiss each other. Because we were relatively poor for the town that we grew up in, there were never any other kids around; all of our classmates lived in the neighborhoods with two-story houses and backyards, while we lived in a two-bedroom apartment with no yard at all. That's almost certainly why Jess and I find it hard to make friends sometimes and why she is yet to find a boyfriend. Our childhood was cold and tough. Despite that, I've grown up to be a mature, well-rounded man. But I still crave for something that I never really had: Love, expressed openly and explicitly. And unfortunately, even with you I never got more than a few drops at a time. I pray to God for the day that I can drink a tall glass of love. Then I will be happy. Then I will know that I have met the woman that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. For reasons probably relating back to your childhood, you are cold. As much as I care for you, I can't be with someone who is cold. I've lived with that for too long, and I deserve better.
Last Sunday night I felt so alone. I missed my home so much. I missed Rocky and Moda. I missed Philadelphia, the only witness to my many tears over the years, and yet the city where I have grown up to be a man. Yesterday morning, I had to take the EL to get to the testing site to take the MPRE. A couple in their early twenties sat down two rows in front of me. They were lower-class, blue-collar, and they had a thick Philadelphia accent. They were talking with a friend of theirs sitting in the row directly in front of me. The boyfriend was telling the guy how he and his girlfriend had moved to Voorhees, a town in New Jersey, for a little while before coming back to Philly. He was telling the guy that he should never go to Voorhees. And as he and his girlfriend got up to walk out the subway in Fishtown, he told the guy, "There ain't nuttin' like Philly." When he said that, my heart fluttered. That's exactly how I felt when I was sitting in handcuffs, surrounded by cops, at LAX. And even though I knew you were sitting somewhere nearby, I hadn't felt so lonely in years.
So the question is: how did you break me down emotionally?
1) Over the course of three nights and three days, you never said one positive word toward me. Not one compliment. Not one nice thing. Not one thing to make me feel good about myself. You made me feel that I was worthless for you.
2) You very rarely showed any positive emotions to me through actions either. The only rare times that you tried to act nicely toward me was at nighttime when you tried to hug me. But by not having said one nice thing to me over the course of many hours during the day, I couldn't be sure that your actions were genuine. That is to say, I asked myself: is she trying to hug me because she really cares about me, or is she trying to hug me because she really wants to please herself by knowing she has someone that she can hug? In other words, I wasn't sure if your reasons for trying to hug me were caring for me or selfish for you.
3) You didn't make any positive material effort toward me. In other words, you didn't offer any kind of token of love or any gift as an apology for how you had treated me. So in the end, I didn't even have anything, like a handwritten note or a thoughtful gift, that I could look at as a reassurance of how you say you feel about me. I literally had nothing to hold on to to show me that you loved me.
4) When I got upset, you purposely antagonized me. You made fun of me. You looked at me like I was a freak. You criticized me. You made me even angrier. You made the whole situation worse. If you had cared about me, you would have tried to hear me out. You would've tried to calm me down. You would've given me a hug. You would've reassured me that you loved me. But instead you wouldn't even show me the respect of letting me finish a sentence. You wouldn't even let me speak. That makes me feel like what I have to say, how I feel, what I'm thinking, is not important to you, it doesn't matter to you, it isn't even worth two seconds of your time or your life. Your approach makes me feel like you think you're superior to me. If you don't show me any respect, much less love or caring, then you must be looking down at me. But if we aren't equals, then why are you with me?
We should end our relationship. My head tells me that we should end our relationship. And although my heart is very reluctant, it wants to end our relationship too. So the question is: why? Why do I think we should end our relationship?
1) As everything above clearly indicates, we cannot communicate. We have never been able to communicate with each other. You know just as well as I do that we have had only very rare moments where we were able to communicate with each other. Almost all of our communication has been superficial, just like any conversation we could have with a stranger off the street.
2) Any progress we have ever made with each other has been fleeting. Due to the pressures of law school and due to you almost always being apart from me, we cannot realistically grow closer. The few times we have grown is when I have felt relatively unpressured from school and when you have been here with me. But those times have been few and far between. Is that how a relationship is supposed to be? One step forward, then two or three steps back?
3) We must accept the fact that neither one of us is going to change the other. And so, since we have never been happy together, what makes us believe that that will ever change? If I wanted to, I could make a list now that you should be with someone that does A, B, and C, and I should be with someone who does D, E, and F. There's no point in doing that though, even though it's true. Each of us simply needs someone who is different than who we have now. As for me, I will only say that I desperately want to feel loved by someone. And I have only rarely felt that from you.
4) And that's the final point, what it all really boils down: I feel completely and utterly empty when I'm with you:
I feel like a man who has been walking a desert for many, many years, waiting for the day to drink more than a few drops of water at at time. Although I know that my parents love me, I was never told "I love you" as a child. Besides my birthday and Christmas, my parents never had money to buy me any gifts or take me out to dinner. After my early toddler years, I was never hugged and kissed. I never saw my parents hug and kiss each other. Because we were relatively poor for the town that we grew up in, there were never any other kids around; all of our classmates lived in the neighborhoods with two-story houses and backyards, while we lived in a two-bedroom apartment with no yard at all. That's almost certainly why Jess and I find it hard to make friends sometimes and why she is yet to find a boyfriend. Our childhood was cold and tough. Despite that, I've grown up to be a mature, well-rounded man. But I still crave for something that I never really had: Love, expressed openly and explicitly. And unfortunately, even with you I never got more than a few drops at a time. I pray to God for the day that I can drink a tall glass of love. Then I will be happy. Then I will know that I have met the woman that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. For reasons probably relating back to your childhood, you are cold. As much as I care for you, I can't be with someone who is cold. I've lived with that for too long, and I deserve better.
Last Sunday night I felt so alone. I missed my home so much. I missed Rocky and Moda. I missed Philadelphia, the only witness to my many tears over the years, and yet the city where I have grown up to be a man. Yesterday morning, I had to take the EL to get to the testing site to take the MPRE. A couple in their early twenties sat down two rows in front of me. They were lower-class, blue-collar, and they had a thick Philadelphia accent. They were talking with a friend of theirs sitting in the row directly in front of me. The boyfriend was telling the guy how he and his girlfriend had moved to Voorhees, a town in New Jersey, for a little while before coming back to Philly. He was telling the guy that he should never go to Voorhees. And as he and his girlfriend got up to walk out the subway in Fishtown, he told the guy, "There ain't nuttin' like Philly." When he said that, my heart fluttered. That's exactly how I felt when I was sitting in handcuffs, surrounded by cops, at LAX. And even though I knew you were sitting somewhere nearby, I hadn't felt so lonely in years.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning
I'm lying on my stomach while leaning on my elbows as I write this. I'm on top of the bed, all alone in the apartment. And that's what leads me to write this: loneliness. It's been difficult to sleep lately. When I go to bed every night, I'm suffocated by the silence and the darkness. So last night, a Friday night, I let Rocky and Moda stay in the room with me. Although their presence and activity caused its own problems in my sleep, I felt that I was not alone. And that part was nice. Cherise has been gone since the very beginning of May. Now it's two and a half months later. I wonder how many solitary nights that's been. I'm sure many people wouldn't feel sorry for me at all. That's fine. Even still, it does nothing to alleviate my utter feeling of solitude. I live in the fifth largest city in this country, and yet I feel like I'm all alone. I have more than a handful of acquiantances in the city, but that's all they are, acquiantances. I don't necessarily feel compelled to develop a friendship with them, despite my apparent need for companionship. I believe that's partly due to a lack of compatibility, in the ultimate analysis. When it comes down to it, they serve as the requisite contacts that all professionals (and others too, I'm sure) seem to need. Also, more importantly, I feel that my desire for companionship is meant to be with a woman. And so, Cherise's absence puts my in a difficult situation. I have maintained the position that her expected return in September will be a permanent return, meaning she won't leave again. But there is no guarantee to that. And so, once again, I'm waiting to see if reality will comply with expectations, or not. And that is precisely the problem: I am waiting. I have been relegated to a passive role; my life is on pause. The control over my present and my near-future is not in my hands; or so it seems. Well, I'm tired of writing now. And that means that it is time for bed. Only God knows whether I will fall asleep reasonably quickly or not. My final observation is that my loneliness has led me to pray and speak with God more often. For that, I must believe that everything happens for a reason. There must be a divine design.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning
I just got a phone call from Mita about an hour ago, right around 1 in the morning. She told me that Abuelo died earlier tonight, at about 9pm Costa Rica time. Apparently, he got sick around noon, so they took him to the hospital in Guapiles. But he wasn't seen until 7pm. The doctors said it was too late and he was too old to take him to San Jose. He died just two hours later. He was 94 years old. I'm gonna have to let this sink in. I said a prayer while looking at my favorite photo of me and him, a photo taken during my trip to CR two years ago; we each have an arm around the other's shoulder. I prayed to God that He accepts Abuelo into his home, so that Abuelo may find peace, love, and happiness. I hope God hears my prayer.
Friday, December 24, 2004
San Jose, Costa Rica -- afternoon
It's kind of an eerie feeling. It's almost as if time has stopped, at least temporarily, as oxymoronic as that is. I've been alone here in Tia Zahyra's house for about the past two hours. Besides the phone ringing just once, it has been a nearly uninterrupted stagnation.
Of course, as I write this though, Mita and Tia Zahyra are walking in the door. Mita is a little upset for some reason: either because Jessica may be alone this Christmas, or that Jessica is not with us here, or that Mita is not here with Jessica, any or all of the above. For better or for worse, I have to admit that I'm surprised; Mita seemed so wrapped up in being here, barely paying me any attention. I figured that everything left in the United States was for the most part out of sight, out of mind.
But when I think about it, I believe Mita's putting on something of a front, for the purpose of convincing herself that Costa Rica is better than the United States in every possible way. But under that surface, there are apparently deeper currents. I remember being depressed when I spent Christmas here in Costa Rica two years ago. It was very difficult to be apart from my close family and friends for Christmas, and it made it even more difficult to be in a warm climate for the holidays. I felt like a stranger in a strange land. It's not a good feeling.
I hope for Jessica's sake that Pito is spending Christmas with her. So far I've been pretty stoic about the holidays this time around. Perhaps I'm putting up my defenses after my experience two years ago. Or maybe it's easier because Mita is here. I don't think it's really the latter, but I could be wrong. Or maybe it's the difference that in only 8 days Cherise will be here. I think that makes a huge difference; to look forward to something in the short-term.
Well, I should have some coffee and socialize now that there's some life here, some reassurance of time and reality.
Of course, as I write this though, Mita and Tia Zahyra are walking in the door. Mita is a little upset for some reason: either because Jessica may be alone this Christmas, or that Jessica is not with us here, or that Mita is not here with Jessica, any or all of the above. For better or for worse, I have to admit that I'm surprised; Mita seemed so wrapped up in being here, barely paying me any attention. I figured that everything left in the United States was for the most part out of sight, out of mind.
But when I think about it, I believe Mita's putting on something of a front, for the purpose of convincing herself that Costa Rica is better than the United States in every possible way. But under that surface, there are apparently deeper currents. I remember being depressed when I spent Christmas here in Costa Rica two years ago. It was very difficult to be apart from my close family and friends for Christmas, and it made it even more difficult to be in a warm climate for the holidays. I felt like a stranger in a strange land. It's not a good feeling.
I hope for Jessica's sake that Pito is spending Christmas with her. So far I've been pretty stoic about the holidays this time around. Perhaps I'm putting up my defenses after my experience two years ago. Or maybe it's easier because Mita is here. I don't think it's really the latter, but I could be wrong. Or maybe it's the difference that in only 8 days Cherise will be here. I think that makes a huge difference; to look forward to something in the short-term.
Well, I should have some coffee and socialize now that there's some life here, some reassurance of time and reality.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
San Jose, Costa Rica -- afternoon
I really shouldn't be surprised, but I'm sick. It's such a pain in the ass that - it seems - every time I come to Costa Rica, I get sick. And this time I took precautions like washing my hand frequently and getting to bed early while sleeping-in in the morning. I think I would have been fine if not for the fact that Yorlen was sick on the day we got here. Then, a couple days later, with Yorlen still sick, Mita got sick too. Mita's defenses were definitely down since she didn't sleep for two nights prior to getting here, and she was barely sleeping when we got here. So I guess just being around two sick people, and since the bacteria/viruses here are different than those in the States, I also inevitably got sick. I had a terrible fever last night, sweating so much in bed that my body was stuck to the sheets. Talk about a shitty feeling, feeling trapped like that.
Today I also feel like shit, but I think its already breaking up since I've got a lot of mucus coming out of my nose, and I have that gut feeling that I really am getting better, despite - or perhaps because of - the symptoms. So on account of my sickness, I've done nothing but hang around Zahyra's house. The only thing to speak of is that yesterday morning Yorlen and I went to the Mercado Central in San Jose to buy a bunch of vegetables and other ingredients for her to make tamales navidenos. I went along to keep her company and to help her carry the ton of stuff we picked up. It was towards the end of that outting that I really started feeling sick and weak. I paid for a taxi, which was less than $3, and since then I've been holed up here like a hermit.
Mita is having a blast here. She seems to be the happiest I've seen her in a long while. Even now that she's here she continues to talk about buying property here in Costa Rica. And it seems like every five minutes she's making a comparison with the United States, where of course Costa Rica is better, or else she'll just make a general, disparaging comment about some aspect of life in the United States. I think half the time she's exaggerating, but I don't say anything.
She changed her mind, though, about wanting to live in Alajuela once she saw how steep the roads are there. Then when I told her that she would have to learn to drive stick if she lived in Alajuela, she gave up the idea. But even despite an obstacle like that, I think she's better off living down here. In the U.S., I live only half-an-hour from her, and there's no way for her to visit me unless Jessica picks her up. And that's not a realistic option any more now that Jess lives two hours north of Mita. I just get the impression that Mita's condition would be much subdued here in Costa Rica. Even though she's seemingly between a rock and a hard place, I think the choice - although difficult - is obvious. But I've gotta try not to say anything; Mita's a grown woman who has to make her own decisions.
In the meantime, I'm gonna take a backseat on this trip. Everyone is excited to see Mita, so I'll just come along for the ride.
Today I also feel like shit, but I think its already breaking up since I've got a lot of mucus coming out of my nose, and I have that gut feeling that I really am getting better, despite - or perhaps because of - the symptoms. So on account of my sickness, I've done nothing but hang around Zahyra's house. The only thing to speak of is that yesterday morning Yorlen and I went to the Mercado Central in San Jose to buy a bunch of vegetables and other ingredients for her to make tamales navidenos. I went along to keep her company and to help her carry the ton of stuff we picked up. It was towards the end of that outting that I really started feeling sick and weak. I paid for a taxi, which was less than $3, and since then I've been holed up here like a hermit.
Mita is having a blast here. She seems to be the happiest I've seen her in a long while. Even now that she's here she continues to talk about buying property here in Costa Rica. And it seems like every five minutes she's making a comparison with the United States, where of course Costa Rica is better, or else she'll just make a general, disparaging comment about some aspect of life in the United States. I think half the time she's exaggerating, but I don't say anything.
She changed her mind, though, about wanting to live in Alajuela once she saw how steep the roads are there. Then when I told her that she would have to learn to drive stick if she lived in Alajuela, she gave up the idea. But even despite an obstacle like that, I think she's better off living down here. In the U.S., I live only half-an-hour from her, and there's no way for her to visit me unless Jessica picks her up. And that's not a realistic option any more now that Jess lives two hours north of Mita. I just get the impression that Mita's condition would be much subdued here in Costa Rica. Even though she's seemingly between a rock and a hard place, I think the choice - although difficult - is obvious. But I've gotta try not to say anything; Mita's a grown woman who has to make her own decisions.
In the meantime, I'm gonna take a backseat on this trip. Everyone is excited to see Mita, so I'll just come along for the ride.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
San Jose, Costa Rica -- evening
Here I am, once again in Costa Rica. Back where this journal began. I guess maybe that's how life operates: in cycles. The biggest difference, I suppose, is that I'm two years older. Of course I don't really know if I feel like I'm 27 years old as compared to 25 years old. But then again, when I came last time, I was drinking a shitload of alcohol. Life was a party for me then. Anything that happened in between drinking sessions was simply an intermission. Now I've become greatly accustomed to not drinking at all, or at least drinking very infrequently. Every once in a blue moon, I get the itch to drink my ass off, but I think that's okay as long as it really is once in a blue moon. I drank a bunch of Concha y Toro red wine last night; it gave me just enough of a kick. It was just what the doctor ordered and gave Tia Zahyra's crazy comments an extra dimension.
However, it seems that even if I wanted to go out, it really wouldn't be happening. That's because Carlos is working from 10am to 10pm, 7 days per week. That leaves him with no time and even less energy to hit the town. I don't even expect to see him until the reunion on the 25th.
A second difference from my last visit is perhaps just as important as the first. That is, I'm here with Mita this time, whereas I was alone last time. In other words, last trip was mine, this trip is hers. Of course, my disposition resents any type of impediment on my independence. For better or for worse, I've resigned myself to keeping my mouth shut and just going with the flow. Only when I'm in a one-on-one situation do I really engage in conversation. That'll likely be the status quo until Cherise arrives here on January 1st. I'll keep my spending to a bare minimum until then, then we'll blow it out for 6 days, 5 nights.
Being here has already helped me to appreciate the relationship. I'll be really happy to see Cherise on the 1st. But for now, I'll hold off on that aside.
To continue on the second point above, I also has much less time here and much less money. For all intents and purposes, that means I'm basically attached to Mita, at least until Cherise gets here. Its tough, too, because I can only take so much of Mita at a time. She never seems to be paying attention to what she's doing, it seems to me that she sometimes puts on a 'clueless' act for whatever reason, and she's constantly trying to put on a comedy show. I guess she's having fun, and that's great. But I can only take so much.
Enough about that, though. The reality is that this trip will be different. Besides seeing family and getting some time in a comfortable climate, this trip is a much-needed break from Temple Law, which sucks most of my energy, and not even because of the studies. The social atmosphere at Temple is still so repressive to me that it drains me sometimes. I began to feel a tiny bit more comfortable at the end of the semester. Nevertheless, I definitely needed a break. I have to make a concerted effort to keep up with my work, especially early in the semester, and set an early standard of class participation, albeit at a moderate level. I need to be more assertive at the outset. I think that will make me more accessible to my classmates. And my confidence will feed off of both the cause and the effects.
For now, though, I'll try to chill out down here. Law school has only crossed my mind a couple of times, and only to give me appreciation of my temporary repose. So despite any difficulties (e.g. American Airlines losing our luggage for one day) and annoyances, this trip is just what I needed.
In the short-term, I'm looking forward to the 25th to see more family. Then I'll look forward to what will hopefully be a good 31st. Then, of course, I'll really be excited to see Cherise. Of course I'm already looking forward to seeing her.
And finally, to review really quickly, today we drove all the way into the mountains of Alajuela, near Volcan Poas, to pick-up Tia Tere, then drive back to the town-center of Alajuela. I should say that I drove the whole day. For what it was worth, it felt good to actually be in control of something. And I got to see much of the countryside.
Alright, I'll write again soon, probably tomorrow, since writing gives me a chance to be left alone to my own thoughts and reflections. This and reading allow me my only real methods of enjoying the independence that I normally enjoy back home.
However, it seems that even if I wanted to go out, it really wouldn't be happening. That's because Carlos is working from 10am to 10pm, 7 days per week. That leaves him with no time and even less energy to hit the town. I don't even expect to see him until the reunion on the 25th.
A second difference from my last visit is perhaps just as important as the first. That is, I'm here with Mita this time, whereas I was alone last time. In other words, last trip was mine, this trip is hers. Of course, my disposition resents any type of impediment on my independence. For better or for worse, I've resigned myself to keeping my mouth shut and just going with the flow. Only when I'm in a one-on-one situation do I really engage in conversation. That'll likely be the status quo until Cherise arrives here on January 1st. I'll keep my spending to a bare minimum until then, then we'll blow it out for 6 days, 5 nights.
Being here has already helped me to appreciate the relationship. I'll be really happy to see Cherise on the 1st. But for now, I'll hold off on that aside.
To continue on the second point above, I also has much less time here and much less money. For all intents and purposes, that means I'm basically attached to Mita, at least until Cherise gets here. Its tough, too, because I can only take so much of Mita at a time. She never seems to be paying attention to what she's doing, it seems to me that she sometimes puts on a 'clueless' act for whatever reason, and she's constantly trying to put on a comedy show. I guess she's having fun, and that's great. But I can only take so much.
Enough about that, though. The reality is that this trip will be different. Besides seeing family and getting some time in a comfortable climate, this trip is a much-needed break from Temple Law, which sucks most of my energy, and not even because of the studies. The social atmosphere at Temple is still so repressive to me that it drains me sometimes. I began to feel a tiny bit more comfortable at the end of the semester. Nevertheless, I definitely needed a break. I have to make a concerted effort to keep up with my work, especially early in the semester, and set an early standard of class participation, albeit at a moderate level. I need to be more assertive at the outset. I think that will make me more accessible to my classmates. And my confidence will feed off of both the cause and the effects.
For now, though, I'll try to chill out down here. Law school has only crossed my mind a couple of times, and only to give me appreciation of my temporary repose. So despite any difficulties (e.g. American Airlines losing our luggage for one day) and annoyances, this trip is just what I needed.
In the short-term, I'm looking forward to the 25th to see more family. Then I'll look forward to what will hopefully be a good 31st. Then, of course, I'll really be excited to see Cherise. Of course I'm already looking forward to seeing her.
And finally, to review really quickly, today we drove all the way into the mountains of Alajuela, near Volcan Poas, to pick-up Tia Tere, then drive back to the town-center of Alajuela. I should say that I drove the whole day. For what it was worth, it felt good to actually be in control of something. And I got to see much of the countryside.
Alright, I'll write again soon, probably tomorrow, since writing gives me a chance to be left alone to my own thoughts and reflections. This and reading allow me my only real methods of enjoying the independence that I normally enjoy back home.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- night
It's been over two months since I last wrote, but I've thought often of writing. So much seems to have happened in the last two months.
First and foremost, I started law school and now I'm in full-swing with less than two months until my last exam for the semester. The experience has been a challenging one. Despite the difficulties - or perhaps because of them - I am very grateful. I can say that my dream to be a student at Temple Law has materialized, although the day-to-day doesn't seem or feel like a dream. I occasionally remind myself of why I wanted to do this: to help other people. It seems like most of the time that I dislike my five classes, although there are occasional moments of interest and even rarer moments of pleasure.
But I believe that moving consciously and intentionally in the direction of one's dreams is one of the two purposes of life. In that respect, I have to believe I'm succeeding. The second purpose of life is complementary to the first. Each positively effects the other. From my present perspective, then, I am lagging a bit in the second: one must face one's fears and, quite similarly, move consciously and intentionally to overcome them. For reasons that are somewhat vague to me, I have feared speaking in front of my class. Being conscious of this, it sometimes effects my interactions with my classmates individually, although I feel that this is improving. I hope that the positive movement of the first purpose continues to strengthen me in my desire to achieve the second purpose, whether little-by-little or by leaps and bounds.
Law school has been difficult for other reasons. It has been a constant, daily struggle to keep up with the large amount of reading, and more difficult, the comprehension and retention of that reading. After ordering a notebook computer at the end of August, I finally got it in mid-September. It has helped me tremendously to get organized. Nevertheless, the struggle continues.
Another difficulty has been my schedule's effect on my relationship with Cherise. Since I am so busy from Monday through Friday, and even to a degree on Saturday and Sunday, it has left me with little time to do anything else. The little time I do have remaining, I usually choose to just resting and relaxing. At times, this has put a strain of the relationship. Cherise has a lot of free time, so she naturally gets bored sometimes. It is at times like these that she misses my companionship. There have been times where I have made compromises (not always smart), but they have been admittedly few. The pressure of school just seems to be something always on my mind, with very infrequent repose.
A related issue is my occasional envy of Cherise's schedule, especially when she isn't here, but she's out having fun. I miss that very much. But realistically, now that Corey is gone to Armenia, I think it would be difficult to recreate my early days in Philadelphia. So maybe its better that I'm in school, to use that as a weak justification - or convenient excuse.
My short-term light at the end of the tunnel is a trip to Costa Rica this December. If time permits, I want to see the Panama Canal. I'm very hopeful that it's the type of escapist experience that I'll be likely to need at the end of the semester. To relieve stress, to be able to breathe fresh air, to be able to enjoy warm weather, to be able to party and have fun, to be able to travel on new roads to new places, to love life - these are my hopes and aspirations.
And my long-term light at the end of the tunnel, of course, is to obtain a position as a result of my legal education to help other people in a positive, tangible way. Well, as mentioned I'm very busy these days, so I don't know when I'll write again. Maybe next time I'll be on a beach in Central America.
First and foremost, I started law school and now I'm in full-swing with less than two months until my last exam for the semester. The experience has been a challenging one. Despite the difficulties - or perhaps because of them - I am very grateful. I can say that my dream to be a student at Temple Law has materialized, although the day-to-day doesn't seem or feel like a dream. I occasionally remind myself of why I wanted to do this: to help other people. It seems like most of the time that I dislike my five classes, although there are occasional moments of interest and even rarer moments of pleasure.
But I believe that moving consciously and intentionally in the direction of one's dreams is one of the two purposes of life. In that respect, I have to believe I'm succeeding. The second purpose of life is complementary to the first. Each positively effects the other. From my present perspective, then, I am lagging a bit in the second: one must face one's fears and, quite similarly, move consciously and intentionally to overcome them. For reasons that are somewhat vague to me, I have feared speaking in front of my class. Being conscious of this, it sometimes effects my interactions with my classmates individually, although I feel that this is improving. I hope that the positive movement of the first purpose continues to strengthen me in my desire to achieve the second purpose, whether little-by-little or by leaps and bounds.
Law school has been difficult for other reasons. It has been a constant, daily struggle to keep up with the large amount of reading, and more difficult, the comprehension and retention of that reading. After ordering a notebook computer at the end of August, I finally got it in mid-September. It has helped me tremendously to get organized. Nevertheless, the struggle continues.
Another difficulty has been my schedule's effect on my relationship with Cherise. Since I am so busy from Monday through Friday, and even to a degree on Saturday and Sunday, it has left me with little time to do anything else. The little time I do have remaining, I usually choose to just resting and relaxing. At times, this has put a strain of the relationship. Cherise has a lot of free time, so she naturally gets bored sometimes. It is at times like these that she misses my companionship. There have been times where I have made compromises (not always smart), but they have been admittedly few. The pressure of school just seems to be something always on my mind, with very infrequent repose.
A related issue is my occasional envy of Cherise's schedule, especially when she isn't here, but she's out having fun. I miss that very much. But realistically, now that Corey is gone to Armenia, I think it would be difficult to recreate my early days in Philadelphia. So maybe its better that I'm in school, to use that as a weak justification - or convenient excuse.
My short-term light at the end of the tunnel is a trip to Costa Rica this December. If time permits, I want to see the Panama Canal. I'm very hopeful that it's the type of escapist experience that I'll be likely to need at the end of the semester. To relieve stress, to be able to breathe fresh air, to be able to enjoy warm weather, to be able to party and have fun, to be able to travel on new roads to new places, to love life - these are my hopes and aspirations.
And my long-term light at the end of the tunnel, of course, is to obtain a position as a result of my legal education to help other people in a positive, tangible way. Well, as mentioned I'm very busy these days, so I don't know when I'll write again. Maybe next time I'll be on a beach in Central America.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania -- early morning
Simultaneously a lot has happened while not much has happened since the last entry. But I won't get into that now.
Just now I was lying in bed with Cherise lying next to me. As usual, I let my mind roam free; this sometimes leads me to interesting thoughts although it also sometimes leads me to dwell on other subjects better left alone. Tonight was no different and my mind was lead to thoughts and memories of my first meeting with Cherise, the night when she first walked into the door to the apartment here at 2124 Spruce. There were two main thoughts that materialized.
The first was a funny one: Cherise and her half-sister, Myesha, were either too scared or too uncomfortable to do anything but remain standing near the front door to the apartment. In fact, they didn't move the whole time we were here before going out that night. Of course, the irony is that Cherise now lives and sleeps here. She is just as comfortable now as I am to be here.
The second general thought that came to my head was not as light. In remembering that night it would seem to validate the idea of love at first sight: we saw each other immediately, our eyes met, we began a one-on-one conversation in my bedroom, we went out dancing, she grabbed my hand to go out on the dancefloor, we began kissing during the second song, and the night continued with dancing, kissing, and hand-holding until we exchanged numbers and said "good night."
Unfortunately, the set-up for love at first sight may not hold up since another, later weekend seems to disprove that possibility. I think it was either two or three weekends later that I invited Cherise to come with me to New York City. We held hands during most of the car ride there. When Paul and Corey went out to get food, Cherise came out of the shower to kiss me and massage me. When we all went out, Cherise was only with me for less than an hour before she left me for the night. I didn't see her again during that trip to New York; she didn't come back with Corey and me to Philadelphia. I found out later that she had sex with her ex-boyfriend in Brooklyn that night. Despite the complexities of it, that act basically opened the door to my decision to have sex with Tyette in Baltimore after Evan's wedding. Maybe each of us needed to sow our wild oats one last time before settling into a relationship. But the whole story makes it difficult to call our initial meeting 'love at first sight.'
Just now I was lying in bed with Cherise lying next to me. As usual, I let my mind roam free; this sometimes leads me to interesting thoughts although it also sometimes leads me to dwell on other subjects better left alone. Tonight was no different and my mind was lead to thoughts and memories of my first meeting with Cherise, the night when she first walked into the door to the apartment here at 2124 Spruce. There were two main thoughts that materialized.
The first was a funny one: Cherise and her half-sister, Myesha, were either too scared or too uncomfortable to do anything but remain standing near the front door to the apartment. In fact, they didn't move the whole time we were here before going out that night. Of course, the irony is that Cherise now lives and sleeps here. She is just as comfortable now as I am to be here.
The second general thought that came to my head was not as light. In remembering that night it would seem to validate the idea of love at first sight: we saw each other immediately, our eyes met, we began a one-on-one conversation in my bedroom, we went out dancing, she grabbed my hand to go out on the dancefloor, we began kissing during the second song, and the night continued with dancing, kissing, and hand-holding until we exchanged numbers and said "good night."
Unfortunately, the set-up for love at first sight may not hold up since another, later weekend seems to disprove that possibility. I think it was either two or three weekends later that I invited Cherise to come with me to New York City. We held hands during most of the car ride there. When Paul and Corey went out to get food, Cherise came out of the shower to kiss me and massage me. When we all went out, Cherise was only with me for less than an hour before she left me for the night. I didn't see her again during that trip to New York; she didn't come back with Corey and me to Philadelphia. I found out later that she had sex with her ex-boyfriend in Brooklyn that night. Despite the complexities of it, that act basically opened the door to my decision to have sex with Tyette in Baltimore after Evan's wedding. Maybe each of us needed to sow our wild oats one last time before settling into a relationship. But the whole story makes it difficult to call our initial meeting 'love at first sight.'
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Vatican City -- morning
I'm sitting in the shade on the cobblestone leaning back against a wall facing St. Peter's Basilica. It's almost noontime so it's starting to heat up. But right now it's not so bad in the shade.
We've been in Rome since Sunday morning (today is Wednesday), but we haven't done much for a couple of reasons. First, it gets so hot in the afternoons that it is just too difficult to do anything outside. That clearly effects sightseeing.
Second, I have been sick since writing the last entry, since last Thursday in Granada. Last Friday, I had diarrhea and vomiting one after the other, on top of a 39* Celsius fever. So I felt I had no choice but to be safe and go to the hospital. They prescribed me antibiotics and it has taken until today to have a bowel movement that could be called reasonably close to normal. But as a result of the long sickness, I have lost weight, and hence strength. That also made any sightseeing a practical impossibility.
Lastly, the whole ordeal has forced me to end the trip prematurely, as Cherise and I are flying out of Rome Ciampino first thing tomorrow morning to arrive in London with the hopes of coming off the waitlist for Air India to fly back to New York. We shall see.
Over the past few nights, we have done some walking, though, seeing the Colosseum and the impressive Vittoriale by night. We also saw the Roman Forum and many other similar ruins right in the center of the city. Most of the streets in Rome are cobblestone, adding to the feeling of history and antiquity. Well, it's high noon, the bells having just rung, so I think we'll go inside now to tour the Basilica.
We've been in Rome since Sunday morning (today is Wednesday), but we haven't done much for a couple of reasons. First, it gets so hot in the afternoons that it is just too difficult to do anything outside. That clearly effects sightseeing.
Second, I have been sick since writing the last entry, since last Thursday in Granada. Last Friday, I had diarrhea and vomiting one after the other, on top of a 39* Celsius fever. So I felt I had no choice but to be safe and go to the hospital. They prescribed me antibiotics and it has taken until today to have a bowel movement that could be called reasonably close to normal. But as a result of the long sickness, I have lost weight, and hence strength. That also made any sightseeing a practical impossibility.
Lastly, the whole ordeal has forced me to end the trip prematurely, as Cherise and I are flying out of Rome Ciampino first thing tomorrow morning to arrive in London with the hopes of coming off the waitlist for Air India to fly back to New York. We shall see.
Over the past few nights, we have done some walking, though, seeing the Colosseum and the impressive Vittoriale by night. We also saw the Roman Forum and many other similar ruins right in the center of the city. Most of the streets in Rome are cobblestone, adding to the feeling of history and antiquity. Well, it's high noon, the bells having just rung, so I think we'll go inside now to tour the Basilica.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Granada, Spain -- night
I sit now by a fountain just down the hill from the Alhambra. The air is pleasant, now that the sun has set after a hot, dry day.
Before writing this entry, I looked back in this journal to realize that it was a little over a year ago that I was in Granada, Nicaragua, the other Granada on the other side of the Atlantic.
It's really peaceful here now, with the sound of water flowing gently behind me. This is exactly what I need right now after a tiring day. Cherise and I got up early, after a late night last night, to walk with backpacks to the Gran Via of Madrid to pick-up the rental car. Unfortunately, it took us a while to locate the place to pick-up the car. Once we got going, it was already 9:30 a.m. Four and a half hours later and we were eating lunch at a diner on the outskirts of Granada.
As an aside, in case I didn't mention earlier, we decided to rent a car to meet our transportation needs for the rest of the trip in Spain, first for financial reasons as a rental car is actually cheaper, and second, to avoid another mess like the one in the bus station at Barcelona.
So getting back to today, we drove into the city after leaving the diner. We stopped and parked near a small building that was marked as tourist information. When we arrived, though, we realized it was closed for siesta. But as luck would have it, there was a young man sitting at a bus stop across the street from the closed tourist building. We approached him and asked for directions to the area of hostels. Since he was waiting for a bus to go into town, he offerred to come with us to give directions into the city. He was very nice and helped us with a brief tour of the city. When we parted ways in the center of town, he invited us to his bocadilleria, called Piccadilly Circus.
Cherise and I drove back on to la Gran Via of Granada, parked, and compared four different hostels to eventually choose one for 25 euros total per night, with parking included. After checking in and dropping off our backpacks, we walked down into town. We stopped in a few souvenir shops, then saw a double-decker sightseeing bus. Since we were both tired, we decided this would be a good option to see the city. Towards the end of the tour, I began to feel really exhausted. After a night of little sleep then driving for nearly five hours, I needed a nap. We went back to the room and slept for almost three hours, longer than we expected.
We left to go out at about 10 p.m., dinner time. We walked back on to the street behind the hostel and randomly I saw a sign for Piccadilly Circus. Of course we went in and we saw our friend Mohammed, who hooked us up with a falafel for Cherise and a shawarma de pollo for me. It was so coincidental. The food was great and Mohammed was once again very nice. I ordered another shawarma for the road, we walked back to the Gran Via to catch a mini-bus up to the Alhambra and here we are. And here I am writing, finishing this entry.
Before writing this entry, I looked back in this journal to realize that it was a little over a year ago that I was in Granada, Nicaragua, the other Granada on the other side of the Atlantic.
It's really peaceful here now, with the sound of water flowing gently behind me. This is exactly what I need right now after a tiring day. Cherise and I got up early, after a late night last night, to walk with backpacks to the Gran Via of Madrid to pick-up the rental car. Unfortunately, it took us a while to locate the place to pick-up the car. Once we got going, it was already 9:30 a.m. Four and a half hours later and we were eating lunch at a diner on the outskirts of Granada.
As an aside, in case I didn't mention earlier, we decided to rent a car to meet our transportation needs for the rest of the trip in Spain, first for financial reasons as a rental car is actually cheaper, and second, to avoid another mess like the one in the bus station at Barcelona.
So getting back to today, we drove into the city after leaving the diner. We stopped and parked near a small building that was marked as tourist information. When we arrived, though, we realized it was closed for siesta. But as luck would have it, there was a young man sitting at a bus stop across the street from the closed tourist building. We approached him and asked for directions to the area of hostels. Since he was waiting for a bus to go into town, he offerred to come with us to give directions into the city. He was very nice and helped us with a brief tour of the city. When we parted ways in the center of town, he invited us to his bocadilleria, called Piccadilly Circus.
Cherise and I drove back on to la Gran Via of Granada, parked, and compared four different hostels to eventually choose one for 25 euros total per night, with parking included. After checking in and dropping off our backpacks, we walked down into town. We stopped in a few souvenir shops, then saw a double-decker sightseeing bus. Since we were both tired, we decided this would be a good option to see the city. Towards the end of the tour, I began to feel really exhausted. After a night of little sleep then driving for nearly five hours, I needed a nap. We went back to the room and slept for almost three hours, longer than we expected.
We left to go out at about 10 p.m., dinner time. We walked back on to the street behind the hostel and randomly I saw a sign for Piccadilly Circus. Of course we went in and we saw our friend Mohammed, who hooked us up with a falafel for Cherise and a shawarma de pollo for me. It was so coincidental. The food was great and Mohammed was once again very nice. I ordered another shawarma for the road, we walked back to the Gran Via to catch a mini-bus up to the Alhambra and here we are. And here I am writing, finishing this entry.
Madrid, Spain -- early morning
This is my second night in Madrid. And in a matter of hours, we'll be leaving Hostal Prado to pick-up a rental car to drive to Granada.
Madrid has been a tale of two cities: one very bright and sunny but less lively during the day and pleasant and livelier almost rowdy by night. As far as Madrid goes during the day, it is not a world-class city like London, Paris, and Barcelona have been. There are no major monuments and it seems as if there is little to do during the day except walk around and get a feel for the city; which isn't such a bad thing except for my shins.
Despite the overall dullness, last night was surprisingly one of the best, if not the best night of this trip. We came upon a restaurant just a few blocks from the Plaza de Espana where there was a great deal of the common 'menu del dia' for only 7.50 euros. We went in and we were the only patrons, which was great since we sat right up at the bar and got great service and good conversation from the owner and cook, Ricardo. The food was delicious, from a Russian salad to a main dish of Iberian ham cooked with mushrooms and cognac (or perhaps it was white wine). Also included was a glass of red wine. The meal was excellent, and for a very reasonable price. Ricardo and I got into a conversation about music, football (soccer), and the history of Spain.
Immediately afterwards, we rushed to a flamenco performance at Las Tablas restaurant right off of the Plaza de Espana. There were two guitarists, two singers, and three dancers, and the crowd was only about twenty. It was a very cozy environment, with a complimentary glass of red wine. The music and dancing was very entertaining, due especially to the fact that all the performers had a lot of great energy. By the time we walked back to the hostel, it was after one in the morning.
Earlier in the day, we arrived in Madrid after an enormous mess at the bus station in Barcelona the night before. We somehow missed our bus that was to go direct to Madrid, so we had to argue to get onto a later bus to Zaragoza, where we again argued (or more accurately, had a Spaniard aruge on our behalf) to get on the only two empty seats on a bus to Madrid. The whole system at the bus station in Barcelona was a chaotic mess. After the whole fiasco though, and a long bus ride through the arid north of Spain, we arrived bright and early in Madrid yesterday.
We undertook an arduous walk across much of Madrid to eventually locate the area where I had researched there would be hostels. We found the area and visited three other hostels before finding Hostal Prado at a reasonable price of 28 euros total per night. The owner, Pepe, was very nice, and has been nice our entire stay here.
After checking in, we walked our own tour of Madrid, seeing la Puerta del Sol, Plaza Mayor, Palacio Real, and la Plaza de Espana, which I already mentioned. We took a walk through el Palacio Real, which was very regally decorated, the throne Room being the most outstanding.
Earlier today, after sleeping in very late, then dealing with changing our flight tickets with Air India, we walked to el Parque del Retiro, which was serene and beautiful. There we saw el Angel Caido and el Palacio de Cristal, with a small lake of fish, ducks, turtles, and pigeons. Unfortunately there were no signs for la Plaza de Costa Rica, which I wanted a photo of.
Alright, I've gotta get up early tomorrow morning, so time now for lights out. I'm excited to move on from Madrid to Granada and the south of Spain.
Madrid has been a tale of two cities: one very bright and sunny but less lively during the day and pleasant and livelier almost rowdy by night. As far as Madrid goes during the day, it is not a world-class city like London, Paris, and Barcelona have been. There are no major monuments and it seems as if there is little to do during the day except walk around and get a feel for the city; which isn't such a bad thing except for my shins.
Despite the overall dullness, last night was surprisingly one of the best, if not the best night of this trip. We came upon a restaurant just a few blocks from the Plaza de Espana where there was a great deal of the common 'menu del dia' for only 7.50 euros. We went in and we were the only patrons, which was great since we sat right up at the bar and got great service and good conversation from the owner and cook, Ricardo. The food was delicious, from a Russian salad to a main dish of Iberian ham cooked with mushrooms and cognac (or perhaps it was white wine). Also included was a glass of red wine. The meal was excellent, and for a very reasonable price. Ricardo and I got into a conversation about music, football (soccer), and the history of Spain.
Immediately afterwards, we rushed to a flamenco performance at Las Tablas restaurant right off of the Plaza de Espana. There were two guitarists, two singers, and three dancers, and the crowd was only about twenty. It was a very cozy environment, with a complimentary glass of red wine. The music and dancing was very entertaining, due especially to the fact that all the performers had a lot of great energy. By the time we walked back to the hostel, it was after one in the morning.
Earlier in the day, we arrived in Madrid after an enormous mess at the bus station in Barcelona the night before. We somehow missed our bus that was to go direct to Madrid, so we had to argue to get onto a later bus to Zaragoza, where we again argued (or more accurately, had a Spaniard aruge on our behalf) to get on the only two empty seats on a bus to Madrid. The whole system at the bus station in Barcelona was a chaotic mess. After the whole fiasco though, and a long bus ride through the arid north of Spain, we arrived bright and early in Madrid yesterday.
We undertook an arduous walk across much of Madrid to eventually locate the area where I had researched there would be hostels. We found the area and visited three other hostels before finding Hostal Prado at a reasonable price of 28 euros total per night. The owner, Pepe, was very nice, and has been nice our entire stay here.
After checking in, we walked our own tour of Madrid, seeing la Puerta del Sol, Plaza Mayor, Palacio Real, and la Plaza de Espana, which I already mentioned. We took a walk through el Palacio Real, which was very regally decorated, the throne Room being the most outstanding.
Earlier today, after sleeping in very late, then dealing with changing our flight tickets with Air India, we walked to el Parque del Retiro, which was serene and beautiful. There we saw el Angel Caido and el Palacio de Cristal, with a small lake of fish, ducks, turtles, and pigeons. Unfortunately there were no signs for la Plaza de Costa Rica, which I wanted a photo of.
Alright, I've gotta get up early tomorrow morning, so time now for lights out. I'm excited to move on from Madrid to Granada and the south of Spain.
Friday, July 9, 2004
Barcelona, Spain -- early morning
I'm actually writing this in the afternoon, despite the caption. Cherise and I distracted each other last night before I had the chance to write.
Now I'm sitting on a beach just ten meters from the water of the Mediterranean Sea. We arrived on a flight from Beauvais, France to Girona, Spain yesterday morning at about 10:30 a.m. We then took an hour-long bus ride to Barcelona. We began walking in the direction of the main plaza, Place de Catalunya, in order to get our bearings to find a hostel that had been propagandized to us by a Honduran woman waiting at the bus stop. Along the way, however, we found the hostel that we've ended up staying at, for 20 euros each per night.
Before getting there, we saw the Arc de Triomf, Barcelona's version of Paris' momument of the same name. After checking in to our room, we took the rest of the afternoon to explore the downtown, old section of Barcelona. We did a lot of walking, and I absolutely loved the city of Barcelona. We walked down the main street, Las Ramblas, where we saw what looked at first to be a statue of Che. But then it started moving, so I realized it was a man who bore a very striking resemblance to Che. It was crazy. After a little coercion from Cherise, I got a photo with him.
We continued walking throughout the stone streets of old Barcelona. The buildings around us were all about five stories, with balconies. Each balcony had plants or clotheslines. The streets were arranged in a random fashion, so the whole thing was a maze. It was also nice to see that the streets were so clean. Each street had various shops and cafes, and restaurants.
The climate is warm enough here that there are many palm trees. Last night, after so much walking, not only yesterday but since arriving in Europe, we decided to see a movie. It was a great relief to get off our feet and just be entertained for a couple of hours. For the same reasons, it is good to be at the beach today. But getting back to the movie, we saw the third installment of Harry Potter. The movie was broadcast in Spanish, without any subtitles. Since Cherise effectively knows no Spanish, I had to whisper to her at key moments throughout the whole movie.
After the movie, we walked around for a while looking for a decent place to eat dinner. We finally settled on a restaurant on Las Ramblas, where I ate a paella de pollo. Tonight, I'll try the more typical paella de mariscos. We ate dinner after midnight. So it isn't a surprise that we slept in this morning. When we got up, we started our long walk to eventually arrive here at Playa Bogatell. So far, I love Barcelona. I could live here if I got an opportunity, or make one.
As for Paris, which I really didn't write about due to our non-stop schedule there, it was good to see and good to visit. While there, I went to the very top of the Eiffel Tower, where I used their bathroom to take a piss. We also went to the Louvre, where we saw the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo. We walked underground to see the six million bones of Les Catacombes. We saw the Notre Dame, which was so intricate in its architecture and very beautiful in appearance. We walked along the River Seine. We ate a lot of good bread and sat for hours at several sidewalk cafes. The coffee there was very strong, as a "cafe" is really a cafe espresso. We also walked along the Canal St. Martin, which was very nice too. Similarly we walked the Champs Elysses to the end, the Arc de Triomphe. Two nights, we went to the Bastille, which is a very hip area for restaurants and bars.
All in all, Paris was beautiful for its sights. But the French language was difficult, and so it frustrated me to be unable to effectively communicate. Paris also surprised me for not being very clean and for its citizens' bland style of clothing. In fact, the Metro stops reminded me of the Philadelphia subway, not so impressive.
Well, I done a lot of writing in trying to catch up. And now the sun is starting to go down. If I want to take another dip in the Mediterranean, I've got to do it now.
Now I'm sitting on a beach just ten meters from the water of the Mediterranean Sea. We arrived on a flight from Beauvais, France to Girona, Spain yesterday morning at about 10:30 a.m. We then took an hour-long bus ride to Barcelona. We began walking in the direction of the main plaza, Place de Catalunya, in order to get our bearings to find a hostel that had been propagandized to us by a Honduran woman waiting at the bus stop. Along the way, however, we found the hostel that we've ended up staying at, for 20 euros each per night.
Before getting there, we saw the Arc de Triomf, Barcelona's version of Paris' momument of the same name. After checking in to our room, we took the rest of the afternoon to explore the downtown, old section of Barcelona. We did a lot of walking, and I absolutely loved the city of Barcelona. We walked down the main street, Las Ramblas, where we saw what looked at first to be a statue of Che. But then it started moving, so I realized it was a man who bore a very striking resemblance to Che. It was crazy. After a little coercion from Cherise, I got a photo with him.
We continued walking throughout the stone streets of old Barcelona. The buildings around us were all about five stories, with balconies. Each balcony had plants or clotheslines. The streets were arranged in a random fashion, so the whole thing was a maze. It was also nice to see that the streets were so clean. Each street had various shops and cafes, and restaurants.
The climate is warm enough here that there are many palm trees. Last night, after so much walking, not only yesterday but since arriving in Europe, we decided to see a movie. It was a great relief to get off our feet and just be entertained for a couple of hours. For the same reasons, it is good to be at the beach today. But getting back to the movie, we saw the third installment of Harry Potter. The movie was broadcast in Spanish, without any subtitles. Since Cherise effectively knows no Spanish, I had to whisper to her at key moments throughout the whole movie.
After the movie, we walked around for a while looking for a decent place to eat dinner. We finally settled on a restaurant on Las Ramblas, where I ate a paella de pollo. Tonight, I'll try the more typical paella de mariscos. We ate dinner after midnight. So it isn't a surprise that we slept in this morning. When we got up, we started our long walk to eventually arrive here at Playa Bogatell. So far, I love Barcelona. I could live here if I got an opportunity, or make one.
As for Paris, which I really didn't write about due to our non-stop schedule there, it was good to see and good to visit. While there, I went to the very top of the Eiffel Tower, where I used their bathroom to take a piss. We also went to the Louvre, where we saw the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo. We walked underground to see the six million bones of Les Catacombes. We saw the Notre Dame, which was so intricate in its architecture and very beautiful in appearance. We walked along the River Seine. We ate a lot of good bread and sat for hours at several sidewalk cafes. The coffee there was very strong, as a "cafe" is really a cafe espresso. We also walked along the Canal St. Martin, which was very nice too. Similarly we walked the Champs Elysses to the end, the Arc de Triomphe. Two nights, we went to the Bastille, which is a very hip area for restaurants and bars.
All in all, Paris was beautiful for its sights. But the French language was difficult, and so it frustrated me to be unable to effectively communicate. Paris also surprised me for not being very clean and for its citizens' bland style of clothing. In fact, the Metro stops reminded me of the Philadelphia subway, not so impressive.
Well, I done a lot of writing in trying to catch up. And now the sun is starting to go down. If I want to take another dip in the Mediterranean, I've got to do it now.
Monday, July 5, 2004
Paris, France -- morning
Well, things don't always go according to plan. Cherise and I have a room together at Mary's Hotel in Paris. The hotel has begun renovations, and we're in a newly-renovated room. The rate is 50 euros per night. Cherise's mother, brother, and sister have a room next door.
We arrived in Paris early yesterday morning. The bus didn't even stop at a station or terminal; it just dropped us off on the side of the road. We referred to a map on a nearby board that listed over a hundred hotels in the area, each classed by price range. In an attempt to locate the closest cheap hotel, we stumbled upon a hostel, whose owner was sleeping on a cot inside the window. We walked in and someone woke him up. He said he was full but recommended another hotel to us: Mary's Hotel. We told him we preferred to walk the twenty minutes. Unfortunately, as we found out twenty minutes later, he had sent us in the opposite direction. I really don't think this was malicious in any way. To get back on the right course, we got on the Metro to arrive in the vicinity of the hotel. From there, we navigated the haphazard streets of Paris to eventually arrive and reserve our rooms at about 10:00 a.m.
We arrived in Paris early yesterday morning. The bus didn't even stop at a station or terminal; it just dropped us off on the side of the road. We referred to a map on a nearby board that listed over a hundred hotels in the area, each classed by price range. In an attempt to locate the closest cheap hotel, we stumbled upon a hostel, whose owner was sleeping on a cot inside the window. We walked in and someone woke him up. He said he was full but recommended another hotel to us: Mary's Hotel. We told him we preferred to walk the twenty minutes. Unfortunately, as we found out twenty minutes later, he had sent us in the opposite direction. I really don't think this was malicious in any way. To get back on the right course, we got on the Metro to arrive in the vicinity of the hotel. From there, we navigated the haphazard streets of Paris to eventually arrive and reserve our rooms at about 10:00 a.m.
Saturday, July 3, 2004
London, England -- night
I just realized in answering a question that Cherise just asked me that I have been giving a standard response that I don't care. More specifically, Cherise asked me if I was excited to be going to Paris. As I write this, I'm sitting on a bus that will take me to Paris. I said that I don't care. Reflecting on my response, I realize that I say this because I won't be sharing my experiences with anyone. This really saddens me. All of my photos have been of major sites, but I haven't been in any of those photos. They're basically postcards. I have nothing to show that I was actually here in London. I hope that Paris is different. I have to risk going off on my own in Paris. It'll be more money, but its worth my happiness and independence.
London, England -- afternoon
Things seem to be coming to a head with Cherise and me. Since arriving in London, I have been very aloof from Cherise and her family. Cherise told me that her family has noticed, as I'm not surprised.
In the weeks leading up to our trip, and especially since we've been here, I realize in high definition that most of who Cherise is and what she does actually irritates me. Very simply, we are not compatible. I think what has kept us together this long is out opposite schedules, and so the fact that we see each other for only short periods of time, and our physical-sexual attraction for each other, which undoubtedly exists.
Unfortunately, it has become apparent to me that Cherise has little to no interest in anything historical or political, which are my two main areas of interest. Conversely, I have little to no interest in the world of musical productions, which is Cherise's main area of interest. Last night's viewing of Chicago solidified that belief.
Also, Cherise's sense of humor really irritates me. She likes to do dramatic impersonations of the people around her. The dramatic way in which she does them really annoys me. Conversely, Cherise has told me that she doesn't appreciate my sometimes sarcastic sense of humor.
Cherise just came with our flight information from Paris to Barcelona, and she wants me to get the flight information from Barcelona to Rome. I should really write this out, think out this whole situation. I'll come back to this very soon.
In the weeks leading up to our trip, and especially since we've been here, I realize in high definition that most of who Cherise is and what she does actually irritates me. Very simply, we are not compatible. I think what has kept us together this long is out opposite schedules, and so the fact that we see each other for only short periods of time, and our physical-sexual attraction for each other, which undoubtedly exists.
Unfortunately, it has become apparent to me that Cherise has little to no interest in anything historical or political, which are my two main areas of interest. Conversely, I have little to no interest in the world of musical productions, which is Cherise's main area of interest. Last night's viewing of Chicago solidified that belief.
Also, Cherise's sense of humor really irritates me. She likes to do dramatic impersonations of the people around her. The dramatic way in which she does them really annoys me. Conversely, Cherise has told me that she doesn't appreciate my sometimes sarcastic sense of humor.
Cherise just came with our flight information from Paris to Barcelona, and she wants me to get the flight information from Barcelona to Rome. I should really write this out, think out this whole situation. I'll come back to this very soon.
London, England -- afternoon
So here I am, another day. Look's like we're getting a late start. I really can't control when we leave since I'm following the group. I actually woke up much earlier today, but no one was awake, so I decided to just fall asleep.
Cherise's mother just came back to the room with bus tickets to Paris. We'll be leaving later tonight. Right now, I have no idea what we're doing today. Although I have a few ideas, I'll just follow along with everyone else. We'll have to carry our backpacks today since we'll have to check-out of the hotel in just a little bit.
The weather here has been cool, windy, and sometimes rainy. The very stereotype of London. Paris will be a change of temperature, as well as culture, language, and environment. I'm looking forward to the change, as much as I'd like to do some exploring of my own in London. As with any world-class city, I'm sure there's so much more to see. At least I can say that I saw all of the major sites in London.
The one thing that I need to figure out is how to reimburse Cherise's mother for the bus ticket, which was L32. All I have left is about L17. And I don't want to change one of my traveller's checks for pounds when we'll be leaving England in less than twelve hours. I'll just give her what I have, then give her some euros when we get to Paris and I can change a traveller's check for euros.
I'll make some brief reflections of London now while I have a chance. London is a very clean city despite having very few trash cans in public. The architecture is very noticeably Old World, very intricate, very beautiful. The city reminds me of Philly in that it is a generally flat city, that is very few high-rises. The difference is that all of Philly's high-rises are concentrated in center-city, whereas here in London they are dispersed. The tube is easy to understand and easy to use. It is also very clean and user-friendly, unlike the subways of New York and Philly. The tube rides very smoothly. I only saw two mice in the tube here, and they were much smaller than those in New York. All in all, London has been great. I wouldn't mind living here if I could deal with the weather. But now time for Paris.
Cherise's mother just came back to the room with bus tickets to Paris. We'll be leaving later tonight. Right now, I have no idea what we're doing today. Although I have a few ideas, I'll just follow along with everyone else. We'll have to carry our backpacks today since we'll have to check-out of the hotel in just a little bit.
The weather here has been cool, windy, and sometimes rainy. The very stereotype of London. Paris will be a change of temperature, as well as culture, language, and environment. I'm looking forward to the change, as much as I'd like to do some exploring of my own in London. As with any world-class city, I'm sure there's so much more to see. At least I can say that I saw all of the major sites in London.
The one thing that I need to figure out is how to reimburse Cherise's mother for the bus ticket, which was L32. All I have left is about L17. And I don't want to change one of my traveller's checks for pounds when we'll be leaving England in less than twelve hours. I'll just give her what I have, then give her some euros when we get to Paris and I can change a traveller's check for euros.
I'll make some brief reflections of London now while I have a chance. London is a very clean city despite having very few trash cans in public. The architecture is very noticeably Old World, very intricate, very beautiful. The city reminds me of Philly in that it is a generally flat city, that is very few high-rises. The difference is that all of Philly's high-rises are concentrated in center-city, whereas here in London they are dispersed. The tube is easy to understand and easy to use. It is also very clean and user-friendly, unlike the subways of New York and Philly. The tube rides very smoothly. I only saw two mice in the tube here, and they were much smaller than those in New York. All in all, London has been great. I wouldn't mind living here if I could deal with the weather. But now time for Paris.
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