Sunday, July 27, 2014

Date night and spending time with others

The weekend began on Friday evening with Jeannie and I going on our first date since the birth of Seva.  We went to dinner at Audrey Claire, then drove to PPL Park to catch the second half of Crystal Palace at Philadelphia Union, then we drove over the Commodore Barry Bridge into South Jersey to hit up the WIF (Water Ice Factory) in Magnolia before heading back to pick-up Seva and go home.

The highlight yesterday was visiting Jeannie's friend, Sam, who had a small gathering at his home on Lincoln Drive.  Besides Jeannie, Seva, and me, there were only 4 others, so it was a pretty low-key event.  The weather was pretty nice, as it was on Friday too, so we sat on the deck out back.  I asked Sam's partner, Shin, a lot of questions about his native Tokyo.  And Jeannie and Sam reminisced quite a bit about their days in their international MBA program.

Before going to the gathering at Sam's, I found out from my friend Ronald that he will be visiting Philadelphia for one day in March 2015.  I'm really looking forward to seeing him.

Today was a day of rest.  I didn't set foot out of the apartment all day.  I watered the plants, drank coffee, gave myself a haircut, took a shower, spent time with Jeannie's friend Veronica who came over for a short visit before she had to leave for PHL, read my book, talked on the phone with my sister, spent time with Jeannie's dad who was here for the day giving us a hand around the apartment, watched the movie Superbad on Comedy Central, ate a great dinner prepared by Jeannie and her dad (shrimp with garlic, cod, rice with coconut milk, and lentils), and spent a lot of fun time with Seva at the end of the night.

Well, Jeannie just passed by and she's getting ready to go to bed.  Since I want the chance to spend time with her before she falls asleep, I'm going to wrap this up now and head up too.  Good night, dear readers.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Saw Philadelphia Union vs. Crystal Palace at PPL Park, section 131, row M, seats 7 and 8, for $38.00 each, with Jeannie.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Tidbits

Since I married Jeannie, I have not removed my wedding ring from my finger, other than rarely fiddling around with it during a meeting or while watching tv.

Seva laughed for the first time tonight.  It was a beautiful and amazing thing to see.  While Jeannie was cooking mac'n'cheese (with tuna & peas) for dinner, I was playing around with Seva.  While standing near the stove, I was holding Seva facing me, with her pelvis held against my mid-torso and her upper body angled away from my body, so she could look up at me.  I periodically dipped down, while smiling at her and encouraging her.  She responded positively and seemed to be having a good time.  And then, she started giggling.  She did it for just a couple of seconds after about a handful of the dips, then she didn't do it again.  When I looked at Jeannie, she had tears of joy in her eyes.  Like I said, it was a beautiful and amazing thing to see.

I also found out online today that there is a Seva Café right outside of Washington, D.C., in Alexandria, Virginia.  We'll have to go there some day, maybe soon.

Jeannie and I went a couple nights ago (on Saturday, July 19th) to visit my friend Javi and his girlfriend Gina.  We enjoyed a really nice evening of salad (made of kale, scallops, cashews), dessert (dates, figs, and sunflower seeds), moscato rosé wine, and coffee.  Javi also played some music for us, first on his various flutes, then on his guitar.  Jeannie had brought her guitar, so she played the only song she knows how to play, Blackbird (Beatles song), while Javi played one of his flutes.  At one point, while Jeannie went into the bedroom to feed Seva, I was able to speak en español to Javi and Gina; we discussed politics in Latin America.  All in all, we had a really great time.  I hope to spend time with them again.

I've noticed that Seva now weighs more than the Baby.  Speaking of the Baby, her right ear has been very dirty the last few days.  I clean it out with cotton swabs, but it seems to get dirty again.  And since I bring up the Baby, I should say that Rocky is doing well as always.  This evening he rediscovered the toy mouse that he goes stretches forgetting about; he kicked it around for a while and really had a lot of fun.

Tonight at the Y, I did a chest/arms work-out.  In my final set of bench press, I put up 195 pounds twice.  In my final set of dumbbell curls, I lifted 35 pound dumbbells 8 times each arm.  In my final set of incline bench press, I put up 135 pounds 4 times; that was at the very end of my work-out.  Overall it was a very good work-out.

Oh, a couple days ago, on Saturday, I helped Jeannie's dad move into his new apartment here in Philadelphia.  He's living just a few blocks away from Rittenhouse Square and he's no more than a short 8-minute walk from our place, so he'll be able to see Seva much more often.  This is great not just for him, but for me too in the short-term as he'll be available to watch Seva for short periods of time when I need to run an errand or take care of something and also for Jeannie and me in the medium-term as he'll be available for babysitting services.  I like my father-in-law a lot, so I'm happy to have him close by now.

Well, it's time to take out the trash and I should be winding down since I know Jeannie wants to go to start going to bed a bit earlier at night.  I thank God for all blessings and ask for God's blessing, protection, and guidance every day always, but especially in these next handful of months, when there will be so much change.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Seva's Progress

Seva is almost 14 weeks old.  And she continues to make progress, seemingly every day.  Jeannie just mentioned to me that, earlier this evening (while I was at the gym), Seva did not cry at all during her bath, not at any point from beginning to end.  This was a first.  Apparently she is getting used to getting bathed.  I think she even likes it now.

With that being said, though, there has not been one day in her short life so far in which she has not cried.  She cries every day: out of hunger; because she has a dirty diaper; because she doesn't want to be laid down, but instead continued to be held; because she wakes up alone and wants attention; or sometimes simply because she is getting sleepy.  A day will come when she will not cry at any point from when she wakes to when she goes to sleep for the night.  I'm looking forward to that day.

Jeannie also wanted me to write here that Seva discovered our DirecTv remote control on Tuesday of this week, and she's been mesmerized by it ever since.  The reason she likes it so much is that there is a part of it, near the middle, where there are buttons of several different colors (red, green, yellow, blue, orange, gray, and black) near each other.  The colors obviously draw her attention.  I witnessed it tonight for the first time.  It was very cute and funny; she would just stare at the remote control and follow it with her eyes no matter where I held it.

Finally, as I wrote in a text message to my mom earlier tonight, Seva seems to be more vocal and more emotive these days, especially at times when both Jeannie and I are around and talking with each other.  It's like Seva wants to join the conversation.  It's funny and also amazing to see her continue to develop, albeit in small incremental steps, but on a daily basis.  We've really been blessed.  As I write this now, she's sleeping in her crib upstairs, our beautiful baby girl.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

My Wife is Beautiful

I gave a hug and kisses to Jeannie as she was about to walk out the door to work this morning.  She was wearing a black top and gray skirt and she looked absolutely amazing.  She's a beautiful woman, inside and out, and I'm very attracted to her.  I am so happy that I'm married to her.

As I write this, Seva is sitting in my lap, facing the computer screen.  I'm so grateful to be a father.  Seva is the product of my love for Jeannie, including everything I wrote above, and I'm just so happy that we're a family.

I'm happy for everything that is good in life.  I also understand that sometimes there are people and situations that are not good, and that's okay too, but that it's best to limit or even remove those people and situations from one's life.  There are some places where you belong and others where you don't.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Good Second Day, and the issue of Public Education

Today was a good second day at home with Seva.  She had some really good time on her belly, during which she was really able to arch her back and hold her head up for a period of several minutes, without any problem or difficulty at all.  She continues to show great observational skills, as she's clearly curious at all the thing within her immediate field of vision.  Finally, she's showing more and more signs of recognition.  For example, Jeannie and I went food-shopping at Trader Joe's tonight.  Jeannie had Seva in the front-loaded backpack.  At different points, I saw Seva looking at me in recognition, probably precisely because I wasn't holding her.  And again tonight, just a few minutes ago in fact, right after Jeannie finished feeding Seva, Seva just stared at me in recognition, then when I started talking to her and making noises she responded with a smile of recognition.

Tonight, we watched two back-to-back Frontline programs on PBS, both of them excellent: first, Separate and Unequal, then Omarina's Story.  Although each program was only 30 minutes long, each did a great job of concisely presenting the issues.  In Separate and Unequal, the intersection of race and class in the area of public education in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  In Omarina's Story, a vignette of the challenges, both educational and class-related, of Omarina Cabrera, a teenage girl of Dominican descent in New York.  Without getting into too much detail at this point and in this forum, I may very likely have the opportunity to serve as a member of a board of directors of a school, located in an urban, low-income neighborhood.  To say that seeing these programs tonight was timely and apropos is pretty obvious.  As I mentioned to Jeannie, the issues raised in the programs, particularly the first one, remind me of a book that I read a number of years ago: Savage Inequalities: Children in America's Schools by Jonathan Kozol.  I'll have to take a look at the book again.  I remember it was a very good read.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Lightning and Progress

Today was Jeannie's first day back to work after three months of maternity leave, thus her first day at the office since early April.  That meant that today was my first day as stay-at-home dad with Seva.  I've had three preparatory experiences, though: once when Jeannie was feeling very overwhelmed and she went to stay at a hotel in Center City, another time when Jeannie stayed at a hotel overnight with her friend Marcella who was visiting us from out-of-town, and a third time when Jeannie went down to Washington, D.C. to spend the night with her birth mother who was in D.C. for a work-related conference.  So, today wasn't something totally difficult or new or overwhelming for me.  In fact, I enjoyed a pretty good day with Seva.

We danced while listening to music a couple times.  And as I've stated before, when Seva isn't sleeping, it's very often that she likes to be held, so I held her a lot today, often with her head either on my shoulder or, when she falls asleep, her face sort of planted into my neck between my shoulder and cheek/chin.  Seva definitely seems to like dancing; I'm not sure yet if it's the sound of the music or the motion that comes with dancing or a combination of both, but if she's not getting too sleepy she often lights up when we're dancing.

I tell ya, when Seva is awake and alert, without any pressing needs like food or a diaper change, she's a beautiful little girl.  There are moments when she just seems happy to receive attention and those moments are great.  I'm really happy to be a father.

Anyway, the other part of my title above is a reference to the pretty nasty lightning storm that we had tonight.  I was at the YMCA, doing some lifting when the storm began.  I had to run home in the rain.  As I got home, the storm seemed to intensify, with more and more lightning in the sky.  Our DirecTv signal was totally out, until it came on for about 20 minutes, just in time for 6abc to interrupt regular programming (The Bachelorette) with updates on the progress of the storm and warnings for what to do in the event of a tornado.  In the meantime, I cooked pork chops (seasoned with sea salt and Cajun seasoning), while Jeannie made rice (with light coconut milk and water).  Finally, the storm abated and we were able to watch the Bachelorette while eating dinner and while Seva sleep for a bit in her bouncy chair.  Overall, I'd say it was a good day and good night.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Thursday Walkabout

Almost every day for about the past three months or so I've read the daily reading on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops website.  For those not familiar with Catholic mass, these are the biblical readings used at Catholic churches around the country.  A line from today's Gospel reading really struck me:
Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words -- go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet.
This line resonated with me, since it feels so on-point with my feelings about my current job.  I've written about this extensively before, so speaking of dust, I don't want to shake out the rug again right now and start a coughing fit.  All I'll emphasize is, regardless of fault or causes, as that quote relates to my feelings on [...], it strikes a chord with me.

And as long as I'm on the topic of quotes, I turn my attention to a backward-looking perspective to a forward-looking one as I quote a tweet from Pope Francis earlier today and similarly apply it to my life now:
Do not be afraid to cast yourselves into the arms of God; whatever he asks of you, he will repay a hundredfold.
Changing the topic and focus of this post, though, I'll share that Jeannie and I took a walk earlier this evening.  We walked to Sister Cities Park to catch the tail-end of a low-key concert there.  Then, we walked up to the lawn directly across the street from the Free Library of Philadelphia, where a play was being performed al fresco.  On the walk home, we ran into two people, both connected to [...], the first the chairman of the [...] board of directors, who was out for a walk with his college-aged daughter.  Then, closer to home, we ran into a former [.....] advocate/intern, who recounted to us the very long tale of the duplicitous actions of her boyfriend over the past 9 months or more.  Hearing it from an outside perspective, it seemed obvious that she should cut all ties with him immediately.  But I have a strong sense that she will continue to give him chances, or else she wouldn't have talked about him so much, and she certainly wouldn't be considering -- as she shared with us -- that she's looking to buy a house only two blocks from him.  I pray that she comes to her senses soon, hopefully without getting hurt any, or at least too much, more.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Prayers of a Faithful

I just finished watching an episode of Frontline on PBS titled "Secrets of the Vatican."  It raised a lot of interesting issues and gave a nice snapshot of how those issues eventually brought Pope Francis to the papacy.  I am a Catholic.  After watching the program, I'd like to offer the following prayers:

  • May God bless and protect Pope Francis.
  • May God bless, be with, protect and heal the victims of child sexual abuse by clergy.
  • May God bring the perpetrators of child sexual abuse to justice.
  • May God lead away from sin (in the form of coerced and manipulated selfish sexual gratification) any clergy, or any person, who considers sexually abusing a child, and lead them toward self-awareness of their weaknesses and awareness of how their considered actions would hurt innocent people.
  • May God lead away from sin (in the selfish love of money and power) all mafia, whose criminal actions hurt other people, and lead them toward productive labor in the service of others.
  • May God lead away from sin (in the form of pride, power, and arrogance) the Roman Curia and lead them toward humility in the service of others.
  • May God bless the Church, that is the people who are the Church, to maintain its faith in God, despite the sins of others.
  • May God bless our Archbishop, Charles Chaput, with the fortitude and sense of justice to act decisively and justly in response to any and all allegations of child sexual abuse by clergy in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia.
  • May God bless the new priest, Father Estéban, at St. Charles Borromeo, with faith in action, with wisdom to learn and grow, with strength to persevere through any and all challenges, and with love of God to guide him throughout his life and priesthood.
  • May God bless me, that I too may practice what I preach and lead by example to the best of my human ability in God's service.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Seva's first roll-over

Today, July 4, 2014, at almost exactly 12:00 p.m., Seva rolled over for the first time from her tummy (face-down) to her back (face-up).  Jeannie and I were both here to witness it as it happened.  Seva was in her pack-n-play downstairs.  It was pretty cool to see.  As we've been noticing, Seva's ability to hold her head up and arch her back have been improving.  And as I've been saying all along, her legs are really strong.

Anyway, time for me to make some coffee now.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Cycling in the Heat, and Thoughts of a Summer Past

I took a bike ride this morning.  I left at 11:10am and returned at 11:46am, making it a 36-minute ride.  Most of my ride was along the Schuylkill River Trail.  After just checking Google maps, I estimate the ride to be about 10 miles.  During the time that I rode, the air temperature was at or near 90 degrees and the dewpoint was high, around 72 degrees.  By the time I got back home I was sweating like a racehorse.  But it felt good, really good.

As I wrote recently, I feel like my holistic health is greatly improving: physical, mental, spiritual.  There are two main components to it: 1) more time: to be with my wife and daughter, to lift weights and take bike rides, and to read, among other things; and 2) being away from the office.  I had lunch with my good friend Madhu yesterday.  One of the first things he said to me, when we sat down to eat at Sansom Kabob House, was that I looked better than I have in a while (or something to that effect).  I told him that I feel better than I have in a while, and I shared very briefly why.  It's good to know that, in such a relatively short time, I've been able to feel better and move in a positive direction.  It's what I was very much hoping for, and I thank God so much for this and all blessings.

Meanwhile, as a note on a related element, I've put a bit more effort in the past couple days to do more reading.  After a couple sessions, I'm now 200 pages into the 348-page (this edition, at least) Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez.  It would take a pretty big push, but I would love to finish the book by the end of this coming weekend.

I have intentions -- and already the first book in line -- to change the direction of my reading.  Immediately before the birth of Seva, I figured that I would only have the time and mental capacity to read fiction -- something that could be read in short spurts and would be a welcome escape from the rigors of early parenthood.  Now on the third book of the three books I bought just before Seva's birth, I'm ready to read topics of more substance, non-fiction, and related to my field of work and the skills necessary to excel in it.  I won't share the title of the book that's currently in the batter's box (since I haven't begun it yet), but I'll say that I'm looking forward to reading it, thus giving me added incentive to finish Love in the Time of Cholera as soon as possible.

Anyway, as I'm writing this, the sky is a weird color -- the sun is setting in the west but the sky is covered in low clouds as rain is coming down fairly steady.  I just stepped outside on to the back patio to check on the kittens (as I'd recently mentioned in a post here).  Earlier this afternoon I checked on them due to the strong heat.  I saw three kittens huddled together in a matted clearing, then their mother cat came from my right, hissing at me -- more as a warning than out of any viciousness -- while slightly to the left of the huddle of kittens came another two crawling underneath the wooden fence separating our property from the neighbor's yard behind us.  In total, there are five kittens: two mostly gray with black stripes, two with white patches and patches of gray/black, and one totally black.  It was really cute to see.  But as I just checked them now, all five are sort of huddled near each other, completely soaked and still getting pummeled with raindrops, while their mother cat is nowhere to be seen.  I hope the kittens make it through this rainstorm.  I wish there was something I could do right now, but I don't think there is.  Since they don't realize it at all, Rocky and the Baby should be thankful to be indoors, where it's safe, warm, and dry.

Now, on to a totally separate topic, for some reason today I thought about the last "girlfriend" I had before meeting my wife.  I put the word girlfriend in quotes because I can't say that I consider all past relationships as being at the girlfriend level.  I don't know of any further classifications in the English language that allow for further distinction.  I consider that I had three relationships with girlfriends, as I define that term, before I met and began my relationship with my wife.  My relationship with Adaliz was a relatively short, 4-month relationship between my relationships with my last girlfriend and with my wife; although our relationship was sincere while it lasted, I don't consider it a relationship that rose to the level of girlfriend, mainly due to the length of the relationship.  Adaliz was (really, is, but I'll speak in the past tense since the relationship is over) a beautiful girl.  She had long straight dark brown hair, light brown eyes, and beautiful naturally tan Latina skin, being of half Salvadoran and half Venezuelan descent.  Strangely (or perhaps not so, as assimilation and acculturation go), she spoke very, very little Spanish.  She was very much into poetry and, somewhat on a broader scale, into art.  In fact, one of my favorite memories with her was a date to the Modern Museum of Art in New York City.  As I said, she was a visually and aesthetically beautiful girl.  As with so many relationships, especially from the man's perspective, it was Adaliz's physical beauty that really drew me to her.  I also loved her name, something about it made me desire her even more.  Our relationship began just fine.  We met at my friend Paul's wedding in Key West, Florida.  At the reception, I found myself looking for, and then at, her quite frequently.  Near the end of the reception, I knew that I had to say or do something, so I took the opportunity when she passed by me to say, "Are you going out [after the reception]?  I hope to see you out there."  I ended up seeing her shortly after, at a bar where nearly everyone went after the reception.  I approached her when she was at the bar ordering a drink and I started a conversation; things started from there and we ended spending the rest of the night together, until I finally went back to my hotel room around 3am.  During that time, she and I left everyone behind and went bar-hopping, during which time we talked and got to know one another.  When ended the night on the roof of her hotel, overlooking the main drag in Key West, kissing and talking still with one another.  I finally pulled myself away to go back to my hotel room, as I already mentioned.  After that weekend, we kept in touch and followed through on plans to see each other.  She lived in Hoboken, New Jersey, while I lived in Philadelphia of course.  So, it was a long-distance relationship, something I vowed to never do again after the lesson I learned from the end of my relationship with Cherise.  But due to my attraction to her, I was willing to overlook that at the beginning.  The distance also helped to slow things down, or at least keep things from getting too passionate, which was a good thing.  Looking back on it now, although I wouldn't have needed the time to reach this conclusion, it was a relationship characterized largely by sexual passion.  I believe that we both cared about each other, for sure, but the reality was that our time together was less about what we saw or what we talked about than what we did together.  It was a perfect cure -- for what it was worth -- from the esteem hangover that I was feeling from the miserable end to my relationship with Ileana.  It really was, as I smile even now typing this.  Sounds good, right?  Well, as time went on, there were two issues that emerged, oddly and ironically both tied to lessons learned from previous girlfriends.  First, I got tired of the distance, which I mentioned already was a main lesson from my relationship with Cherise.  Second, I began to notice that Adaliz had a hot side, no surprise after having experienced and felt her passion in bed, but the prospect of a relationship with another young, hot-tempered, or less-than-even-keeled Latina was the last thing I needed after the misery and heartache I suffered at the hands of Ileana.  I began questioning to myself the relationship with Adaliz and about two weeks before I ultimately ended it, I asked Adaliz for some time to think things over.  That totally infuriated her, which further supported my second concern above, thus paradoxically driving me to call the end of the relationship almost right away after her reaction.  What she may not have realized fully was that the emotional scars from my last relationship were still very fresh, and with my self-esteem already in a much healthier spot (due to Adaliz herself), I knew that I deserved much better, or at least different, than an immature temper.  I have no qualms now with the decision I made to end the relationship with Adaliz.  As fate would have it, I met my wife only the very next weekend after I ended it with Adaliz -- which any onlooker would say was a rebound, but I'm now married, happily so, and we have a beautiful daughter.  If there's anything I'll always remember and cherish from my relationship with Adaliz, it was the passion, something that cannot be invented or feigned, and something which in its own right is a blessed experience from God.  I believe that firmly with full faith.  That's why, despite the brevity of the relationship, and any observer's writing it off as simply a rebound relationship, it was worth much more than that.  I can say that because I was the one who lived it and I am the one who remembers it and cherishes it now.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Critique of U.S. Men's National Team elimination from the 2014 FIFA World Cup

Three criticisms of the United States Men's National Team performance today against the Belgium Men's National Team and overall in the 2014 FIFA World Cup:

  1. After his initial quick goal against Ghana, U.S. captain Clint Dempsey was largely ineffective.
  2. U.S. forward Jermaine Jones was slow as molasses, beaten on runs and breakaways time after time.  And he was on the ground constantly today.  We need to replace him with someone stronger, more resilient, more able to absorb blows but continue to stay on his feet.  Oh, and someone fast as lightning.
  3. U.S. midfielder Michael Bradley -- for all the talk about his "crisp" passing -- did not deliver.  His ball-handling was off.  His passes were certainly not crisp.  We need to replace him with someone with poise, with good vision, and most importantly with that "quarterback" skill and mentality (to use an analogy with American football) that is so valuable to any successful sports team.
Three classes of people who will be happy that the United States Men's National Team lost today:
  1. United States social/cultural conservatives who hate the social/cultural liberals that love soccer.
  2. Americans of Latin American descent who, out of some combination of anti-nationalism and racism, hate the U.S. men's national team.
  3. Most people in the rest of the world.