As I wrote recently, I feel like my holistic health is greatly improving: physical, mental, spiritual. There are two main components to it: 1) more time: to be with my wife and daughter, to lift weights and take bike rides, and to read, among other things; and 2) being away from the office. I had lunch with my good friend Madhu yesterday. One of the first things he said to me, when we sat down to eat at Sansom Kabob House, was that I looked better than I have in a while (or something to that effect). I told him that I feel better than I have in a while, and I shared very briefly why. It's good to know that, in such a relatively short time, I've been able to feel better and move in a positive direction. It's what I was very much hoping for, and I thank God so much for this and all blessings.
Meanwhile, as a note on a related element, I've put a bit more effort in the past couple days to do more reading. After a couple sessions, I'm now 200 pages into the 348-page (this edition, at least) Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez. It would take a pretty big push, but I would love to finish the book by the end of this coming weekend.
I have intentions -- and already the first book in line -- to change the direction of my reading. Immediately before the birth of Seva, I figured that I would only have the time and mental capacity to read fiction -- something that could be read in short spurts and would be a welcome escape from the rigors of early parenthood. Now on the third book of the three books I bought just before Seva's birth, I'm ready to read topics of more substance, non-fiction, and related to my field of work and the skills necessary to excel in it. I won't share the title of the book that's currently in the batter's box (since I haven't begun it yet), but I'll say that I'm looking forward to reading it, thus giving me added incentive to finish Love in the Time of Cholera as soon as possible.
Anyway, as I'm writing this, the sky is a weird color -- the sun is setting in the west but the sky is covered in low clouds as rain is coming down fairly steady. I just stepped outside on to the back patio to check on the kittens (as I'd recently mentioned in a post here). Earlier this afternoon I checked on them due to the strong heat. I saw three kittens huddled together in a matted clearing, then their mother cat came from my right, hissing at me -- more as a warning than out of any viciousness -- while slightly to the left of the huddle of kittens came another two crawling underneath the wooden fence separating our property from the neighbor's yard behind us. In total, there are five kittens: two mostly gray with black stripes, two with white patches and patches of gray/black, and one totally black. It was really cute to see. But as I just checked them now, all five are sort of huddled near each other, completely soaked and still getting pummeled with raindrops, while their mother cat is nowhere to be seen. I hope the kittens make it through this rainstorm. I wish there was something I could do right now, but I don't think there is. Since they don't realize it at all, Rocky and the Baby should be thankful to be indoors, where it's safe, warm, and dry.
Now, on to a totally separate topic, for some reason today I thought about the last "girlfriend" I had before meeting my wife. I put the word girlfriend in quotes because I can't say that I consider all past relationships as being at the girlfriend level. I don't know of any further classifications in the English language that allow for further distinction. I consider that I had three relationships with girlfriends, as I define that term, before I met and began my relationship with my wife. My relationship with Adaliz was a relatively short, 4-month relationship between my relationships with my last girlfriend and with my wife; although our relationship was sincere while it lasted, I don't consider it a relationship that rose to the level of girlfriend, mainly due to the length of the relationship. Adaliz was (really, is, but I'll speak in the past tense since the relationship is over) a beautiful girl. She had long straight dark brown hair, light brown eyes, and beautiful naturally tan Latina skin, being of half Salvadoran and half Venezuelan descent. Strangely (or perhaps not so, as assimilation and acculturation go), she spoke very, very little Spanish. She was very much into poetry and, somewhat on a broader scale, into art. In fact, one of my favorite memories with her was a date to the Modern Museum of Art in New York City. As I said, she was a visually and aesthetically beautiful girl. As with so many relationships, especially from the man's perspective, it was Adaliz's physical beauty that really drew me to her. I also loved her name, something about it made me desire her even more. Our relationship began just fine. We met at my friend Paul's wedding in Key West, Florida. At the reception, I found myself looking for, and then at, her quite frequently. Near the end of the reception, I knew that I had to say or do something, so I took the opportunity when she passed by me to say, "Are you going out [after the reception]? I hope to see you out there." I ended up seeing her shortly after, at a bar where nearly everyone went after the reception. I approached her when she was at the bar ordering a drink and I started a conversation; things started from there and we ended spending the rest of the night together, until I finally went back to my hotel room around 3am. During that time, she and I left everyone behind and went bar-hopping, during which time we talked and got to know one another. When ended the night on the roof of her hotel, overlooking the main drag in Key West, kissing and talking still with one another. I finally pulled myself away to go back to my hotel room, as I already mentioned. After that weekend, we kept in touch and followed through on plans to see each other. She lived in Hoboken, New Jersey, while I lived in Philadelphia of course. So, it was a long-distance relationship, something I vowed to never do again after the lesson I learned from the end of my relationship with Cherise. But due to my attraction to her, I was willing to overlook that at the beginning. The distance also helped to slow things down, or at least keep things from getting too passionate, which was a good thing. Looking back on it now, although I wouldn't have needed the time to reach this conclusion, it was a relationship characterized largely by sexual passion. I believe that we both cared about each other, for sure, but the reality was that our time together was less about what we saw or what we talked about than what we did together. It was a perfect cure -- for what it was worth -- from the esteem hangover that I was feeling from the miserable end to my relationship with Ileana. It really was, as I smile even now typing this. Sounds good, right? Well, as time went on, there were two issues that emerged, oddly and ironically both tied to lessons learned from previous girlfriends. First, I got tired of the distance, which I mentioned already was a main lesson from my relationship with Cherise. Second, I began to notice that Adaliz had a hot side, no surprise after having experienced and felt her passion in bed, but the prospect of a relationship with another young, hot-tempered, or less-than-even-keeled Latina was the last thing I needed after the misery and heartache I suffered at the hands of Ileana. I began questioning to myself the relationship with Adaliz and about two weeks before I ultimately ended it, I asked Adaliz for some time to think things over. That totally infuriated her, which further supported my second concern above, thus paradoxically driving me to call the end of the relationship almost right away after her reaction. What she may not have realized fully was that the emotional scars from my last relationship were still very fresh, and with my self-esteem already in a much healthier spot (due to Adaliz herself), I knew that I deserved much better, or at least different, than an immature temper. I have no qualms now with the decision I made to end the relationship with Adaliz. As fate would have it, I met my wife only the very next weekend after I ended it with Adaliz -- which any onlooker would say was a rebound, but I'm now married, happily so, and we have a beautiful daughter. If there's anything I'll always remember and cherish from my relationship with Adaliz, it was the passion, something that cannot be invented or feigned, and something which in its own right is a blessed experience from God. I believe that firmly with full faith. That's why, despite the brevity of the relationship, and any observer's writing it off as simply a rebound relationship, it was worth much more than that. I can say that because I was the one who lived it and I am the one who remembers it and cherishes it now.
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