Keep Calm and Have Faith

I've been listening to a lot of Steely Dan lately.  I like the smoothness of the music, the smartness of the lyrics, and the vague nostalgic feeling that I get when I listen to it.  I've needed the calming effect a lot these days, and I'm grateful for that.

Earlier today, despite the warm, sunny skies, the power at the office cut out about 8 times in the course of half an hour, starting around 11am.  Later, the phones even cut out for a while.  I hung around until about 1:30pm, when we were allowed to go home.  The phones were back, but our connection to the network and to the internet was still down, effectively making it impossible to work, since our case management software is internet-based and we need access to the network in order to open our saved documents.  I was told that, for some unknown reason, there were rolling brown-outs on our block of Chestnut Street.

It felt so good to walk home that time of day.  As I've written about the past couple days (and as I've been thinking about and feeling for at least the past couple months), I feel oppressed, uncomfortable, anxious or all of the above when I'm at work.  Like a dark cloud lifting off my shoulders, leaving work and going home is a transition from bad to good.  To be able to do it much earlier than expected today made it even sweeter.  Something's got to change, that's all I'm gonna say on that topic right here, right now.

I want to be happy, I want to feel like I'm being useful, I want to serve others, I want to use my God-given gifts in a positive way, I want to feel accepted by others, I want to feel comfortable where I work and with the people who work with me, I want to be respected, I want to feel good about myself and the work I do, I want the courage and faith to make a positive change in my life, I want to do God's will, and I pray for God's grace to hear, and hopefully answer, my prayers.

Speaking of faith and God, during the break at work earlier, I called Father Ed on his cell phone and left a voicemail for him, asking to see him some time tomorrow late morning or early afternoon to chat.  My goals in seeing him are just to thank him for making me feel welcome at St. Charles Borromeo, get to know him a little better and have him get to know me a little bit better, and I also think I may mention how I am feeling like I'm very likely approaching a crossroads in my life -- professionally as I've mentioned and also personally as I hope to move forward in my relationship with Jeannie -- and how I would welcome his thoughts or advice on either or both.  I know he left a voicemail for me a little while ago, so I think I'll check that now.