Wednesday, July 4, 2007
In Search of the Future
meaningful human contact is what I have lacked
the impact being that my sense of tact is no longer
completely intact; the fact is that memories and days
have faded to black, my drive has become slack,
and as Iraq is attacked, so too am I terrorized
by the constant self-conscious insecurity. Will the day come when I can
break off my shackles, retract the distractions that
have protracted my hunger, and redact all these words
that reflect my actual, contemporary self? Yes!?...
the impact being that my sense of tact is no longer
completely intact; the fact is that memories and days
have faded to black, my drive has become slack,
and as Iraq is attacked, so too am I terrorized
by the constant self-conscious insecurity. Will the day come when I can
break off my shackles, retract the distractions that
have protracted my hunger, and redact all these words
that reflect my actual, contemporary self? Yes!?...
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
a big favor [email to Cherise]
Cherise,
I have to ask a really big favor of you. The bar exam is Tue, Wed, and Thu, July 24, 25, 26. I know that you'll be making your decision about whether to take the world cruise btwn now and then. Please don't tell me your decision until Fri July 27, no matter what the decision is. Please.
Right now, I'm pretty much expecting you to take the world cruise, but even still, I'm holding out hope that you may choose to be with me. And I'm cool with that for now; I can handle that no problem. But I don't want to find out that our relationship is basically over the wk before the bar exam: I need to deal with that separately afterwards. The bottom line is that I cannot have ANY external stress from now until the bar exam. So please help me out with this.
Let's talk again this Saturday. There are a few things I want to tell you before you make your decision. I've sat here trying to type them out, but I'd rather tell you in a real conversation.
The only thing I will say is on the topic of planning. Although I agree with you that life should not be micro-managed, I do think that life should, to a certain extent at least, be planned. And my main support for this belief is that God has a plan. So I believe that I should too. Having a plan just means that you have a vision of your life, and that you're making decisions and taking positive actions to realize that vision. A plan is just that: a plan; it is not a set of unbreakable rules; because life brings the unexpected, a plan can and should change; it is not set in stone.
So on the topic of planning, Cherise, I don't think you should talk down on it. "One should not live life like a dead leaf being blown around at the whim of the wind." You can quote me on that one.
I miss you a lot. If that means nothing to you, then that really sucks. Be sure to look at old photos of us before you make your decision. If that doesn't change your mind, then I guess it's better that we never see each other again. But I want you to look at the photos because I know that you're easily influenced by what immediately surrounds you; the photos will help to give you a wider perspective. Being on the ship so far from me makes it the easy decision to leave me behind forever; but it doesn't make it the right decision.
I have to ask a really big favor of you. The bar exam is Tue, Wed, and Thu, July 24, 25, 26. I know that you'll be making your decision about whether to take the world cruise btwn now and then. Please don't tell me your decision until Fri July 27, no matter what the decision is. Please.
Right now, I'm pretty much expecting you to take the world cruise, but even still, I'm holding out hope that you may choose to be with me. And I'm cool with that for now; I can handle that no problem. But I don't want to find out that our relationship is basically over the wk before the bar exam: I need to deal with that separately afterwards. The bottom line is that I cannot have ANY external stress from now until the bar exam. So please help me out with this.
Let's talk again this Saturday. There are a few things I want to tell you before you make your decision. I've sat here trying to type them out, but I'd rather tell you in a real conversation.
The only thing I will say is on the topic of planning. Although I agree with you that life should not be micro-managed, I do think that life should, to a certain extent at least, be planned. And my main support for this belief is that God has a plan. So I believe that I should too. Having a plan just means that you have a vision of your life, and that you're making decisions and taking positive actions to realize that vision. A plan is just that: a plan; it is not a set of unbreakable rules; because life brings the unexpected, a plan can and should change; it is not set in stone.
So on the topic of planning, Cherise, I don't think you should talk down on it. "One should not live life like a dead leaf being blown around at the whim of the wind." You can quote me on that one.
I miss you a lot. If that means nothing to you, then that really sucks. Be sure to look at old photos of us before you make your decision. If that doesn't change your mind, then I guess it's better that we never see each other again. But I want you to look at the photos because I know that you're easily influenced by what immediately surrounds you; the photos will help to give you a wider perspective. Being on the ship so far from me makes it the easy decision to leave me behind forever; but it doesn't make it the right decision.
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